Episode 56: Ramblings of a Sleep-Deprived College Mom

Christine and Sarah kick off another laugh-packed episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone,' blending mental health discussions with side-splitting stories. From online dating fears and podcast gods to entrepreneurial frustrations and fitness challenges, the sisters cover it all with humor and heart. They also dive into the struggles and successes of starting a new business, the importance of consistency and variety, and their upcoming meditation retreat adventure. Amid jokes and genuine moments, the conversation offers a refreshing take on navigating life’s ups and downs with a sense of humor and determination.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Transcript

Chris: 0:25

Hello and welcome to The Mental Funny Bone. Why does it make me laugh? Every time? Every time you do something gross. I'm like, it's, she's adorable. It's so funny. She burped and then she farted. Not at the same time.'cause that's not very, that's very rare. Um, go ahead, sorry. Welcome to the Mental Funny Bone. Go ahead. I'm Christine and uh, this is my sister Sarah. She, uh, burps. A lot, but we are a podcast dedicated to mental health and making sure that, uh, the people out there know that they are not alone in their journeys to becoming better human beings and better mental, uh, fitness wellness people. Um, amen. Yeah, amen. Was it a prayer? I don't know. Was it the blessing? Sometimes it feels like it, it feels like the blessing. Like we need to say these few words before we get started. We need to talk to the podcast Gods about giving us, giving us funny shit to say. I would like to say based on our intro, can you imagine if I had to do online dating? Like my profile? She says, fuck a lot. She burps, she farts. She also eats like and not salad like a lot of wings. And she likes Miller Light. Right. I thank God that I don't have to do online dating.'cause it would just be, I mean, can you imagine the group I would pull with that description? Poof. Yeah, sorry. You could do regular dating and do just as well. It's, the good news is I never, ever have to date again. So that's really fucking cool. That is the good news. And I, I have found somebody just the normal way, not the normal. I mean, online dating is cool. Whatever. I found somebody in, in real life. No, that still sounds bad. You know what I mean? I, I hate to point it out, but you, you just dated your boss. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Why wouldn't I, I feel like that's, that's what happened. I fell down the steps and he felt bad for me and then dated me and look at us now 23 years later. I am also concerned about my audio setup today because I forgot to bring my headphones with me. So, and I can tell by the constant blue, surrounding by little thing that it's picking up every single I can hear. Maybe an air conditioning. Oh yeah, for sure. Okay. For sure. I think it's loud also. Alright. No, that's gonna be great. That's gonna be, that's what it sounds like. We'll, we'll take care of that in, post that, what we call it, is it post. We'll take care of that in, uh, edit sounds. No. Whatever, edit, whatever Becca does, she'll fix it. Yeah. Shout out to Becca, the intern. We miss you today. Be. Becca's gonna do some help, uh, do some help. Becca's gonna help me with some stuff. I have a YouTube channel. I also have a Pinterest page. Tell me more about your pop. Let's, let's pop it up. These are two things I have to work on because I don't really understand them. And making videos I thought wouldn't be like that difficult for me. I tried and I just, it's like the last one I think I made just started with, this is fucking stupid. I don't know what to do. So, so plan over panic. Yeah, it has, it has been launched for officially a month. Yay. I wish I had like graphics or sound effects to do like fireworks. Sounds great. Sounds great. Champagne pops or something. I'll just do it with my hands. You guys gotta look at the YouTube video'cause it's epic. Off you go. Yeah, it's, it's there. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. I'm not getting the results that. I'm supposed to get based on what I'm doing. So that's kind of shitty and kind of frustrating, but it's only been a month. I didn't expect to have a full client list by now. My, my subscription, my subscriptions, newsletter subscriptions are growing, so that's good. I have a couple potential clients, but I think my first client, I'm actually going to suggest. Someone else. I don't, there's, there's lots that I don't really think I should talk about on a podcast. Cool. I think, but from a business standpoint, it's a little frustrating. But I mean, think about how far ahead of the game you are than the people who have ideas about their new business venture. Yeah. Um, when. When I was doing a lot more entrepreneurial things in the workplace, the idea is always that you wanna, that you wanna get started. Mm-hmm. And you wanna look at it and you wanna get something out there so that you can move it and tweak it and make it better, but you can't make it better until you get something out there. And. Just like when we were running half marathons back in the day. Mm-hmm. Like we're the shittiest runs that we had, ones where it spiders came down out of nowhere, like heaven, spiders, circus, spiders, circus, spiders, and jumped on us. Those were, those were better, those were better runs than anyone who was sleeping on the couch. Right, right. I've, I've, I've taken the step. I'm moving forward. I am learning and speaking of learning, just started. No, not just started, I'm just finishing up, uh, CBT coaching certification. So cognitive behavioral in coaching. It's technique, not therapy because we're not therapists. Yeah, you're just technique. So I'm finishing up that and after that I'm going to be starting mindfulness and self-awareness coaching. Do you wanna say hi to Olivia super quick? Hi Olivia. Hello Olivia podcast for a moment. Hello. Is she gorgeous? Are you going to soccer practice now? I'm going to help the freshmen move into college, which, mm-hmm. I don't know why I'm not a freshman. Yeah. But you're nice and you wanna make them comfortable, like big muscles. Yeah, I think that's why coach suggested it.'cause you're just gonna spend all day lifting. Yeah. Yep. All right. Good. Good chat. Good chat. Good talk. Good talk. Good talk. I love her. I'm sorry. Mindfulness. No, I'm just, uh, after my CBT certificate, I'm gonna start working on mindfulness and self-awareness certificate. That is, that is amazing. Again, I think that there are so many, there are so many ways to be, to be positive about your pop. Flat out just to, to have started it, to have organized as much as you have organized. Like I know that I'm your sister and I'm going to cheerlead no matter what. So many people have these ideas and so many people feel inspired to do this, and so many people are playing Candy Crush on the couch playing farm games. I gave up my farm game for this. I mean, it literally like, you're like the poster kid for people who, who, I don't know, like you got the farm game, you got uh, dragon books you have to read, and you decided, you know what? Instead of farm games and Dragon Books, I'm just gonna do this thing that I've been inspired to do and have been kind of afraid to do. So yeah, I think it comes back to, well, I don't think so. I know it comes back to solid. Deep work on values and what you're willing to give up to go for the values that really matter. And so I think that's really where I made that choice. But that's where that's choice happens and that's where, that's where it started for me. And I'm very proud of everything I've done. I've done a shit ton of work over the past two months and I've created a lot of things and um, I'm just looking forward for somebody to actually use the things that I'm creating and. Yeah. Patience, patience, patience. And I, I said like every, and everything that I've signed up for is pretty much a year subscription, so I'm in it for at least a year, I mean, exactly. And we'll see where it goes. And, and I mean, I think that the valuable part of it. Even if you never have a client, and this is kind of what I was getting to with, you know, do something. Mm-hmm. Like even if you never have a client, you have the experience of laying out a business plan and not just a piece of paper with like three things on it. And you have the foundation of looking at values and, and lining yourself up with them. And I think that that is the, like, that's the true takeaway from it for me, that I mean. You don't need to really like, that is success. I mean, if we're gonna define success, that is a, that is what, um, that is where it, it, it comes in, I think. Yeah. And I, I mean, I feel like the lease that could come out of it is, I'm getting these certifications and getting these certifications is just coaching myself. Yes. Like, oh, exactly. That's kind of cool. So I get that. Um, and hopefully I use that and learn in my, my own life. So that's. Yeah. Yeah. That's where we're, I love, so I am, I'm proud of myself. I am still excited. I'm trying not to get down. I'm still gonna do the marketing things that I know, but I don't have, like, the first surge of marketing where I grew my list is where I put money in. Like, you have to invest a little bit. I don't have any more to invest. So it's gonna have to be what it is. Like I don't, I don't know what else to do. But also that's, that's kind of the business. Yeah. Like you're just dealing with constraints all the time. Like, I can only have this many people, or this many things, or this many widgets. Like that's just Yeah. Life. Yeah. Also, before we get too deep, I want to point out that it is so humid in North Carolina that I am actually watching this hair curl real time. Ooh. It was straight when we started and now it is, uh, now it's gotten a little spiral to it. Mm. I love humidity. Right. It's a, it is ama like, I didn't realize that the south, this might be why we had a civil war, because it is so humid here. It's so, it's just pissed. It's hot. Everyone's like, listen, I don't wanna play by your roles. It's hot. I was in Louisiana in June or July, I think, I mean years ago, and that might be the worst experience I've ever had outside of the drive through alcoholic slushies that an eating alligator. There was, there was a lot of things that were really cool about that trip. What was not cool was taking a shower, putting makeup on, fixing your hair, looking like a professional human being, and then walking outside and immediately sweating and not being able to breathe. Like I looked at my boss and was like, I don't know why the fuck I showered. Why do people, why does anybody shower? We we're in a swamp. I don't understand. I don't fucking disgusting here. Yeah. And uh, so for the people I am in North Carolina right now. And I am moving Olivia back into a dorm room for junior year. And I have to say I don't recall there being a big jump up in quality of rooms between sophomore year and junior year when I went to school. I mean, you're still staying in the, like I stayed in the sorority house, so I stayed in the same crappy ass 10 by 10 space that I shared with various roommates through that college period. I didn't make it to my junior year living with people like my technical junior year. I was at home by then. I mean, oh no, I was in the sorority house for a semester. We, we all get through it in different ways. It went very poorly. Imagine that. Imagine someone stuck your attention deficit hyperactivity ass into a place where there's no structure and a lot of loud girls and booze like, wow, I don't know why this didn't go better. No, you know, I think go better. Rush hour like the game, not the movie with Jackie Chan. No, no, the game.'cause this is where I had like my most, this is where I was down. I was down bad. Like I hate it. I was sad. And so I didn't really leave my room that much. This is, this is also where our darling Olivia kind of is. She's, she's over it like through years. It's been fun. She's, she's like, yeah. Six months younger than everybody else here, but she's like, I'm, I'm so done. I, I don't, I'm so done. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah. Um, I, I didn't get there until senior year. Like senior year. I was like, I, yeah, I don't, like when I played soccer my senior year, I don't think I even tried to learn everybody's name on the team, like. On the outside, I was like, yeah, hey, how's it going? But on the inside I was like, I don't, I mean, I tore my, or partially tore my ACL like two days into the season and then had to like limp the rest of the way through it. Yeah. After that I just really hated every, everybody. Mm-hmm. The trainer who was like, I think it's just your pain tolerance. Is it? Mm, because I'm talking to you and I'm not crying, so it's not really my pain tolerance. I'll show you pain to tolerance. You cunt, right? Hey, hey Doc. I'll see you next Tuesday then. How about that? Fuck off. Anyway, so here I am in North Carolina. I've rented the nicest, prettiest Airbnb and it, I'm, I'm trying to, I'm trying to. Like consolidate my thoughts on Airbnbs because they're awesome, right? I mean, this place, if you're on the YouTubes, it looks like a gothic museum. I mean, there's just no getting around it. It's beautiful. There's a chandelier, there's artwork, there are, there's so much lighting in here that I had, it took me 20 minutes to figure out what all the switches were for. Geez. To one of those. Do you wanna see the, do you wanna see the kitchen? Hold on. Sure. Yeah, let me, let me spin this guy around. There's the stairway. For some reason it looks like an elementary school out in the hallway. Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say, I dunno about that. Oh, look how pretty, I love a pretty kitchen. I mean, that is nice. Can you see the Miller Light Tower back there? I did not see the Miller Light Tower. Let me, let me focus in like back. Oh, there it is. There she is. Nice. Yeah. Okay. All right. That's enough. Making people sick by moving the laptop around. Sorry. Sorry, YouTubes, but I wanted you to see like, and it's two floors. This is the, this is the same price as a hotel room that I stayed in with your mom and dad and Olivia. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I mean, for pricing. Airbnb's definitely the way to go. It's ridiculous. There's two floors. There's a stairway. Yeah. Oh, you have to walk through the Michael. You have to go through the, you have to go. I was just gonna say, you have to go through, say Michael's to get there. But I mean once, once you make it upstairs again, it's the, you'll see Mrs. Deme on your way. Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes. And the really nice lady who worked in the library, like all of these people are hanging out in the hallway. I don't remember the library. I'm not surprised. I do, can I? I take out all eight of these books, I will bring them back next week. The library, like you say, a library, and I think like I, I can envision the library in St. Michael's and immediately what I thought of was throw up. Right. Well, it was across from the science labs and they always smelled like vomit. Like I don't know if that was vomit, but the science labs always smell. Yeah, not that great. Then right down the hall, there was the computer lab or the computer room. There was one computer in there. Right where we took turns playing whatever that game is. Oregon Trail where you drive dysentery. Yeah, that I still have no clue what we were doing. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? Such a great game. Yeah, I got a red hat anyway. Floppy disc. Alright. Floppy disc. Stop. Stop. You're so distracting. So that's where I am. I'm here. And so, so pretty But, but like, the reason that this apartment is so affordable is that Olivia saw a street fight the other night while she was here. There's always like a homeless person sleeping on the bench right outside the front door. Yeah. Like yesterday there was like group of them and I'm pretty sure that they were doing heroin. Like, I didn't like stop to be like, Hey, are you guys doing heroin? Yeah. But I'm pretty sure. Yeah. So it's It's a little sketch. Little sketch. Yeah. But on the upside, there's a really nice restaurant across the street where I'm gonna go and have lunch today with a client. I would like to have lunch today. And I mean, so getting Olivia moved in has, has been an adventure. I would expect nothing less, but I didn't realize how much stuff we'd left at her place when we left and took the keys to the storage unit. So I don't know if you guys remember in May, Sarah and I came down to pack her up, and when we left, we took all of the keys to the storage unit. Now mind you, there are three keys. To the storage unit. There's, uh, two that Olivia has on her key chain and one emergency, one that I keep in my backpack, attached to my backpack so that it never goes anywhere else. And I never go anywhere without my backpack, so it's always with me. But when we left, we took her two keys. I didn't know this. Did I know this? I don't think so. I think we only discovered it like when I was halfway home and I was just fine. Yeah, we'll, we'll figure it out. But she took, she took all the rest of that stuff over to a friend's house, so it only took us like two trips from the storage unit and she decided she didn't need her refrigerator, so we didn't even have to move that. Okay, cool. Great. So we, we get everything over there and she's like, okay, thanks. I was like, do you want me to, do you want me to help you unpack? She was like, no. Well, I just saw a post that someone wrote about, it's to the kids, like when your mom wants to unpack everything, just let her, when your dad wants to introduce himself to other people in the dorm and embarrass you, just let him, they're going through it. I mean, I, I mean, I. Particularly this summer have so many like conflicting emotions about, about sending Olivia back. Like so many,'cause I know she's over it. Like she's not super excited to be here. Yeah. She's not super excited to play soccer. She's not super excited about any of this. Right? Like the first thing I did when I got here yesterday was just look up five psychiatrists because which is what you need to do. Because we have to switch. Like you can't have the same psychiatrist that you do in PA because you can't see them often enough. Because we don't have the technology for that these days, you know? Right. To see them often enough when they're in a different state, it's very fucking weird. Right.'cause we don't have a telephone that I can get to if somebody needed help. Yeah. Or I don't have the ability to learn the differences of the laws or anything. It's fucking stupid. We can't figure out like between the states, what's, what's a crime and what isn't, what's mandatory to be reported. Like we can't do that here because heaven forbid somebody listen anyway. So that's the first thing I did. So like anxious about leaving her, her, I'm anxious about her not being at home. I'm just anxious and I'm never like anxious. That's not my thing. So, no, it's not. I also had to text my therapist'cause I haven't had an appointment in about a month. And I was like, did. And then, and then the voices in my head, you know, the voice, not, not like the voices, but my, uh, mental, uh, your brain voice. Yeah. You should name yours. We should figure out a name for yours, Esmeralda. And that's too difficult. Dick. There are no, there are no other names in my head right now. Jennifer brain voice, just, you could share a brain voice. It's fine. I'll think of a name for it later. Oliver. Oliver, do you, you know that Oliver is probably one of the biggest assholes that will ever be a part of your life, right? Yes. Yes. Oliver is a huge dick. He's like, well, she probably canceled all of your appointments. And I was like, Oliver and I had a discussion and I was like, I don't think she would do that. I think you're not telling me the truth, which is, I mean, that's, these are all, that's a good sign. Like you're talking to him so you're aware that he's there. Right. That's the first step. I, I don't think so, Ollie. That I don't Yeah. Think that's true. Oliver, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna just gonna text her and see if maybe I missed an appointment or, yeah. Like, am I not getting the reminders? Did I lose my phone number, get lost, like how? What's, what's up? I'm just gonna ask her instead of listening to you. Yeah. So I did that and she was like, oh my gosh, no. I was on vacation for two weeks. Okay. And I was like, of course. Yeah. That makes so much more sense than you randomly deciding you don't wanna talk to me anymore. Yeah. So Emily and I have an appointment on Friday. I found a new PCP, which has needed to happen forever and ever. Yay. P CCP isn't the drug, it's your primary care physician. Yes. So I've had the same primary care physician since I moved back here, and to be fair, he was kind of older when I moved back here. When was the last time you saw him Had strep throat? Like two years ago. Okay. I mean, I've seen the lady for the Botox a couple of times. She's taken my blood pressure. I think that's the same thing. Whatever, whatever. And she can fuck off. Right. She also sent me a bill for, uh, a couple hundred bucks. Like after we talked about yours, I was like, what did they just decide to update their books and think, oh wow, we've been collecting all this money for this other shit and we forgot that they actually have to pay us for services. Oh my gosh. I have a shredder in my office, so I, yeah. Fuck you. Good luck, flowers. Here's the, my problem now though, is I get my, um, I get my marijuana card through her sugar. Switch that up. Yeah. Which means I'm gonna have to go in like, with her, it was just easier.'cause I just called and they're like, all right, gimme your credit card number. Right, right. That is what, that is what made, I mean. And I don't, at this point, I don't want to give her any more business because I am so frustrated with my own shit and that I've heard some of my other friends who go to her and I'm just, I'm over her. Yeah. I mean, so I, the last time I was there, she held, she sold me some snake oil pills. Yeah. I was like, what is it? Yeah, go ahead, throw that on the bill. You just injected$700 worth of shit in my face, and so, yeah. I mean, I was happy. I got great things out of her. I was very happy with her for what, it's been two and a half years, and I've never had a major complaint. Yeah. I mean, but it's become, it's definitely, I also felt like I was maybe a little more, what's the word for it? Not important, but like. I wasn't just someone that they're bringing in like cycling through. Yes. Do you know what I mean? And now like the past couple times I've been there, I felt like it was just get her in. Get her out as quickly as possible. And I don't particularly like that, especially. No, I think that dynamic has definitely changed a bit, especially when I've waited for two hours in the lobby. Like I would prefer that you. Don't come in. Well, and also the doctor that I made the appointment with isn't even the one I saw. Like Yeah, there was multiple things that I was like, this just doesn't cut it out if you want, but we had to pause'cause my sister was gonna shit her pants. Oh my God. Um, sorry guys. Your face was the best though. Like I wish, I'm so mad that you stopped the recording.'cause your face literally was like this. Oh my God. My eyes got real bad. Yeah. I mean, I know. All right, I'm done talking about my B Nobody wants to hear that. Yep. I will suffice it to say that I am. I was sweating. So, I didn't mean to interrupt your story, but Yeah. I mean, the feel, that place was a little different. I felt like the last time I was there, she didn't remember me from the last time. And I mean, I, I know that they see a lot of people and I know that it's only one doctor and a bunch of patients, but the least you could do is like a glance over my chart. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah. There, there's a stack of things that. It happened that I was like, all right, yeah, we're done. We're done here. And I mean, my PCP is all about the GLP one that I've been taking, and she's all about everything that that's done for me over the last three years. So I see her in December, and I'm pretty sure that if I want to continue, I will be able to get something through her. I don't think I'm gonna need to continue to go to the other one. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing for me too. I wanted someone who was remotely gonna look at. Anything other than the amount of pounds I had lost. Yeah. I felt like, I felt like she would remember me once I said how much weight I had lost, and then she was like, that is amazing. Yeah. We, we've done so well with you. What, what? Okay. All right. Yeah, so, so picked a new PCP and then made an appointment. So I go to my new PCP to get a physical to make sure that I'm not dying and, um. Then arrange to maybe get my Vyvanse prescription through the PCP.'cause I don't think that the psychiatrist really does that much for me other than prescribe the, the Vyvanse and Emily and I kind of keep an eye on symptoms and side effects and all of that. So if I think I'm gonna manage it that way rather than trying to, you know, do anything else.'cause I think, I'm not sure, but I think I can see my PCP virtually, even if I'm in a different state. Yeah, I think so. I don't know. It's probably not true. Like anything to get the scheduled for 12 narcotic that I take to make me a normal person, um, is gonna be a barrier. But I don't know if I told you this, but I mean, not having the Vyvanse for a while and then, um, and then taking the Vyvanse has shown me that quit fucking around because you need it and you are a better person on it than off of it. Yeah, so there we go. That is my, that is my health journey these days. Like I like it new PCP, new start. I also find that if you're not taking the Vyvanse, it's really hard to arrange to take the Vyvanse. So it is important to make the plans ahead of time, preventatively. To make sure that this doesn't happen. Like when your doctor says, I'm going on mat leave and I'm, I'm not gonna be back, and here's how you can get your medicine. You should probably write that shit down. Yeah. Um, do that, like, I mean, with your insurance, how many months, like prescription, how many times do you have to see the doctor? You have to see them, I think, every third month, but because that's what mine is, you have to interact with them every third, every month. Like you can't, yeah. Vyvanse won't come with any refills. Like there's just none. You can't get refills until you talk to the office and be like, Hey, everything's fine. I feel great. Can you have her refill it? Yeah. And then the third time you try to do that, they're like, oh, you have to come in and see her. Just make sure that you have those reminders. Because I feel like you haven't done really well with that. No, like I was really good with it for, um, I was really good with it because I would get down to three pills. Well, I would get down to like 10 and be like, you really, you really need to do something here. Like, you really need to do something. And then I would forget until like the next day. So then I would get down to three pills and I'm like, Ooh, I gotta call the office. And sometimes, sometimes I would be traveling. Like when I had to have that prescription filled in Philadelphia and my buddy Nicole had to go pick it up. Yeah. Um, I feel like you could do better. Yeah. I feel like I definitely, I definitely could do better. There are definitely ways that, that I could do better. Do you remember when we read the ad or AI for A DHD? I have been doing a lot of the techniques from that. And for about two, three weeks now, like really committed to it and damn. Damn. So what have you been, what are the techniques that you're doing? Like every time I think of something, I just open up. I tell like my little tei, I'm like, Hey, can you open Chad GPT and tell it to add this to my list? And then in the morning I'll log in and be like, chat GPT, can you tell me what I'm doing today? Mm-hmm. I'm like, can you move that one to tomorrow? This one isn't important. And I can do that all yammering away, like I don't have to. Yeah. Type. And if I can do it while I'm yammering, then Chad, Chad organizes it. He puts it in like its own little chat thing. So if I forget, yeah. I'm like, okay, when am I going to, when am I going to, uh, jiujitsu this week? He is like, oh, you have. Classes scheduled on Tuesday and Thursday. You also have yoga on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and you have 20 minutes of meditation at lunchtime. I'm like, are you doing all of that? The juujitsu? No, because I'm outta here. Uh, I'm in North Carolina, so I can't until I get back home. But the yoga, yes, I got my yoga mat right there. Yay. And the meditation at lunchtime definitely is happening, like even with the chaos this week. I mean, other than Monday when I was driving, it's bad to meditate and drive at the same time. Yeah, I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, I did take a little quiet time where I turned off the podcast and just, and just had some thoughts while I was driving. Yeah. So I feel like that was my meditation substitute. So. It does that, and then I've got a little recorder on my phone that listens to my meetings and makes meeting notes and action items that I can then like put into my OneNote or on my Remarkable on my little paper. Tablet. Yeah. So that even just Tuesday has been kind of a game changer. I was like, good. Oh my God, I don't have to like. Like my big A DHD concern and worry is that I try to keep so much shit in my head mm-hmm. That I, I can't, I can't, like, there gets to be like one too many things and then my brain goes, you know what? Fuck it. And throws everything up in the air and then I can't remember anything. Like, nothing gets done then. So if I can get those things out, like, do you remember in the Harry Potter movies where Dumble doors, like pulling the shit out with his magic wand and putting it in the. Cup. If I can do that, then there's more room for me to keep track of, like the things that have to happen right now. So I am loving it and I think if I can knock on wood here, if I can manage to come in. Come in. If I can manage to maintain that routine, which is really what it you, you just have to get into the routine. If I can manage to maintain that Yep. And someone around me can remind me that this isn't a pain in the ass and it's really important and a positive thing and it's not boring and it's not stupid. And if I can turn it into something like a game. Yeah. Like gamify. Exactly. Like if I can figure a way, probably in like a month to start giving myself points for doing some things and then I can like change that up in a month and use something different.'cause I think that part of what the AI book talks about is finding things that work and finding things of work right now, and a big part of me being able to kind of get through. A lot of the chaos is being able to find different things that work like, okay, now I do juujitsu, but I also like to dabble in yoga. And you know, there are different things that are gonna work at different times, I guess is what I'm trying to say. And if I can prepare for that and kind of anticipate it, then I would be better served. Do you know what I mean? That was really rambly, but you kind of get the idea. Yeah, I know that in a month it's not gonna be this way and I'm gonna have to do something to tweak it and make it interesting and exciting and new and fun. Or I'm gonna be like, fuck, it's so fucking boring to listen to chat every day. Yeah. Ultimately, the things that make us the happiest, scientifically speaking, I don't know the actual studies or anything like that, but the things that make us the happiest are the most boring. I mean that's, that kind of goes with it. And for me, unacceptable. Like that's just unacceptable. Like part of what makes me tick as a human being is being able to do something different every couple of weeks. Like that is a, I don't know. When we're talking about values, I don't know that that's a value, but that is a thing that moves stuff forward. Does that make sense? Mm-hmm. So now we're just gonna do pop coaching with me on the podcast. You need variety. You need change. Yeah. I mean that's why I switched jobs every two years. Yeah, you didn't do that until like recently. And that's fine. I looked back at my resume'cause I was pulling some shit together. And even when I was at the same company for years and years, I had a different Yeah. Job. Like I got promoted or I moved to laterally every, yeah. My, the same frequency mine, uh, my, my timeline is three months, or three months. Three years. That seems to be my consistent, like that's when shit, when I'm like, I gotta do something different, right? I gotta, which me starting this business is 100% in line with that time. Table, and that's how it's been. I've been with the company I'm with now for 10 years in October, and I've had three different positions, which is consistent with that. And now instead of switching positions, because I'm into my third year in this position, I'm just starting a business outside of it. I mean, these are the things that if you can recognize them and work with them instead of against them, then you can, you can manage the, the challenges, I think like the, the same thing with making my appointments at the psychiatrist. Or to get the Vyvanse, if I can anticipate it. Like if I can tell Chad, Hey, I'm gonna forget, but in three months from today, mark that date down. And when I ask you what I'm doing on that day, tell me I need a prescription refill. Yeah, you just have to, I mean, you, you have to listen to Chad too, like, yeah, yeah. You gotta, you gotta follow through like, that sounds so great. Actually do it with me. Like consistency though. Noah and I are gonna start doing yoga together. Yay. But one of the reasons I suggested that is because I am bad with consistency on my own. So sometimes I need a little bit of help and like I'm pretty consistent with my meditation and doing it daily ish. Uh, that's it. It's just consistency. That's, that's the key to it all is being able to be consistent with it. And I do better with consistency when I have other people working with me. So Noah and I are gonna start doing yoga together because that's really what I want to do as far as my exercise.'cause I need to build more exercise and physical movement into my days. So you wanna come to jujitsu with me, not even in the slightest. Nope. I need a jiujitsu friend. No, I should never have to leave this fucking house for physical activity. We have a Peloton bike, we have a Peloton tread, we have some other step machine, Bowflex, whatever the fuck that is. We've got yoga mats out the wazoo. We have everything we fucking need, so I should never have to leave this house. But yeah, and I mean that's part of, that's part of the boring, that's part of the things that make you happy and your exercise, your diet, your sleep, those are the most boring, but they are. Scientifically proven to have a huge impact on the happiness in your life. This is something that I tried to convey to Olivia like last week and this week. I'm like, listen, here are the things that you can control about your fitness test that you are currently obsessing about. Mm-hmm. You can control how much water you drink, you can control how much sleep you get. You can control how much protein and carbs and fat you eat. You can control. How you approach this physical fitness test mentally, like the things you can control or what other people did over the summer. What other people are gonna think about you when you're doing the test? What, uh, where, where you fall in the rank. Those are beyond your control. Like you cannot control what other people are doing. So focus on the things that you can control, even though they suck and they're boring, even though it's how much water did I drink today? Right? Not enough. Right? Those are also, I'm so sorry. We were moving Olivia in yesterday and she said the most important thing that I've ever heard Olivia say. Oh, okay. She said, I don't think anyone gives a shit about how much stuff I have. I, because. David was like, what do other people think about how much stuff you have? And she's like, oh, no one cares. Nobody cares. Nobody's cares. Nobody cares about how much stuff I have. They're worried about their own stuff. And even if it's not stuff they're worried about, they're worried about something else that's not, they're not, definitely not your stuff. They might take a look at it and be like, wow, lib. Oh, she's got a lot of stuff. And then they move on. Yeah. Then there's another thought that replaces it almost immediately. So the awesome thing was that she, she gets that. She doesn't listen to that all the time, but I mean, she's 20, so I don't listen to it all the time. And I mean, it's my go-to, but I mean, that's just the way it is. We're all fucking struggling in some way. It's like Dan Harris and his, uh, his, what's, what's it called? His opening line of everything. Welcome, my fellow suffering human beings. Yes, because that's over it. We're all, we're all going through it. Whether we're leading meditation, whether we're starting a coaching business, we don't know it all, we're all trying to figure it out ourselves. Right? Like they, you don't get a dress rehearsal for this. Like nothing. Nothing is promised, nothing is planned. And part of life is that, like, that's kind of the beauty of it. Like you don't know what's gonna happen. I mean, for people with a spicy A DHD brain, they get bored real easy. The idea that, you know. You don't know what's coming next is kind of exciting. That's where we shine problem solving, and that's kind of what makes the A DHD people good at the jobs that they pick sometimes, is that it just requires a lot of pivoting and a lot of firefighting and a lot of, well, okay, let's think about how we can solve this. So that's what I got as far as mental health stuff this week. Well, these two weeks, and I love. Like the takeaway I think from from your stuff and from my stuff is that the boring is where it is where you find the growth, the. Being able to make the boring, palatable. Like how do I make it so that I can do yoga every day? How do I make it so I can be consistent? And that's, that's, that's how you, that's how you move forward. Like I love that. Like I always love the fact that you're gonna have to struggle in order to grow.'cause when you're going through it, the struggle seems so struggly. For lack of a better word, the struggle seems so struggly. I think it's also really important for us to realize that sometimes the struggle doesn't end the way that we want it to, and we have to move on from that. And it's not always awesome. Like it's not always like, okay, well that didn't turn out the way I wanted to, but it's better this way. It's not always like that. Like sometimes the struggle isn't. It doesn't land us where we, where we want to, regardless if we could see it outwardly or not. There's some sort of growth in there. Yes. And that's what you just have to bring forward with you. And you also have to work on acceptance of yourself. Like that's a huge part of it is being able to hone in on self-compassion and not being so fucking hard on yourself. Like everything that happens isn't the end of the world. And. Everything that happens isn't your fault. And there's ways that we can move on from things and not be such assholes to ourselves, because that makes things a lot worse. How do you, how do you think we learn to be assholes to ourselves? Like this is, this is one that's. Been niggling at sort of like the outside edges of my brain mm-hmm. For, for a while. Like how, why do we do that? Like, and why do some of us, is is that the mental health aspect of it? Is that the brain chemistry piece of it? Is that some of us are way more hypercritical of ourselves than than others. I mean, that's just a fascinating kind of thing. Yeah. It's just the way that your brain, the way that your brain works. Like, I think that most of the time you have, and probably, probably a bit of both, just like everything, a little bit of balance is the best. But a lot of times you have, you know, everything's my fault. Like, like I think we talked about it before. Like I get an email about something that I was working on and I'm like, fuck, what did I do wrong? But then on the other side of that, you have people who directly go to blaming someone else, like immediately, well, I know what I did was right. What the fuck did you do? So there's kind of a, there's gotta be a center to that where you have a healthy dose of each of those, I guess. Or you just focus on right now what needs to be done instead of focusing on what somebody else or you did in the past that you can't fucking change. Right, right. I actually had a, a conversation yesterday. Um. You know, trying to get some, some stuff done at work and somebody didn't do something and we needed it done. And you know, you've been in these situations, but everyone's been in these situations before. Whether you work in like clinical research or. Internal railroad tie sales or IT or whatever, like you've been in these situations before where somebody needed to do something and they didn't do it, and now it's a crisis. And yeah, we could have, it wouldn't have been a crisis if it would've gotten done, but now, now it needs to get done. So we had a group meeting yesterday and the one girl was like, okay, so how do we assess whose fault this is? And I was like, I don't think it's the time for that. I think it's the time for us to figure out who's going to do it. Like, do you want me to do it? I'll do it. I mean, I've got the biggest title here, but if it needs done, I'll do it. I mean, I didn't say it out loud, but because it just needs to get done. And then we can come back and we can figure out who could do the postmortem, right? Like I'm gonna always go back to the point where I'm responsible for it. And that's why I didn't get done because I didn't. Do something, even if it wasn't my direct responsibility, even if it isn't my depart, like I didn't do something to, to get it done. So we can, we can have that conversation, but right now just get it done. Like, let's not Yeah. Priority. Yeah. That has to be the, to be the first. Yeah. And then priority is getting it done, and then we'll figure out where it went wrong. And it's not always. I mean, it depends on the scenario. It's not always what someone did wrong. It's just something, something happened that threw it in the wrong direction. So let's figure out what happened and how we make sure it doesn't happen in the future. These meetings, like the post-mortem meetings, they're not to blame somebody. They're not to blame anything. What they are is to learn. And grow from. Yeah. This is like, let's take the lesson and figure out how we can, we can remove the onus from one person. Share the responsibility is the way that I like to go into a lessons learned and somebody was like, somebody called me and said, Hey, you have to be more aggressive. I'm like, I don't. Thank you. Yeah. I don't think that that's necessary. I, I don't, they're like, well, this is clearly blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, it isn't what this is, is a problem with process. It's hardly ever a problem with people. It's problem. Anyway, we're, we're getting into organizational change management at this point, so. Maybe we pull it back. But I think that the, the thing was like out of that conversation was you, you just have to work with who you are, right? Yeah. Like, I'm not gonna be aggressive. I'm gonna learn a lesson and we're gonna put that in place and my organization's gonna be better for it. And those, I mean, yeah, we're talking about organization, organizational, or, you know what I mean, change process. Um, but this is also 100%. Applicable to your life and your brain voice and right, like going back and assessing, not up, not obsessing, but just assess what happened and learn and move forward like that's the best we could do. Take responsibility where you need to. And that's all you can control. You can't force somebody else to take responsibility for their actions, take responsibility for what you do and then move forward. I think what you said about responsibility kicked off a whole series of things in my head. Getting back to kind of Mark Manson, that was it. Mark Manson. Like getting back to Mark Manson and being like, yeah, responsibility doesn't always mean that you have to feel bad. Like responsibility doesn't always mean that you have to be like, oh, I suck. Responsibility is. Just that, just the lessons learned, right? Like I'm, I'm not responsible for, uh, getting into a car accident and losing the, the feeling on the right side of my body. What I am responsible for is reacting to that and finding the way to make something positive out of it, or finding a way to move forward. Not necessarily be positive, but like those, those are the things, like those are the areas of suffering. Suffering. Where, where you come out. Where you come out better. Yay. All right. Quickly before we shut her down, you and I are going on a meditation retreat. We are. We are, yes. Hmm. Which I think is gonna be our version of help. Yeah, I was, it's sounded like a great fucking idea. Real, until you signed us up. And then I got the email about like. All of it and found out we're not like we're gonna be in, I don't know. I don't know. Here's, here's the thing about this and what, what we should be practicing. I have made up in my head, my brain voice has made up what the whole weekend is going to be like. And it's not good. It's not good. And these are things that I need to stop and say. How the fuck do you know that? You don't fucking know that brain voice? Suck it. We're gonna go up there with our minds open and we're gonna breathe and we're gonna breathe like nobody's business and we're gonna fuck that shit up. We're not gonna be able to be near each other because all we will do is fucking giggle. So, I mean, we might have to do some prepping, like on the drive there. Yeah, it's, it should be very, very interesting and I'm gonna do my best from this point forward to tell my brain voice to fuck off and not have any expectations and just go into it with an open mind and petroli. It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be fine. Like it would be, it would be different if it wasn't Dan Harris, I think. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing that, I think that's the thing that pulls me back and makes me feel better about it because Dan Harris is the person who was able to get across to me that we can do this without having that woo woo, uh. Right. We can do this with it without being, um, yeah. Woo woo. Hippy hippie dippy. Hippy dippy. Yeah. Which, I mean, and that's cool. I'm sure we'll have some hippie folks there and do your thing. That's cool. I accept. I accept, but he, I feel like he, um, normalized it. Way better than anybody that I have read about or, or did any research on it.'cause you know, before Dan Harris, I did a shit ton of meditation research, right? Yeah, yeah. Same, same. I had, uh, meditation for Dummies on my shelf for like 10 years. Like, I was really into the yoga and, uh, meditation research, like finding my center. I tried to do, I tried to do meditation on the Peloton app, and that was, that was my extent. And I was like, fuck you. I mean, I was. Very adamant about it. When I was like, I would never be able to do this. This is fucking stupid. Quit telling me to clear my mind. I can't bur bur bur. Okay. And just to, just to put a frame around it, Sarah and I have always talked about when we, when we go to hell or purgatory or whatever thing that happens after this, where you pay for your sins, we are gonna be in glass boxes that are next to each other that are soundproof, where we can see each other and. We can't communicate in any way. Like there's no, like eye raising. Like we just ha I just have to look at her. She can look at me and there will be a parade of people that walk past that are begging for commentary. And that is, that is our version of hell. And now we are taking ourselves off to a meditation retreat where talking is, uh, discouraged, loud, shoulder shaking, laughter, and braying. Like donkeys is, I think, implied that that's, uh, discouraged. And that is generally how we would approach a situation like this is just yes, obnoxious. I mean, it's gonna be uncomfortable for us because this is new and the way we deal with being uncomfortable is being funny and making each other laugh. Yeah. So that's not, it's gonna be. It's gonna be fun. It'll be a great experience and I personally believe that we will walk away from it with a very different perspective. I, I'm really looking forward to it.'cause even if it is, whatever it is, is gonna be something, something to talk about and for sure share. And we will have come out of it learning something. I am a hundred percent sure, 100%. If I, if I go away to meditate and I can't find a way to meditate, or can't find a way to take something out of this that feeds that part of my brain that I think needs to be fed, then, then I think that's also telling, like, you know, maybe meditation retreats aren't for me. Maybe meditation is something slightly different for me, so I'm pumped. I'm so excited that you're gonna do it with me. Like, I don't even know what this, yeah. Dan Harris frames it as it's a meditation party. Meditation party. Woo woo. We're gonna eat granola and uh, we're going to live in a tent. It's gonna be amazing. Yeah. Whatever. Whatever. Hmm. Whatever. Alright, thanks. Whatever happens, happens. Shall we all wrap this up? Wrap it up. Um, thank you so much for listening to me Yammer away. Um, thank you so much for being my sister. I love you and I'm super proud of you and it. Pop, pop it off. That's all I got. Pop it off. All right. Love you.