The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 52: There Are More D*cks

• Gaster Girls • Season 6 • Episode 3

Share episode

Fan Mail Goes Here!!

Christine and Sarah kick off another wild episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone' with a blend of mental health discussions and hilarious personal stories. From navigating the complexities of therapy and mental well-being to sharing side-splitting anecdotes about Sarah’s husband watching Roy Kent’s comedy special, this episode has it all. The duo dives into their unfiltered moments, including an uproarious segment on candy-themed mishaps and a chaotic trip to Philadelphia for a client meeting. Christine reflects on the challenges of living in the present, overcoming stress, and the transformative powers of meditation. They wrap up with funny recollections of their father’s antics and future plans for coaching, making this episode a perfect cocktail of humor and heart.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Sarah:

Welcome to The Mental Funny Bone, a podcast of where mental health meets humor, heart, and a healthy dose of laughter. We're here to talk about the tough stuff, laugh about the awkward stuff, and remind you and ourselves that it's okay to not be okay. So settle in, take a breath, and let's normalize the mess, one ridiculous story and real conversation at a time. I am Sarah,

Chris:

I'm Christine, and my job is to remind you that no one on this podcast is a mental health professional. We are here to entertain you. We are here to be your friend, Uhhuh, and try to kick you in the butt to be a better person. So you should probably talk to a therapist if you're listening to our podcast. Just saying,

Sarah:

there's lots of reasons. Roy Kent actually was just talking about therapy. If you hear my husband laughing in the background, he's watching the Roy Kent standup comedy. His real name is Brett Goldstein. Apparently he has a comedy special. Oh, there he is. So he was just talking about the use of the word cunt. I like, wow, I'm sad, I'm missing it. And then something happened really funny after I closed the door'cause Noah was laughing very hysterically. So now I'm gonna have to rewind and see what I missed.

Chris:

Oh my God, I love it so much. But anyway,

Sarah:

yeah, therapy is great. If you need any resources, check out our show notes. And of course, if you are in need a nine, eight, eight on your mobile telephone, give them a call and they will answer and talk to you or email us because I think that everybody is forgotten about our email. I'm not sure it's working. So my request is for somebody.

Chris:

Other

Sarah:

than myself. Send an email to gasser girls@gmail.com. That would be super, super great.

Chris:

Yeah. it's just girls, like regular girl. there's no l there's an L, there's no UZ,

Sarah:

there's Z,

Chris:

there's no Z. It's just a and a Gasser is just like it sounds, faster with a G. So in, in case you were having trouble, are you gonna crunch that penis? Why? I wish merely a sound medium.'cause people are gonna get to hear you eating that dick candy. And it was

Sarah:

pink.

Chris:

They're gonna miss out on, on. You know you opening up your mouth and showing us the dick. Oh no. The dick fell out of my mouth. Oh no. The

Sarah:

dick fell outta my mouth and now it's on the floor. Don't eat dicks off the floor. Dick stained the floor. What? Candy. Shit. Candy shit's gonna be all over the

Chris:

floor now. Oh, you suck the color off that one too. I

Sarah:

did, and then it flipped outta my mouth.

Chris:

You need bigger

Sarah:

It was. It was a floppy one.

Chris:

If it's falling at it, can we just

Sarah:

talk about the candy dicks for the whole entire episode?'cause I feel like we can end the episode now and I'm happy done. What color should I put in my mouth now? Orange, pink, blue, yellow or green?

Chris:

You have blue. Did you say blue? Because I'm thinking like tiny little stuff. Box penis.

Sarah:

Or blue balls.

Chris:

Okay. That's enough. That's enough. So I, I drove to Philadelphia yesterday and I went to see a client of mine who I had talked to at some point, and she was like, oh yeah, I remember you. You're the let them girl. And I was like.

Sarah:

The girl who hates led them.

Chris:

I don't hate it. I don't hate it, but like at this point, where did you go? What happened? So there I was in Philadelphia talking to this client that I had obviously talked to while we were starting led them and I was all into it. and they were like, oh yeah, I read the book, so thank you for your recommendation. I'm like, You made it further than I did. You made it further than I did. I find her tone condescending and she was like, yeah, I did too, but the book is good.

Sarah:

I was like, yeah, like the overall concept of the book is good,

Chris:

right? Yeah. I was like, that's fine. It's fine. Like I'm glad you got something out of it. Now if you really wanna get into that stuff. I have five other books that you will like better. Yeah. Here's my card. There it is. Also just one other note about that meeting. I walk in and it was, I was hot and I was in the car and I got a late, you're gonna be surprised I got a bit of a late start and

Sarah:

turns out I'm very surprised I was muted'cause I'm trying to chew on this dick.'cause Don don't want to

Chris:

chew on'em.

Sarah:

In my mouth anymore.

Chris:

Understandable.'cause you're married. It's making

Sarah:

me uncomfortable

Chris:

again. I am. Becca is the child of one of my friends from college.

Sarah:

Yeah. But she's 23, 22. Yeah. So I know she doesn't, she's graduating college in eight days.

Chris:

She doesn't understand any of this. Somehow Mom will explain it.

Sarah:

I'm sorry. So you were sweating and late. I feel like this is your right. Normal state of being.

Chris:

right

Sarah:

here. I'm sweating late on.

Chris:

I was like, oh my God. What are we doing? Do we start the meeting Sweaty and I late And, my boy Lucas. Lucas, what's up? he loves it when he is on the podcast.

Sarah:

Oh, that's good. Shout out Lucas.

Chris:

He was like, do you wanna show up early? And, we can go over the slides. And I was like, yeah. Does he not know you? not that

Sarah:

I feel like you guys have known each other for a while.

Chris:

I, it probably should have come up. Hey, I'm gonna be late all the time. Everywhere.

Sarah:

Yeah. I don't know why he thought that. Okay. Go ahead.

Chris:

Anyway, so I'm texting him while I'm on the turnpike and I'm like, Hey, got a little bit of a late start. And then I had to pull over because I had to send an email. And there is one on single spot on the Pennsylvania turnpike that does not have reliable cell service. And it is the spot, like the exit that I pulled off also.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Chris:

There's one gas station and that's it for a thousand miles. Yes. On the turnpike, I was like, ah.

Sarah:

We found this out too.

Chris:

Here's where I die. Here is where all of the True Crime podcast lessons come into play. And someone is gonna say, her smile just lit up a room.

Sarah:

No, no one's ever gonna say that. I.

Chris:

That got late. I'm gonna make sure of

Sarah:

it. Yeah. You know what? If she wouldn't have been light, it didn't light up, she wouldn't be dead up a room

Chris:

because she was never there. Because she wasn't fucking there. She fucking there. Oh God. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm all sweaty and discombobulated and I'm like, I've been in the car for eight hours, like one of my shirts up way high in the back, like trying to wearing dress pants. But I'm wearing like a, is

Sarah:

this dress pants up to here?

Chris:

Dress pants. Like one of the legs is over my shoulder. I'm like, I don't know what's happening. but I'm wearing like a short sleeve shirt. It was hot. And I forgot that I have a giant tattoo on my arm. I Oh yeah, you're new tady.

Sarah:

Can I get a tattoo next week? Can we really get a tattoo next week?

Chris:

Yes. Yes. We'll go to the, we'll go to the same, we'll go to the same place by the coffee shop. We'll get pretentious coffee and then we'll go get pretentious tattoos.

Sarah:

I'm in. Okay, go ahead. Gets

Chris:

jealous back. Sad. Anyway, so I got, she has to graduate. Got this guy. Yeah. She's very focused. Her mom would like her to graduate, I'm sure. Yeah.

Sarah:

sorry, Becca. Next year you can come with us.

Chris:

so I walk in and I forget completely that I am a motorcycle, chick. Now, and I don't put my little sweater on and I'm sitting down and I'm like, I should, what do I just keep my hand under the table and then I look over. You think that this

Sarah:

is a, everybody in that room has tattoos on their body.

Chris:

Because I look over, particularly at my counterpart, like the data management guy on the other side. Yeah. And he's got a, he's got a snake

Sarah:

Yeah.

Chris:

On

Sarah:

his neck, crawling up his neck. Yeah. And

Chris:

I was like, it was like stepbrothers, yeah. He just become best friends. I think we did.

Sarah:

I mean it literally though, there's, you have better, like you are more of a demon if you don't have the tattoos now.

Chris:

What is wrong with you? Why? Why are you just not confident? Like you can't figure out what you like, what's wrong with you? Yeah. So it was like, and it was like 10 minutes of, holy shit, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get fired. And then thinking, which, don't be dumb. Don't be dumb, Christie. Yeah. Don't be dumb. Make friends with the neck. We're gonna start a club now. Yeah. My, my boy Mike, he's got two cats named Luke and Leia.

Sarah:

Oh, wow. I love him.

Chris:

I was like, we are gonna start a club like nerd tattoos.

Sarah:

Snake. He's oh, have a light, have snakes around our,

Chris:

I was like, where he is? A light

Sarah:

saber tattooed. Where's, I don't wanna know. I do not wanna know where he's got the light saber tattooed.

Chris:

He said, I can't show you that one. And I was like, we've talked

Sarah:

enough about the Dicks.

Chris:

Every fucking episode is about some kind of penis,

Sarah:

I feel like. And in a work environment, you should never mention the tattoo that you can't show to someone. I'm just saying because I've actually been in a conversation or been privy to a conversation where things were mentioned that should not have been mentioned by certain people or anybody ever about tattoos at a work dinner. And it ended with, yeah, you can't, I can't show you those ones.

Chris:

You gotta be,

Sarah:

you gotta be careful. No, it's no good. It's no good.

Chris:

Also, the work dinner is hard to manage. Like you have to be social enough to have a drink, but then you can't have nine because you, and that's where I

feel,

Chris:

that's where I

fail.

Chris:

Falling around like it, and yeah, it gets to be a point where like all the boring people leave and then you can have nine drinks. that's, no, I have

Sarah:

nine drinks before they leave. Without a doubt. I think it, it's just, who's the girl that drinks all the Miller Lights? That's what are you?

Chris:

That's me. Are you Canada and you're drinking the Miller Light? Is it import beer there? I bet they tax the fuck. I'm not paying

Sarah:

for it.

Chris:

Fuck yeah. Yeah,

Sarah:

I don't pay for it. I don't fucking care. if anything, it's like I, I should be embarrassed, but I'm not like, I apologize for it. I'm like, I'm sorry. And no, I don't want a glass. I just wanna drink it outta the bottle.

Chris:

Do you have, do you have a dirty can? I could have instead?

Sarah:

It feels wrong if it's in a glass. Like I just can't

Chris:

What kind of glass? Glass? Yeah. It feels wrong.

Sarah:

And I have a lot of trouble still not tapping the top of somebody else's bottle. You know what I speak of?

Chris:

No.

Sarah:

That happened to me at a work event. Yeah. I chipped, I did tooth. Yeah. Yeah. Chipped

Chris:

a tooth. Becca, do you know about this? You can just shake your head. No. Oh.'cause kids are so nice today. This is the problem with this generation. They're just so fucking nice to each other.

Sarah:

This is it.

Chris:

No, Becca. Imagine you're standing at a bar and you're holding a glass bottle of beer just like a normal person taking some sips of it, and your friend. In quotes, my sister comes over and takes her glass beer bottle and bops the top of yours. You know what happens when it, it gets real foamy because you've forced air down into it, and now the other person has to get that thing up to their lips and drink it before it goes everywhere, essentially. I was really good at it. You have forced someone to chug their beer or get it all over them and the people or chip

Sarah:

a tooth. whatever,

Chris:

I was struggling the one day and I tried to get it and I chipped my front tooth.

Sarah:

I'm not sure why you never punched me in the face for some of the shit that I did to you, but I had have told you the story at a work function. It was our Christmas story. We went, did you do bowling? Christmas story? The Christmas story? Yes. Our Christmas vacation. No. Party.

Chris:

Party what?

Sarah:

In my defense, it was at a bowling alley, but I mean it was like the main event. Bowling alley, like fancy bowling. Anyway, I had, I stop it, I had two beers, so I think I was doing something with this hand and I had a beer here, and then I had the neck of another beer here.

Oh God. And

Sarah:

my buddy Rafa came over. He's a young kid. He tapped this one. And as I was going to drink it, my other friend Patrick, who is now like one below the. Biggest guy at our company. I hear Patrick go, no. And I did this and this one just spilled all over my face. I wish if you're not watching YouTube here, like it's hard. But yeah, it just, beer went everywhere.

Chris:

she had them in a claw. Yeah. I was calling, one of them is foamy and the other one isn't, and she just, she went to clock because I'm good at that.

Sarah:

cause I'm good at that.'cause I'm not gonna let it get all over me. I'm good at the target. Yeah. You can't

Chris:

get messy. Can't get messy.

Sarah:

yeah. Instead I just spilled a whole beer on my face and what could I do but laugh and be like, wow, Karma's a bitch. played Rafa well played.

Chris:

Just for all those times you had gone around the bar, it slipped for your eyes. I was also wearing

Sarah:

a t-shirt that said grab your balls

Chris:

at the bowling alley. No, I like it. My team, I like it. Our team, we

Sarah:

all had, I made them for everybody. For our little inside sales team.

Chris:

Oh my God, you're so extra. Yeah. Yep. Yep. What else? What else has been going on? Liv is taking finals. Becky, you can identify. So she has been, she's been giving me like almost hourly updates on how that's going. Yeah, she's doing great. She's I hear music off in the distance and I wanna go see what that's about, but I have a final tomorrow. I'm like, why don't you just go see what the music's about? That's

Sarah:

how it always went bad for me. Actually, I never even tried, I never even tried to not go hear the music.

Chris:

she was like, I'm gonna go back to the room. I'm gonna pick up Mary. and then we're going to, and here's the thing, she's we have the L Doc stuff. And I was like, you have what? She's L Doc. I was like, but LDOC is the last day of Class L Doc, God. Just say last

Sarah:

day of class, for fuck's

Chris:

sake. I was like, oh, is this is just designed to make old people feel bad.

Sarah:

It is. it's like fucking contracts. Lawyers just have to put in all these fucking words that nobody can fucking pronounce so they fucking feel better about themselves.

Chris:

Yeah, I was like, L. Yeah, go have your L Doc celebrations. She's I had two shots and I was hungover the next day. I was like, they were

Sarah:

bad shots.

Chris:

I was like, what were you dread to gasoline? Don't do that. Yeah,

Sarah:

it was a bad,

Chris:

did I tell you about my trip to West Virginia yet?'cause I don't think I did.

Sarah:

I don't.

Chris:

On this podcast, we took the side-by-sides back to West Virginia. So if you remember, decades ago, David and I bought a really expensive toy to run around in the woods. So we went to the Hatfield and McCoy Trail again in, Southern West Virginia. beautiful country. Very picturesque. I bought a hot dog off of a lady in the woods. Who had a shack where she was selling hot dogs. and there was like a wooden wall and a wooden bar, and they were just in the woods and, At the bar, she had a cooler full of, full of beer so you could step on belly up there and, order a hot dog. And they had two kind. They had a New York hot dog that nobody was getting. And then they had a West Virginia hot dog that was like just covered in onions. I don't know why. It seems strange to me. Uhhuh. I feel like I've spent enough time in West Virginia to be like, I don't think that's a West Virginia dog. But

Sarah:

does that mean they, do they all smell like onions? I don't know.

Chris:

I don't know. and the one guy who was with us, has this whispered conversation with said lady in the woods. Okay. And then he leaves and he comes back and, he would, and then he has a whispered conversation with David, and I was like. I'm like, I don't know what happens back there. He's no, come with me. And I was like, do you really want me to come with you if if you're gonna, I don't wanna be there.

No.

Chris:

If she's gonna, if there's gonna be not candy, anyway, so we go with the nice lady to the other trailer that's on the property, and she sells us a mason jar full of moonshine.

Sarah:

Okay. Yeah.

Chris:

I was like, yeah, I feel like this is appropriate

Sarah:

and normal. Okay.

Chris:

And then she was telling us about her dog, and she said, I was like, oh, what's his name? She, he was like a little

Sarah:

moonshine.

Chris:

no. She said his name is DOG. I was like, DOG, is he Japanese? No, he isn't Japanese.

Sarah:

No, he's a dog. the dog's name is

Chris:

DOGD, period. O period. G Period. And the way like the Southern West Virginia Acts accent made it sound like D-O-G-D-O-G-D-O-G.

Sarah:

I was like, that's what it sounds like. Like what the fuck? When you call your dog, DOG. what do you go DOG come here. I'm offended by this dog name.

Chris:

It was marvelous. she had adopted him and there was a whole tragic country song about why she had to adopt him. That I can't remember.'cause I've wiped, I took Kleenex and just wiped that story right from my brain'cause I'm not equipped to handle that. her brother's in the penitentiary for selling the moonshine. I was like, I know that was So she just keeping the

Sarah:

tradition going.

Chris:

someone has to take care of, them. Yeah,

Sarah:

it's way more important to be locking up the moonshiners than. pedophiles and shit was,

Chris:

thats a crime. It was like, like fucking amazing me. Did Rosco pee Coltrane come and arrest him? He's in the penitent with Bon Hog involved. So

Sarah:

he's taking up, he's taking up a space in the jail. Which, from what I know, all of them are overcrowded.

Chris:

No. and we're

Sarah:

letting this guy have that space.

Chris:

'cause he sold, some chocolate flavored, not even alcohol, I'm guessing, because we put that shit in the freezer and it froze. I was like, I feel like DOG ripped me off. I feel like someone, yeah,

Sarah:

that shit shouldn't freeze.

Chris:

I'm like, it tastes like, creamsicle gasoline. And I don't know why it would freeze, because also I, so maybe

Sarah:

that's why he's in jail.'cause he is not, because he is selling people gasoline, but he's bad at it. that's what it is.

Chris:

Like I'm fairly certain we lost a few brain cells on that whole trip.

Sarah:

Actually. Homicide,

Chris:

it's. Six years though, so it seems like a bargain. Shh.

Sarah:

O-G-D-O-G-I

Chris:

am constantly surprised by the difference in accents. Like when I talk Oh yeah. And when somebody from another state talks, I was like, I feel, or

Sarah:

a real yer.

Chris:

Same. Same. I'm like, wow. Is it even hi Rosemary, nice to see you on the podcast. Yeah. So that was eye-opening. I was, and then we were with a group of people and the group of people included two Britney's. Two Britney's, and the Britney's had, how did they

Sarah:

end? What did their names end with?

Chris:

I did ask, I feel like that's

Sarah:

how you have to tell'em apart.

Chris:

No, no one had blonde hair. Is it I, is it

Sarah:

two E's? Is it a y? Is it an dark hair? It, ie.

Chris:

1 1, 1 was called Sippy Cup. That was her nickname, sippy Cup. loved them. They were so much fun and a completely different generation of people, like completely different generation of people. Like they show up and I'm like a passenger princess in the side by side. Like I just sit there and somebody fetches me drinks and snacks. That's really all I'm looking for. Somebody makes sure I don't get too muddy, but muddy enough to look like I'm having fun, but not, so yeah, there's a balance. Uncomfortable. There's a balance. somebody takes care of me in the side by side. These two young ladies showed up in their own side by side and it is the exact same hot pink color as my fingernails.

Sarah:

I would love that.

Chris:

I know. I'm so jealous. I was like, you know who would really

Sarah:

love that, Heather?

Chris:

Yes. I thought of her immediately. I thought of her immediate. She would fucking immediately

Sarah:

dig the shit outta that

Chris:

Sarah's friend Heather. Yeah. She's like a, she's a country girl.

Sarah:

She loves the outdoor lot stuff. They do the side by side stuff and she loves, pink,

Chris:

right? they took the metal parts and they took them to the, to the metal. Painting guy. The Yeah. the powder coat. They powder coated it. Powder coat is what it's called. And then the younger Britney sippy cup, if you will, brings out a beer bong. And I was like, I'm on the wrong trip. No, thank you. I made a wrong turn. You want one? I was like, no, I'm good. They're like, we're just gonna have two before we get back in the buggy. I'm like, you have to still drive it.

Sarah:

that's bad for you.

Chris:

Because it's pink. and I have never, I have, but I've always surprised by the fact that dudes will react the same way to a pretty girl in an unexpected situation by nearly ripping their heads off, like trying to turn their head to look like you're going down the trail. It's usually and I'm wearing like a winter coat. It's, and the one, it's chili, like the one Brittany has on just a jog, a bra and a flannel. I was like, yeah. Again, different generation. Rocket. If you got it, I'm all for it. I'm cold. So every guy that would drive past and it's 98% guys, everybody would slow down and look and slow down and look and yeah, I was like, and the one Brittany was like, I'm not trying to get the attention and I don't like it. I was like, you're a blonde girl in a hot pink, razor.

Sarah:

Yeah, you know what, Brittany? Suck a dick.

Chris:

I was like, you, I bet you're

Sarah:

wonderful, but you're fucking lying. Please don't lie. I was like,

Chris:

I love the attention. And if I was 20 years younger, I would definitely do exactly that.

Sarah:

Yeah. I.

Chris:

I'm like, we're all friends here. It's cool.

Sarah:

It's fine. But

Chris:

yeah, I was like, that guy almost fell off a whole thing. Yeah. that pause was because I raised my arm up and saw a bat wing like I used to fight with on my grandmother.

Sarah:

You remember what bat wings are, right? We talked, I know we talked about this on an episode. Jesus,

Chris:

I totally forgot about bat wings.

Sarah:

Yeah. it's

Chris:

when your, your nut sack gets sweaty.

Sarah:

not yours. Up to the side of your leg.

Chris:

Not yours. Not yours. You don't,

Sarah:

you gotta stretch it. You gotta stretch out to get rid of it. To get'em un get'em separated and like bat wings. Look at Becca's face. Yeah.

Chris:

I can't believe we, like Boise either. Surprises me every dime. Shit. All right. So that was my West Virginia story. Like still just such good, nice people. And it was so fun and. I am constantly surprised by the difference in median income in different places in the country. They're the, I don't know, I don't know what they do for work. I, coal mines are still functioning, but like having the side-by-side and having us come down there and buy things is what runs their economy. It was, I don't know, part of it was sad. I'm like, these people, this is their whole. They've never been anywhere. No one new who moves here. It's just them and their brother who's independent and they don't know anything.

Sarah:

They don't know anything more and they love it, maybe, or maybe they just, I don't know. They just don't have the money to do anything else, and that's just the way it is. And I,

Chris:

we were talking to the one guy and they like taxed the shit on, he rented us the house and he Sold us our little pass. You have to have a pass to go ride the side by side on the trail. And, he said for every, Every dollar that he collects in rent or whatever, he has to pay a tax on that.'cause it's for recreation. so he ends up paying like 12 cents, like a 12% tax on every dollar. And I would think if you're paying that much money in taxes, that there would be like newer schools or like playgrounds would be

Sarah:

nicer things.

Chris:

Like maybe a church that had a roof like. And yeah, everything is just falling in. It would be a great place to go and take pictures.

Sarah:

maybe Elon should go there and figure out where all the money's going and fix it.

Chris:

Something that's, that'll help. interesting trip. Loved it. Really enjoyed that. That was, it was fun. And, good. Rudy commented on my picture and I have to get back to him'cause we might be going side by siding and Jeeping together. Nice. We'll see. there's a, there's a forest festival or forest fairy festival. I want it to be a forest fairy festival so much, but I think it's just a forest. Forest. I don't think it's even a fair, I think it's just a, it's just a ride through the woods.

Sarah:

It's just people going into the woods.

Chris:

Yep. All right. I think that's excellent. That's all the fun news I have. Do you have other fun news? Did you do fun things?

Sarah:

We went to Columbus, Ohio for a soccer tournament.

Chris:

Did you go to, did you go to the Nike Cup?

Sarah:

Yes.

Chris:

Were you in Dublin, Ohio? Yes. Yeah. I sent you guys a

Sarah:

picture. I sent a picture on our way there and I said, on our way, something like that. And I said, Liv, I think this is the tournament where you pulled that girl's ponytail. Yeah, and it definitely was. We weren't at that field, but I recognized the field like we were. We luckily only had to go one place for his games. But yeah, it was fun. It was fun. We went to Dave and Buster's on Saturday to celebrate a couple of the boys their birthdays. Yay. So we went to Dave and Busters and yeah, I got drunk.

Chris:

it's a soccer tournament. Were you in the lobby? What? What hotel did you stay in? Here's,

Sarah:

I don't even know. I have so many

Chris:

questions.

Sarah:

I don't even know. It was right by Bob Evans.'cause all I wanted on Saturday morning was Bob Evans sausage gravy. So the last tournament we went to in December, I didn't take beer'cause I thought we'll just buy beer. And then it just didn't work out. We didn't get beer and then people weren't in our hotel, which. Nobody did anything. So this time I was not going to let that happen.

Chris:

Oh no.

Sarah:

I packed enough beer for a week, like on our way there. I looked at no, and I was like, I think I packed too much beer. I'm pretty sure like I packed 24 beers for each of us. I'm not sure. And we weren't getting there Friday until 10:00 PM So it's not like we were drinking Friday and then Saturday we were going to Dave and Busters. if anything, we were gonna drink two beers at the hotel, but I'll be damned, we had. We were ready, I think. I think combine, we drank maybe five beers.

Chris:

Is it like when we went to the Hootie and the Blowfish concert and I all of a sudden thought I needed a case of beer just for myself?

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, pretty much. I was like, I don't know why, but now we have to pack that cooler back up.

Chris:

Now I have to lift up this heavy as cooler. Damnit. Put it back in the truck. We tailgated for 15 minutes.

Sarah:

Yeah. I was like, ridiculous.

Chris:

Am I gonna drink a beer a minute? I might. Maybe never know. And then I'll have nine leftover. Yeah. Anyway, so yes. I mean I have been with David where he is packed a little mini cooler to take to the field.

Sarah:

Yeah. Our games, our game was very, both games, we had 8:00 AM games both days.

Chris:

Cute that you think that would stop him?

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah, I did. I drink water that early in the morning. Call me crazy.

Chris:

you do you.

Sarah:

yeah. So it was fun. One scored a goal. They didn't win. They won two games, lost one. And

Chris:

that's really, they don't

Sarah:

have any, I love his team. Team though. Did, because.

Chris:

When did they lose? did they go into, did they go into like Saturday? were the parents doing the tournament math at the bar or at David Buster's? Were they like, okay, if, this is why I love,

Sarah:

this is why I love our parents.'cause no one gives a fuck because everyone's like me and nobody gives a shit and nobody else. There's nobody coming hard on your back. It's great. Nobody's screaming or yelling.

Chris:

I feel like you need to explain it to Becca. The

Sarah:

tournament we were talking about where Liv pulled the girl's hair, I drove out to, to hang out with them and watch Liv play and we're standing and the parents are loud and they're yelling and there's a ball coming down the field and there the girls. Running after it. And they wanted to let her know that there was someone, somebody coming up behind her or someone running to her, and so they were yelling, coming hard on your back,

Chris:

coming hard, Lauren on your back,

Sarah:

coming hard on your back.

Chris:

And Becca, it was before I was like friends with any of the moms, and I was like, Yeah. And then, and then finally like a year and a half later, I was like, Kelly, I don't think you should say it like that. Yeah. Because at first I thought she was doing it on purpose, and I was like, I love her. And then I realized she didn't. She didn't know. No, she didn't know. She didn't, every time she would say it. I would giggle though.

Sarah:

yeah, giggle. yeah, so I like our parents because everybody is just chill. I think in order to get to the playoffs they needed to 15 goals. Oh, and the other, one of the other teams had to lose something like that. So it was something outrageous, so it didn't really matter. And we all just, we all, me and my mom friend Kristen, we talked about every time a goal was scored, we were like, all right, there's only 72 left. We only need 72 goals sometimes. At one point it looked like our boys thought that they might have a chance because the other team was playing on the field next to us, the one that we needed to lose, and I looked over and all of our subs were like mixed in with that team's bench and they were watching that game. I.

Chris:

You guys. I was like, look at our boys. What? Look at those. What are they doing?

Sarah:

But yeah. But yeah, it was a good time. It was a good time. I have an aversion to Noah's driving well, turns out well. That

Chris:

two hour trip to Columbus must have been fun. Does he not? Is it,'cause he doesn't turn his neck anymore.

Sarah:

Yeah. that kind of makes things weird. But he likes to This is the one car and this is him and we're going 80. I know he can hear me right now talking about it and he's gonna listen to this, but it's I literally like, and then I have to say things and then I try to drive and he won't let me. And I know I'm a better driver.

Chris:

We always know we're a better driver. I,

Sarah:

yeah, but you legitimately are a bad driver.

Chris:

So is David.

Sarah:

it's perfect,

Chris:

but it's, yeah.

Sarah:

You are a terrible fucking driver. I

Chris:

have attention deficit problems.

Sarah:

You. You're just a terrible driver. It has nothing to do with attention deficit when there's a large fucking rock and you run into it like, I

Chris:

didn't hit it. I just keep running Close. Doesn't have close. That's

Sarah:

not, no.

Chris:

Listen, we have a book to talk about. We have a, I know we are avoiding it. I know you're trying to get out of it. You

Sarah:

are the one

Chris:

who's

Sarah:

jawing.

Chris:

I forgot I did so much fun stuff. Alright, we're gonna get, we're gonna get to the book. Anything else? Anything?

Sarah:

Yeah. I wanna tell a quick, story about our father.

Chris:

Okay. Yeah.

Sarah:

I'm in. Okay. It's just a funny little story about when we lived in Arizona and mommy and daddy came out to visit and we were celebrating your first anniversary with your first husband. Oh, yes. And we had it in the little, it was the apartment common. What do you in the, boathouse, what's the name of it? Boathouse Courthouse. Courthouse Boathouse. No, it's not the Courthouse Fest Festival House. I don't know,

Chris:

like the common area. I forget what it's

Sarah:

called. Yeah, exact. So anyway, we rented that little place or the party room use if you want the party room. Party room. And daddy, we're all having some drinks. Daddy goes into the bathroom, which is like a public restroom and he comes out and I could hear him and he's saying, Hey Nita. Do you see this fancy bathroom? They have bibs in here and he had the toilet cover thing. Toilet seat cover over his

Chris:

right. All my friends like, I'm a grownup. I'm a grownup.

Sarah:

But immediately, I think everybody loved Daddy before that, but that was like new people. It was the introduction to Jumbo and it was like, yeah, that's my dot. And I think he would wore around for a while until. Mommy ripped it off his neck. Probably Jumbo. Jumbo.

Chris:

And everyone freaking loves him. All the time. I don't know, like

Sarah:

I thought it was really fucking funny.

Chris:

It is hilarious. And you got to,'cause they were new

Sarah:

then. Like it's not like they They were everywhere. So I know these are something that have been around your whole life. For us, the toilet seat covers were not around our whole lives. Like we were expected to just line the seat with toilet paper. that's what you did.

Chris:

Or hover.

Sarah:

I don't hover well. But anyway, so yeah. So they were new at the time and my dad thought it was, and I can, my favorite part of this story is thinking about him in the bathroom. I. Thinking about how he is gonna do it. Like planning his joke Oh my God. And laughing at himself.'cause I know he did a lot of laughing at himself in the bathroom before he came out. Had I could hear him in his head being like, oh, I'm gonna go out and yell for Nita and show her this bib

Chris:

he had and he had to try it on and see how it fits.

Sarah:

100%. I could see my pulling it back to make sure it flas properly

Chris:

in the mirror. Dear sweet baby Jesus in heaven.

Sarah:

Yeah. So I said it was a quick story, but that was, I, that's what I thought of. I don't even know what made me think of it. Maybe it was my use of public restrooms this past weekend. But yeah, so it never ceases to amaze me.

Chris:

It goes along with the time that your mom and dad came down to Bethany to, to see me play during homecoming. So it's homecoming and we have a soccer game, and the plan was for Nita and Gemma to come down, watch the game. give me a high five and then, head on back. but it's homecoming and there's a party happening. There's a tailgating going on after the soccer game. So I bebop up there and Mita and Jumbo are like, hey. And for some reason we were at the Zeta Tent and the Zetas love jumbo.

Sarah:

Yeah. Absolutely. And

Chris:

like they adopted him like a puppy. And like need had to go to work, I think. And my game was at like 11 o'clock in the morning, so they stay for most of the football game that started at one. We go and get a bite to eat at the, at Bubba's bison in, we take along a bunch of Sigma news. Like for some reason Jonathan was there. And I was gonna say,

Sarah:

I've heard this story when Jonathan was around.

Chris:

And like my dad's wearing a hat. The Sigma News for some reason have hats, but they're now, they're trading like I am completely superfluous here. No one gives a shit if I am there or not. Like your mom doesn't care if I'm there? Nope. The Sigma News don't. The only people that are like hanging out are jumbo and this group of like 20 something year old boys. And then we go back up Tosta. not in a, like we're gonna hit on you kind of way, but I got it. I got it. This is an elder statesman that we have to learn from and he's telling he That reminds

Sarah:

me, we have to dumb do an update on the Pope.

Chris:

Go ahead. I haven't been keeping up. I feel like there was a lump. Okay, so jumbo. Nita has to call off work'cause at this point Jumbo is into it. Like he is. He is at the Zeta house and someone asked him if he wants to buck up for a keg. And Jumbo is no need to worry, ladies. I got it covered. Jumbo buys the cake. So now he's bought the cake. He can't very well leave.

Sarah:

No, Nope. I'm

Chris:

taught like I'm ready to go to bed. Like I'm ready to be done with Nita and Jumbo at my sorority, frankly, because I am going to a fraternity and I'm don't wanna hang out at Zeta. But now I have to because my dad's bucked up. He just left his

Sarah:

ass after.

Chris:

After that, people are like, Hey, is your dad coming down? No.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Chris:

Gaster,

Sarah:

is your dad gonna be here?

Chris:

I'm here. And they're like, yeah. is your dad coming? God damnit. Yeah. More popular than me at all of my, on all,

Sarah:

they came to every one of our soccer games. It's slippery rock. the away ones too, like hours away, overnight trips. And they were like the life of the party. And before every trip they, oh, are your parents coming? Will your parents be there? Like they would meet us in the lobby. We're getting on the bus. Mommy and daddy are getting in their car.

Chris:

follow. Adorable.

Sarah:

Yeah, adorable. Wouldn't have any other way. There were cakes there though. We didn't have any cakes there.

Chris:

you guys were a lot

Sarah:

more serious about things. Slippery rock and all. Yeah, and we were in a hotel and Right. I was 18. Anyway, let's talk about this fucking book. You talk about the book. I'll just sit here and make snide comments.

Chris:

I know we said we were gonna talk about just chapter two this week, but we are, yeah, we did chapter one

Sarah:

and two last week.

Chris:

We did chapter two. Oh, we were gonna do three and four. Here's the thing we're gonna talk about all the part one, like we're gonna knock that out. Yeah. Because it is a, is a. How do you say it scientifically? A bit fucking repetitive.

yeah,

Chris:

like your brain, you imagining doing things is equivalent to actually doing them. there is scientific research, that talks about the power of visualizing. and there God bless you. Excuse me. there's some, there are some good, There are some good scientific papers that will back that up. so if you visualize yourself playing, at a high level, then you are more likely to play at a high level. So the book talks about overcoming, overcoming your environment, your. Your body, the overcoming time, these are the things that are keeping you from focusing on that one string out in the quantum, space that is your best life. So the illusion that everything has to happen with your body, the illusion that your. Your body has to be the one that controls everything. When in reality what happens is your brain releases chemicals, your body reacts to those chemicals, your body gets to be dependent on those chemicals, and pretty soon you're just stuck in the same shit you've been doing because you dumb ass body is like a drug addict who can't get out of its own way. Even though you can see the string out there You can see a possible future where your life isn't the same as it's always been, and it's possible to change that, but you can't continue to live in that same body with those same chemicals and that same dependency. There's also a sticky note.

Sarah:

It was the one thing I like that I read to change is to think greater than we feel.

Chris:

And that's the whole point of part one is to say that the reason you're stuck is because of the, the reaction between your brain, the chemicals, and the way your body reacts to the chemicals that get released in your brain and the way that those chemicals inside your body impact your cells. And he gets into like genetic expression. And I thought that was a cool discussion. Because it isn't so much about curing cancer. It is creating a. For me, it's not about curing cancer, like he's convinced that you can do it if you're in the rate, if you're dedicated enough. But, a tad skeptical. What you can do is create a healthy environment inside of your body, one that isn't, constantly flooded with stress chemicals, which kind of force your genes to express disease. Like a lot of disease states are caused by emotional reactions in the body. Those emotional reactions are triggered by hormones and flooding your body with, cortisol, the stress hormone isn't good for it. So I can buy into a healthier lifestyle based on less stress. I have trouble buying into a healthier lifestyle based on genetic expression of, particular genes. I'm sure there's some scientific basis to it, but it sounds like a lot of, hocus pocus to. I'm still in. I'm on board. Uhhuh, I'm all for creating a healthier environment inside one that isn't stressed out all the goddamn time.

Sarah:

Yeah, I'm digging it. I'm digging it just like I've dug the other books, like I like the concept of it. it's a hundred and some pages so far that could have been, I'm just that.

Chris:

Five sentences. Right?

Sarah:

And that's what irritated with like I am annoyed is it mind or body? But the body is the mind. The mind is the body. Mind is

Chris:

body. The chemicals are chemicals. And you're addicted to them because you can't do anything and you're repeating the house

Sarah:

because you just keep doing the same shit and you do the same shit and you do the same shit. You'll always feel guilty because you've always felt guilty.'cause you've lived 20 years feeling guilty. You always feel like you're dumb because you've lived 47 years feeling like you're dumb. These are the things that happen.

Chris:

even my boy Dr. Joe gets into, we're gonna talk about a chicken and egg kind of thing. as we visualize what we want to be, as we visualize the things that we want our life to be, we're going to start experiencing that in our brains, which is equivalent to actually experiencing that success. And then my question is, if I'm constantly looking to what's going to be, isn't that the same thing as being focused on the future? Instead of living in the moment where all things are possible, am I not just focused on the stuff I want to happen now. So I'm curious about how I maintain a present while focusing on the future. And the kind of thing that I came to is I don't necessarily need to focus on the future, I just need to understand. I don't wanna keep doing that. Like I don't wanna keep waking order to a bitter, angry person

Sarah:

in order to get to the future. You need to focus on your present. And I feel like that's what the part of that's the big part of it. That's the meditation, that's how he was talking about the conscience and the sub, the con. Yeah. Subconscious conscious and conscious doesn't sound right anyway, conscious. like con shall so we have 5%, only 5% of our thoughts is that what it is? Our conscious. And then 95% of it is just what we've trained ourselves in our unconscious state to think and feel. And that's where the meditation comes from, is that's where we're trying to pull out. The conscious, we're trying to take that 5% and make it more and battle against that 95%. And that's being in the moment. And the more we can do that, the more we can look to the future and try to be that person. We can't do that letting the 95% of the unconsciousness rule our lives. So we need to use the meditation to build up the consciousness. Yes,

Chris:

exactly.

Sarah:

1700 pages.

Chris:

it's a long, it's a long book. It's a long book. Yeah. We're getting into the part where we can stop thinking about the body and the, we're getting into the good part where I get a little bit body in the mind. Money.

Sarah:

Money in my mind. Money on my mind. That's what it was. I was trying to think why, when I say body is the mind is the body. I was trying to think of what song that was. Snoop. That's what it was.

Chris:

That's what it was. Okay. And I think it goes back to being able to recognize a thought. And once you can recognize a thought, then you can say, oh, that's a past thought. That is just a, yeah. Thank you for reminding me that I would really like to eat a snack now.'cause that's always what I've done when I'm stressed. And, thank you brain for trying to pull me back into the walking like ghost-like through my life of getting up, brushing my teeth, sitting down at the computer. Thank you meditation for giving me that. One second pause where I can go like, Nope, I'm sorry. we're not that person anymore. And I think he even talked in one of the chapters about being, learning how to drive. And I think we, I was like, oh my God. Yeah. We're me and Dr. Joe. We are on the, we're on the same wavelength. Yeah. same process. Like the more that we can work on being here now, the more we can recognize the bad things from before and the more we can channel, the energy and the things that we. Would like to happen into going over positive things in our head.

Sarah:

And I do would like to say how crazy I think it is that a year ago before I did any meditation whatsoever,'cause I'm still not like professional. I'm a daily ish right? Meditator. But just the little I've done and the little I know about it, I'm still amazed that's what it took to get me to realize. About like the thoughts that were going on and the fact that I was constantly living in the past or in the future and not really focusing at all on the present and what was going on. It's still amazing to me. Like 46 years of my life, I never realized how this was working.

Chris:

I know. It's wild. It is wild. On the drive back listening to this book and he starts talking about, And this is in part two, so I'll just give you a little bit of a preview. He starts talking about how you are constantly in survival mode. Like you're either stressed out about shit that happened in the past, or you're so super worried about what's gonna happen in the future, right? And a lot of it resonated. I. So much like I got a little emotional on the car ride home because I constantly live in a state of I gotta do X, Y, and Z, or something's gonna get fucked up. I gotta like all of my, like my thoughts don't tend to go backwards. They tend to go so much. Forward, I'm gonna look like an idiot. I'm gonna, I just, I gotta get 18 things done and if I don't, then something bad's gonna happen. all of my thoughts are about shit that's gonna happen in the future and it's gonna be fine again, if you mix us together,

Sarah:

we would just make a whole person, I think'cause most of mine are, if I wouldn't have fucking done that, wonder where I'd be now. If we wouldn't have sold that house, wonder how much money we would've now. Nope. We wouldn't have built this house, we wouldn't be in this predicament. Now

Chris:

I'm like, what happens if I send that email and everyone finds out I'm an idiot? yeah, I hit send and

Sarah:

then

Chris:

do that. Like all of my stress is just preventative. I'm like, I gotta, Oh my God. It's gonna be, it's gonna be a bit, some something. So it's gonna be like, interesting to, to walk the line between living so much in the future and pulling that back to the right now without Thinking, alright, if I'm gonna be like somebody, and he talks a lot about being somebody existing in some time doing something and he's you have to focus on being nobody. I was like, I don't think I can. I like being be nobody. don't think I can be nobody. He's he doesn't mean it like that. What he means is somebody, and I'm like, what a, what am I if I'm not somebody? This is a green dick. Those are just les. it has

Sarah:

baby powder in between its balls.

Chris:

Of course it does.'cause that prevents, bat wings chafing. We talked about that. Go ahead. Anyway, that was it. I am gonna be, I'm gonna be super interested to see how much of future, I'm gonna be able to let go and just be like, all right, live here. Think about the things that need to be done, get that stuff done. Don't worry, so much about what. What's going to happen in tomorrow? Don't worry so much about how somebody is gonna judge your email.

Sarah:

Yeah, and I definitely do worry about the future as well. I worry about the past too, but Yeah. But

Chris:

Key takeaways. Key takeaways. Your, again, it goes back to your thoughts are powerful. Like when you're thinking about having those emotions, when you're remembering what it was like to get up in front of everyone and suck. When you're thinking about what it's like to send an email and have people respond poorly to it, then you are, you're creating that cycle again. So instead of thinking about that, let's train ourselves to have a heartbeat and being like, Hey, thought thank you. Off you go. I'm not gonna get sucked into that whole thing. You're not your environment. So again, we come back to you're not the, outer world. so you are not a constant reaction to things that are happening around you all the time. So I think what he is getting at there is that, stuff's gonna happen and you're gonna have to take your little heartbeat and be like, oh, okay. I have choices about how I react and if I'm living in the present, then I can pick it and I don't have to just do the thing that I would have always done. I get to choose my string now. So that's cool. Your body memorizes your emotions again, the body is the mind money on my mind. And time is not linear in transformation is the one where I'm like, yeah, sure. Feels linear. The future exists as a possibility in the now. So the, it's like having all of your strings out there and focusing your energy on one, because that's how quantum mechanics works. So meditation is the access point. So next week we're gonna start talking about part two and we're gonna start talking about the fight or flight and how to get ourselves out of survival mode.'cause that's really where you're gonna. Find the way to not live in the body time or environment. That's where you're gonna be able to find, that zen state, the flow as he calls it.

Sarah:

Can you not listen to that and we can listen to the next part of this together on our trip down to Raleigh next week.

Chris:

Yes. And we can

Sarah:

laugh and make fun of it together.

Chris:

That would be amazing.

Sarah:

I'm,

Chris:

yes, I'm in a hundred percent. I love it. So next

Sarah:

week we'll be recording from the road.

Chris:

on the road again.

Sarah:

Just can't wait to get on the

Chris:

road again. Road again. I'm already planning where we're eating.

Sarah:

When are we? I'll, we can talk about that when we're not recording. okay. I think that's it. Are you done?

Chris:

Yeah, I think those are Okay. That's, that's what I learned on, eight hours of audio listening is that, I like it. Your thoughts are powerful.

Sarah:

I did forget to mention little thing, I did little something I did. I purchased my first how to become a coach lesson course.

Chris:

Oh my God. We're gonna be so rich. Yeah. I'm, that's so nice. I'm so glad that you're taking a step in a direction that could be positive for you. Yeah. So I'm, please make money so we can all quit our jobs.

Sarah:

Taking a coaching course, it's like I'm not getting certified.'cause to get certified it costs like a lot, like I have to make money before I can get certified, so this was a lot cheaper.

Chris:

Listen, we'll get some recent college grads and coach them.

Sarah:

The good news is she basically said right off the bat, listen, I wasted so much money getting certified and doing all this shit and it wasn't necessary. And I love the fact that you say, we'll get recent grads, because I feel like that's what I want to do. I want to coach like that age group because I feel like that's where I did the most damage in my life. And I feel like that's where, I could have used a little bit of help.

Chris:

We'll just focus on that group. We'll build you up a following. Yeah,

Sarah:

so anyway, so there's that. And yeah, next week we'll be recording from the road, so I'm sure we will have some stories. We'll tell you about all the food that we're eating. Yeah. Alright. We don't have a sign off yet, so love you. Bye.

Chris:

stay. Stay. Alright.

Sarah:

Are you okay? Jesus.

Chris:

Shut up, Sarah.

Sarah:

All right. love you. Bye. That's how we

Chris:

sign off. I just sniffle.

Sarah:

Bye fuckers.

Chris:

Love you. Bye.

Sarah:

Love you, bye.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Christine Kanalis

Host
Head Shot

Sarah Leibhart

Host