The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 47: Up the Blue

• Gaster Girls • Season 5 • Episode 3

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In this episode of The Mental Funny Bone, hosts Sarah and Christine dive into the show's introductory mission of creating a safe and entertaining space for mental health discussions. They humorously recall personal stories including past episodes, updates on the Pope, experiences at the Blue Diamond Bar and Grill, college St. Patrick's Day traditions, and their upcoming show plans. The episode further explores chapters five and six from Mel Robbins' book on handling negative thoughts people may have about you, and strategies for loving difficult people by understanding their perspectives. Christine reflects on a challenging workday and how the podcast's discussions offer practical insights. The episode wraps with details about an upcoming interview with Sam and the anniversary party plans for listeners.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Sarah:

Welcome to The Mental Funny Bone, a podcast where we strive to create a safe and entertaining space where listeners can explore mental health topics, find solace, and enjoy laughter. The podcast aims to destigmatize mental health discussions and empower individuals to approach their own wellbeing with humor and openness. I am

Chris:

Sarah and I'm Christine, and neither of us are mental health professionals. We, we simply enjoy a life where. We can talk openly and freely about our mental health and and wellness journeys. So we welcome you to that. And if you do need professional mental health advice, we recommend that you check out our show notes. For links that can help you find the right mental health professional for you.

Becca:

Wow.

Sarah:

That might've been it. That might've been it. We might just need to pluck that from this outside of me saying, weirdly I am Sarah. Outside of that,

Chris:

everything else was great. Nailed the intro. I'm so sad that I've wasted that title on another episode.'cause now we really have nailed the intro.

Sarah:

Yeah. A year. That was great. That was great. A year into it. Christina, I think that you need to go back and write down everything you just said. I can't even remember it. My head hurts. No, that's why we record shit. So you could listen to it and write things down. Oh,

Chris:

oh yeah. Oh,

Sarah:

that's so convenient. That's so convenient. And that's always why I say when we start meetings is somebody recording this?'cause I will not remember. I will be distracted.

Chris:

Hilarious.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. So there you have it. Um, I feel like after last week we should update everybody on the Pope's status.

Chris:

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Are you aware of the pope status? Yeah, he is doing much better. Uh, okay. He, um, he was seen, uh, going to mass.

Sarah:

I didn't notice. I believe I'm actually just reading something about it

Chris:

now. No, I watched the news every night so I can see the weather. I heard outside the, this

Sarah:

morning about it. So I thought that it was good news, which is why I wanted to do this. Um,

Chris:

and again, I'm a little disappointed. I mean, I like that the Pope is doing better. That's nice. But I also also, well, you just wanna see the

Sarah:

smoke come out of the building. Just one of, I

Chris:

also really, I really like when we elect a new pope. Like it's one of my favorite Catholic things, like fish fries and new popes. That's what I'm in it for.

Sarah:

Well, um, he's, he is using high flow oxygen therapy with nasal cano can canula, C-A-N-N-U-L-A-E. How do you say that?

Chris:

Cans canal.

Sarah:

Okay. Less frequently. So that's good.

Chris:

You know what that is, right? That's the things they stick up as nose like

Sarah:

this is it the little oxygen things? Yeah. I used to wake up with those around my neck when we would go out down to Sports Rock in the strip district.'cause they had oxygen bars back in the day where you paid somebody money to sit there. They would breathe, give you your little tubes, and you could plug them into different types of oxygen that.

Chris:

I remember

Sarah:

this. Swear to God. Swear to God. Right. Okay, Becca. So anyway, I

Chris:

feel bad that you didn't grow up in this time. Becca, the intern. Everyone. Yeah.

Sarah:

The one time I woke up in my tiny little shady side apartment. In the hallway. Do you remember that hallway? It was very curved and I was like snuggling against the curve in the wall. And I had on, I had on that nose that that. Can thing up my nose from the bar. I was like, ooh. Hmm. Interesting.

Chris:

It seems like something that you would just wear around after too. Like you would go to another bar later. Oh sure. And you would just have the

Sarah:

fuck

Chris:

things up your nose. Be like, look how cool I am. YI was at the oxygen bar

Sarah:

everywhere I went. That shit was up my nose for sure. Mm-hmm. Wow.

Chris:

Wow. Ridiculous. I had already had children at this point. A child. Yeah. Yes.

Sarah:

Um, but yeah, so it seems the pope's doing better. Um, he's, he has some swelling in his hand, seen in a photo taken and published yesterday. The fuck

Chris:

kind of paparazzi is the Pope getting that are like, get a picture of his hand, get a picture of his hand,$10,000 for a picture of the pope's hand?

Sarah:

Well, the good news is it's just reduced, uh, or it's due to reduced mobility and it's improving today. So are they taking, like, are they taking time lapsed?

Chris:

Hand shot? Obviously, obviously someone is getting that picture and they're like, alright, we paid$10,000 for this picture. Let's compare it to last year's hand and see what's up with that hand. Maybe the pope is a hand model. You know, uncle Paul used to be a hand model. Yeah, I do remember that. Thank you. Your dad and Uncle Paul also invented a, uh, a snack, which was a peanut wrapped in a pretzel. Like a lot of shit went down. They didn't have an oxygen bar, so they didn't get to have as much fun. They just put peanuts in pretzels, which I'm trying to imagine. Did they just eat the peanut and the pretzels together? Yes. I think that's what happened. They were at the Blue Diamond and mm-hmm. Somebody like the idea of eating food at the blue Diamond? It's, yeah.

Sarah:

If, eh, mm-hmm.

Chris:

Like anybody local, uh, having been to the Blue Diamond will remember the men's restroom had a carpet.

Sarah:

I was just gonna say there was a carpet in the bathroom. I mean, the, it was just carpeted flooring, wasn't it? Carpeted floor in the men's room. In a public men's room.

Chris:

I hate to make the vomit noises because you're so much better at it. But, but I mean, thi this was a, this was a. No, I mean it was one of my favorite favorite. I feel like you places to go. I feel like you

Sarah:

make, you make good vomit noises,

Chris:

but yeah, appreciate that. Oh, thank you. I appreci the appreci blue diamond. Was it,

Sarah:

man, the blue. I loved going to the blue diamond mostly because mommy and daddy would pay for all my beers while I was there, right. That was the advantage. And I would just sit at the little machine and play the block game and smoke cigarettes and drink beer. And mommy would make me go to the bathroom with her a couple times so she could sneak my cigarettes.

Chris:

I love your mother. I love your mother

Sarah:

the best. She's the fucking best.

Chris:

I think we, I think we went to the blue diamond the night before my wedding, like after the rehearsal dinner. We were at the blue diamond.

Sarah:

Yep. I do, I I wasn't allowed to drink

Chris:

this. I wonder because you were 20 did drink. Um, this has, I lost 20. This is our gastro story of the week. Everyone, welcome to the, to the podcast. Oh, okay. These are, the gastro story of the week is now about the blue diamond, because this is much more fun than the topic I had laid out. So, I mean, we can do both of

Sarah:

em, but I do love, I love the blue diamond. It's where I went for my 21st birthday with

Chris:

my mom and dad. I mean, I think at one point the bartender at the Blue Diamond tried to fix up my friend Denise, uh, Denise, uh, f at the time. But Denise, you now. Yeah. Tried to fix her up with one of her sons. She, and by saying, are you, uh, I wasn't attached, but it was like the overtone was that Denise was in the mafia.

Sarah:

Oh,

Chris:

well,

Sarah:

yeah. I mean, I'm just making sure. Don't think

Chris:

Denise is in the mafia. She's a very small, like, she's not gonna, not gonna be a very good hit man. Plus she was noisy, so she wasn't gonna sneak up on anybody anyway. So yeah, the night before my wedding, where are we? We're at the the local dive bar where people are peeing on the carpeted floor in the men's room, eating. Obviously I'm pretzels and peanuts

Sarah:

obviously together'cause that is where the peanut wrapped pretzel came into existence, at least in Daddy and Uncle Paul's minds.

Chris:

Right. Right. So for those of you who may be new here, our Uncle Paul is actually not, uh, related to us at all. Our Uncle Paul is our dad's best friend from high school,

Sarah:

and my godfather

Chris:

and Right. And Sarah's godfather. It's a bit of a sore spot. Um, so what happened?

Sarah:

I got the best godparents

Chris:

You did. I mean, you couldn't have asked for, for better godparents, like with the gifts and with their knowledge of Catholicism.

Sarah:

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right.

Chris:

Uncle Paul to everyone else is called preacher, like reacher, except for a lot smaller and with a P. Right. But now I wanna talk about reacher real bad. Me

Sarah:

too. I love reacher.

Chris:

Oh, okay. No podcast. We podcasting. Okay. Yeah. So Uncle Paul's nickname was preacher, so who had jumbo and preacher and they were inseparable. They were hanging around together, uh, went on vacations together many a time.

Sarah:

Why, why did they call Uncle Paul? Preacher? Because he was gonna go to the, the preschool, not preschool priest school.

Chris:

He went to the school for priests. Did he,

Sarah:

did he go for a second? Yeah.

Chris:

Yeah. He was there for, for a heartbeat. And I think the story I remember in my head, which I think we've discussed many a times, could potentially be completely inaccurate, is that he missed Aunt Kay.

Sarah:

I was gonna say, so did he miss Aunt Kay and was like, eh, or did he meet an, I don't know when he met Aunt Kay. Like, did he meet Aunt Kay? Was she a secretary at the priest school? No. And he was like, heys not, he was like, Hey, hey girl. Hey. Then he said, fuck this priest. Shit, what's up, cutie?

Chris:

Right. Not, not gonna do the priest thing anymore. That priest, Ew, these are ew.

Sarah:

Back to the Blue Diamond Bar and Grill, which Blue Diamond Bar and

Chris:

Grill was, was there a grill there? I don't reme. I like, I, once again, I am not, I am not too keen on eating food from someplace where there's carpet in the men's room and, yeah. I mean, it was a, it was a very nice establishment run by, uh, run by an old school, uh, family here in the area with a, it had a long and glorious tradition, uh, the Blue Diamond Bar and Grill. Mm-hmm. Uh, many generations ahead of us had hung out at the Blue Diamond Bar and Grill when I moved back. Your dad would go to Monday Night Football at the Blue Diamond Bar and Grill?

Sarah:

Yeah, it was his ride to Monday Night Football most of the time.

Chris:

Right, right. And then I would, I ended up picking him up sometimes. Mm-hmm. Right. So, uh, and he would always be up the blue. You would go up the blue. Yeah. Hey, we're going up the blue. Up the blue. Right. So it was never down the blue. It was never over to the blue.

Sarah:

Never. It was up the hill.

Chris:

It was up

Sarah:

a little

Chris:

hill. It was, I feel like it was also down a hill. Like there were, there were many hills was, we had to go up

Sarah:

the hill first and then you come down the hill. So, I mean, there's, you just go with like the first thing. I don't dunno. Off the blue. I dunno. We're gonna build blue. Alright. Alright. Oh my God. Tell Diamond, right. Dad, are you ready? Dad, I'm here to pick you up. Are you ready? Just one more. Sarah. Sarah. Just gonna have one more. Sarah, come on in. Come on in. Come on in. Come on in. Come on in. Hey,

Chris:

do you guys, have you guys met? My daughter? This is my daughter, Sarah. A hundred times Sarah, I'm gonna have one more time. One more. Hi, Jan. Hi. Hi, uncle Paul. Hi other Paul? Mm-hmm. Like hi. A tall guy who had, uh, cassette tapes in his pockets all the time. Forget what his name was.

Sarah:

I don't, I don't remember that guy.

Chris:

Very weird. This was much more weird. He, he wasn't weird. It was just very strange when I

Sarah:

was smoking, like right when I would smoke in front of daddy, like, be like, it's like this is much. In fact, I, well I think by that point I was smoking in front of Tady, so I could just sit there and smoke, so it was fine.

Chris:

Right, right.

Sarah:

Mm-hmm. At point. Yeah, because that's, my life revolved around

Chris:

at. At one point, David and I joined a bowling league that met at the, uh, at the Blue Diamond. They had a bowling machine, not in a bowling alley, but it had like a tiny little, it was duck pins. It was kind of like duck pins. Yeah. Kind of, kind of like a combination. Like if bowling and shuffleboard had a baby. Yeah. That's what this game would be. The shuffleboard, the, the puck thing was kind of big and you would slide it down. Mm-hmm. And it would go over these sensors and the sensors would then go click clip and the pins would click clip up like that.

Sarah:

They could go up. We had, um, I used to drive home from the city to participate in that. Mm-hmm. Times, I forget what night it was. Wednesdays or Thursdays, and we had an actual, um, banquet. Like we went down to Wheeling the one year for the, uh, the Blue Diamond Bowling League.

Chris:

Right, right. It was an actual league. There were teams. I was on a team, I believe Dale was on a team. Dale a Dale.

Mm-hmm.

Chris:

Um, yeah. Yeah. And it's sometimes David wouldn't go because there were people who would lick their fingers and then throw the, throw the thing and David was like, I can remember, I must have quit

Sarah:

before David started.'cause I don't remember David, I guess my drive, that was probably when I decided I couldn't make that drive anymore or I couldn't remain sober enough to make that drive anymore.

Chris:

There's always that. There was always whatever.

Sarah:

What?

Chris:

Yeah. Fun times. Fun times, uh, fondly. Remember spending time at the Blue Diamond Bar and Grill. I think I actually tried to go in and visit later and it's hard when, uh, when your dad doesn't hang out there. Yeah. And then you walk in and it is just like a bunch of, um, maybe older gentlemen who have been drinking since 8:00 AM and you're like, hi, uh,

Sarah:

weird. Okay, I get it. I have to

Chris:

go.

Sarah:

I don't think I ever went there by myself, ever. I don't think there was ever a time where I would've gone there by myself.

Chris:

No bizarre, but cheers to you. Uh, blue Diamond Bar and Grill. Uh, happy day after St. Patrick's Day and I hope that everyone had a, uh, had a fantastic time. St. Patrick's thing. I really wish, I really wish we gave Becca the license to speak. Um,'cause I would like to hear what college kids are doing for St. Patrick's Day, hopefully. Course, I feel we're in

Sarah:

charge of this and we can promptly tell her to unmute and talk.

Chris:

I feel like it's better or was if law against it keep her, if we just keep her over there in her corner. I

Sarah:

don't know. I feel

Chris:

like just doing the editing, so excited.

Sarah:

She, it was like her little tail came up for a second and was like, oh, oh, oh. And then I wanna talk. Then you were, I wanna talk. No, we're just gonna leave her in the corner. And her little tail went back

Chris:

down like then. She's sad. She's sad. Um, that's mean,

Sarah:

it's really fucking mean. Mean it's

Chris:

mean. It is. It is mean. I'm sorry, Becca, but

Sarah:

my sister's the one who's in charge.

Chris:

Great. Well, alright, Becca, I take you off mute. I take you off mute. Come on outta your corner.

Becca:

I.

Chris:

Tell us what, tell us what the college kids are doing for St. Patrick's Day. You know, a porch fell on some kids here in Pittsburgh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Becca:

Yes. So fake patties is bigger than the actual day itself. I knew a few people who went out yesterday, but Friday and Saturday, the past weekend, those were really busy. Um, but then this weekend, um, the 22nd is. Two bar stool, which is very official. It's like the communicator across campus for party events and stuff like that. Said March 22nd is fake patties, so that's when, oh, all of the fraternities will, you know, do like day parties and stuff like that. Um, I have roommates getting up at like 5:00 AM to start drinking and that cakes

Sarah:

and egg eggs, motherfuckers

Becca:

won't be sleeping until maybe 10 and maybe go out. We'll see. It's

Sarah:

nice. It's nice to be a senior. Mm. I bet I can find directions to this university. I bet you

Chris:

can. They don't hide it. Turns out they don't hide it.

Sarah:

I can't wait to track Becca down on Saturday.

Chris:

Becca. Becca. It's us. You doing? We party. Weird, sleepy. It's three 30. We have to go. We have to go home. We're good. Oh, I

Sarah:

wish I could, but, uh, yeah, Owen has two freaking soccer games. Stupid.

Chris:

I have a Lego hogs, Mead, uh, to set up. So, yeah. Oh, for like, of these a time,

Sarah:

like, do you guys have like a parent's weekend,

Chris:

Becca? Yes. I think

Sarah:

she's graduating in like four weeks,

Chris:

so we could go back and be her friend's parents. Oh my God. Now we're, now we're gonna go back for homecoming.

Becca:

Yeah, homecoming is a big, big deal here.

Sarah:

Mm-hmm. Yep.

Becca:

We've also had a lot of college athletes, specifically our football team. I think we lost every single game this season. I could be very wrong, but very, very close. So we've had a lot of players go to the portal, so I don't know how good our team is gonna be for next Homecoming. I don't know anything about it. What

Sarah:

does

Chris:

that mean? Go

Sarah:

to the portal?

Chris:

They're gonna transfer to a different school. There's a process for it now. Like, you don't just quit the team and then go to a different school. There's a whole

Becca:

thing.

Sarah:

Ah, geez. You said the portal. I like, for some reason I pictured the portage one. Like, do they just go in there and disappear? Yes. They don't go to school here no more. You suck. Get to the portal.

Chris:

Just volunteering like lemmings.

Sarah:

Wow. Wow. That's interesting.

Chris:

Okay. Yeah, I'm, I think that we'll do, we'll do, uh, coming. Oh my God, I'm so excited. I can't wait. This is gonna be epic. Mm-hmm. Epic. What year did you graduate, Sarah? What year did you graduate?

Sarah:

1999. Yeah. Yeah. Seems right. I feel like it makes me, I, I like that better than 2000,

Chris:

right? Right. I'm gonna go with, um, I'm gonna go with the older, I'm gonna go with 87, like I was there in 87. Wow. Yeah. You guys don't know how epic it was.

Sarah:

You just wanna do that. So everybody says to you, oh God, you look so young. No, you

Chris:

don't

Sarah:

look that old. Yes.

Chris:

Mm-hmm. Yep. Yes. No way. No. Yes. Oh my god, I'm so old. Wow.

Sarah:

You look so youth.

Chris:

Right? I look great for 64 or whatever that would make be. Mm-hmm.

Sarah:

Yeah. Mm-hmm. 64.

Chris:

No idea. I didn't It's a lot of math. It's a lot of math. I've been math all day. Been math thing all day. Oh, okay. We should do, uh, we should do our podcast now. We should do, uh, we should do fan mail. Okay. Um, so. Feedback this week has been generally good, uh, about the podcast. I've heard from maybe a couple of people, and it honestly, like the weeks are starting to run together. Mm-hmm. Uh, so, you know, thanks guys for, for showing us some, some love. Um, we, we appreciate it. Uh, we can't get enough fan mail and I will tell you that. God bless you. Excuse me. Um, Becca, if you could just mark what time Sarah Belched in my ears, that would be, that would be great.

Sarah:

And if you can just like cut her off so you can get the full effect of the little tiny burp. I think that we should do that. It was just a little baby burp Anyway, little baby bird burp.

Anyway,

Chris:

um, we enjoy knowing that we're not just talking out into the void. Mm-hmm. So if you guys could, if you guys could keep, uh, sharing your fan mail and sending us text messages and stuff like that, we definitely appreciate it. We dig it. I think that's it. I think that's all for me. You know, Gaster story of the week ended up being the Blue Diamond, so, we'll, I'll just tuck away, uh, the other Gaster story of the week that I had and we'll, we'll do that when the next time I'm in charge of it.

Sarah:

I forget which one you were gonna do.

Chris:

Me too.

Sarah:

Okay. So luckily we landed on the Blue

Chris:

Diamond Bar and Grill.

Sarah:

Luckily we started talking about the Blue Diamond.

Chris:

And a pretzels, uh, peanuts covered in pretzels, or I think it was peanuts covered in potato chips. Oh, that's what it was. And then somebody made that snack in the early two thousands and I think your dad got mad. Your dad was like, look at this shit. Yeah, look it up. Look it up. I bet if you asked the Google if there was a snack of a potato chip wrapped around a peanut, it will give you an answer.

Sarah:

I bet. I know. Who's asking? Google.

Chris:

The only one here who's typing? Mm-hmm. Yep. That would be Becca. That's why we pay her or don't pay her

Sarah:

or

Chris:

Right.

Sarah:

Just tell her to do shit. Right. Becca? Um, uh, that's like the Snuggie, the SI think we also invented the Snuggie and didn't, I feel like there's lots of shit we invented, but we're just too damn lazy. Our dad invented

Chris:

a lot of things. I think we covered like all of his topics.

Sarah:

Ooh, ooh. Potato chip, candy clusters. No. No.'cause those have the, the chocolate in them.

Chris:

Yeah. There's no chocolate in this, Becca. Oh, I'm so disappointed. Oh, a nutter. There it is. There it is. It was a nutter. Wait. There it is. What's it called? Nutter. Nutter. Up up at the top. Be more nuts.

Sarah:

It's a review. There's actually a bag that says Nutter. Nutters. So when you say nutters, I'm surprised. A bunch of porn. With a Z. With a Z. Oh, nutters with a Z. Because with a Z. This is where the porn's gonna come up.

Chris:

D's nuts. There it is. There it is. There it is. Look at At the

Sarah:

nutters. Oh, how be more nuts. P cheddar.

Chris:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Yeah. Nutters.

Chris:

Yeah. Pappy

Sarah:

was mad about that

Chris:

potato chip coated peanuts. Like if is it's still,

Sarah:

does it still exist? Could we buy these somewhere?

Chris:

I think you should be. Are they on the Amazon too? Should Tough nutters? No, that's not what? Tough nutters.

Sarah:

No, no. Netters. I don't

Chris:

snacks. No, I'm telling her how to search nutters snacks.

Sarah:

It's like a uh, it's like a game show. Potato chip coated peanuts. Crab flavor. You know who had crabs? Don't say it right now. Buy snacks on Amazon. So you buy them on Amazon? Oh my God, maybe. I don't know. We've taken it down here. No, they don't. I don't think that they actually exist anymore, but I love the fact that they're called nutters, which, speaking of nutters, let's go to the conversation we were having yesterday. Forget, I think that you brought something up about our listeners and you said boner and out of nowhere. Yeah. I was like, Hey, remember the best friend on growing pains? I did. They really call him

Chris:

boner. I am surprised, frankly, that it has taken you this long to reference Richard s stab. Is his name. And this is, this is the next thing.

Sarah:

I wasn't even, I like, I, I did not remember and did not acknowledge back in the day that his name was Richard Stubo. Dick Boner. Dick Boner did not. I did not, no. And I wanted to laugh about it, but I also read a little bit about him today before we got on here. And it's, you don't sad.

Chris:

Like I thoroughly enjoyed thinking about Richardson and, and how his

Sarah:

mom used to. Kirk Cameron stitch his name into his underwears, but the name she stitch into his underwears wasn't a boner.

Chris:

She would write boner in his underwear on the show? Like on the show? Not in, not in real life.'cause his real name isn't Richard Deone, like just on family Ties. He was Kirk Cameron's best friend. They got caught cheating on a test.

Sarah:

Yeah. His real name is Andrew Koenig. Mm-hmm.

Chris:

Right. Uh

Sarah:

um. Very unfortunate

Chris:

it topical for our show

Sarah:

though. But I do believe that that was, was it 2010? So anyway, yeah, he, he died by suicide. Um, I didn't read the whole story. I didn't get to the, the end of it. There is this very long story that I found about him. I didn't get to read the whole thing, but he was actually missing for two weeks and he was very, um, yeah. He thought things out. He thought things out for sure. But anyway, so I pour a little out for. Boner. Yeah. I dunno what poor little out means.

Chris:

I think it's a gang thing. So now you're in a gang. Awesome. They're gonna come and make you, uh, make you sell drugs. Now.

Sarah:

I, I bet I end up with some pretty cool fucking tattoos though. Boner tattoos.

Chris:

Alright, let's talk about mental wellness while we, okay. Well, I still have the energy to hate Mel Robbins. Like, stop. I

Sarah:

feel like this is gonna be a very short episode.

Chris:

I mean, there are only so many things that you can say. I will say this, that I was having this discussion with my therapist who we were talking about the first rule of mastery, like how. You know, you kind of have to be in the moment and however you're going to be able to adjust to the kind of stress and pressure that is going to happen to you in your life. Like there's a part in the first rule of mastery where he's talking about, I. Being in stressful meetings and being in stressful situations. And you can sort of go one of two ways. You can say, this is the most stressful thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life. And that kind of gets you to focus in and do the thing. Or you can be like, this doesn't bother me at all. Like, I'm gonna have to just let this, let this all be chill. Mm-hmm. But you have to figure out which one of those mindsets. Put you in the right space to attack it the, the way that you naturally would. And that is she was talking about, oh, she's like, oh, have you read Let Them by Mel Robbins? And I was like, yes. Yes I have. And uh, I'm still struggling to, to get through the book and I don't know if it's because of my sometimes attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. People will not like everything that everybody else likes, just. Because we feel like that's somebody telling us what to do when we don't really enjoy being told what to do.

Sarah:

I feel like that's people in general a lot. I feel like the, with this, maybe it has a mix also that, that we read this book already,

right?

Sarah:

Three times. I'm pretty sure that we read this book. I, I'm going to finish it, but we can discuss if you want to move on to another book for the podcast, because we've literally said all of this shit before. There are a few things I'm gonna talk about today that I was able to pull out of these two chapters, but there's not, there's not really a lot considering that this section is called some shit about people's opinions. We just finished that book for real, like. And I look through the rest of the names of the chapters and there are some things that are, that are interesting. So maybe we will discuss how we can attack things maybe a little different and get through it a little bit quicker. I'm gonna finish reading it because I'd like to, to see what we can, what we can pull out of it. But are you ready for my, my thoughts about. About what I read.

Chris:

I told my therapist, I'm like, I, I just don't know. I don't know what, what, I don't know what it is. And she was like, have you expressed that on your podcast?'cause I would like to see how hard people come for you when you say you don't like this book. And I was like, well, you did last

Sarah:

week. Yeah, we've already said that. Yeah.

Chris:

Well, I mean, I will say that Mel Robbins is dead on with everything she says. I've just. Come at it from different places and I, I think that a part of my anger is because I've already read it. Like part of my anger is I've already read it. Part of my anger is everyone saying how amazing it is. And I'm like, well, this all seems like common sense to me now. And then I get furious because she wrote a book about common sense things and is making gajillions of dollars. I think maybe that is also the part I can't get over.

Sarah:

Yeah. I get real mad at that guy who invented the Snuggy. Right. I get pissed, man. I get pissed. Potato chip, chip covered peanuts. Yeah. I knew it. Like I, I know that that was my claim to fame or let them, grandma's let them or something. I don't know, but let them. But that's originally, I mean, I originally, when you said this book, I was like, eh, because, and that's why I was kind of eh about it because it's very popular. It's very popular right now, and I swore like a year ago is when I first heard about it. And I was like, oh yeah, that's, that totally makes sense. That's good. But then like just recently, the book gained some, some speed and there's a lot of let them tattoos and, and I, I don't, I don't think any of it's bad whatsoever, but I think that both of us maybe have an aversion to things that are popular.

Chris:

Right. Right.

Sarah:

I don't, that's dumb. It's,

Chris:

and it's fine. It's fine. It's, I I will say that I agree with everything that I've read in the book so far.

Sarah:

Yeah. That's the thing, because we agree with everything that Michael Dravet said and Mark Manson. Right. It's all, it's all the same stuff. But the thing is, I think that we need all of these authors to write their books because not everybody reads. Mark Manson the way that we did. Not everybody reads Michael vets the way that we did. So I think it's, it's good for us to have all of these'cause, you know, different people need to read different things. But anyway, so that's, that's it. That's, we're not talking about anything earth shattering today that we haven't already discussed, but, but lay, I'm gonna lay it about the two chapters. Okay. So the first chapter for today is chapter five. Let Them Think Bad Thoughts about You, which is something that I've always, um. It reminded me of me saying, that's fine. I mean, I don't really, if you don't like me, like that's fine. Just talk about me behind my back. Like, I don't wanna hear it because it's happening. It happens, it's going to happen. People are not all going to like me, and I'm, I'm okay with that. I think that we have, as a family, discovered that I am not everyone's cup of tea all the time.

Chris:

But like the contrast of that is I really like for people to like me, like it is foundational in, in how I grew up. Do, do you know what I mean? Like foundational in my place in the world is the fact that I can charm. People. And when I can't, I also find that very irritating and, and upsetting. So I, I mean, I think, I think you have, you have the both of us and we, we approach this problem in different ways. I think the, the nice thing is that I'm also able to, uh, now. After, you know, doing this podcast for a year and reading the same book nine times, uh, and coming to the same conclusions is that I can, I can be in a situation where I find out that somebody doesn't like me and it doesn't, it doesn't make me spiral the, the way that it used to. Mm-hmm. And I think that's the, that's the key. Like, it's always gonna bother me. Like, I always wanna be liked, like my general approach to things is you should like me, I am awesome.

Sarah:

Do you think that's a problem with me? That I don't really care if people like me?

Chris:

No. I think these are just two different ways to look at things. Like these are just two different ways.

Sarah:

Maybe it's easier for me to be okay with that because generally people do like me. I mean, it's legit. I mean, I can name some people who don't like me, but I, it's like one or two. I mean, for the most part. I don't know. I,

Chris:

I dunno, because, you know, I expect people to like me too because, you know, at this point of my life, I like me and I, I would be, I'm always confused when it happens. Like, do you, why?

Sarah:

But I mean, genuinely though, like, I, I do know of people who exist specifically, who I know do not like me, and I do not really like them. Um, and I don't really care. Like it's, uh. Sorry. Like, I don't, all right. Well I'm glad that you know that you don't like me, so you can move on with your life too. Great. Um, I don't really think about it all that much, but in this chapter, one of the, the main things here, and this is, I was getting to this'cause I think that I've grasped onto this and been okay with it, is that you need to just assume that people think negative thoughts about you because they do. They are, there will be people who have negative thoughts about you. And the big thing here in this, in this little segment is talking about, um, people who love you. There are people, the people who love you, think bad thoughts about you every day. Every day, all the time in the book, Mel Robbins gives you an example of everyone in her family. And I'm like, yeah, it's 100% true. She's like my husband, and this is one of my favorite parts. She said, my husband wakes up every morning and lets out a big fart. And that makes me think badly of him because I think he's disgusting. And then she goes through each of her children and I thought it was cute. She gets to her son and she was like, yeah, no, he's perfect. I was like, no, no, just kidding. He's, he does this, he does that. He's also gross. But having these thoughts and you can have these negative thoughts or bad thoughts about other people. But you could still have love and respect for them. Like these things can coexist. And if you tell me no, that's my husband. I love him. I would never think anything bad of him ever, because we have such a perfect relationship. I think that you are a lying piece of shit and I. I feel bad for you actually.'cause man, your life's gotta be boring. But anyway, that's the judging me. Yeah, it's okay. These things can't exist. People are gonna have bad thoughts about you and that's okay. And I think I've mentioned it before, one of Owen's little sayings in the bathroom, it's none of your business what other people think of you.

Chris:

I love it. So.

Sarah:

Yeah, and I'm perfectly happy with that. So that's really all I took outta chapter five. Like I said, wasn't a lot, wasn't a lot of earth shattering shit. So move on to chapter six, which is How to Love Difficult People, which is the one I was really excited about reading and I definitely got a a bit more out of this. So one of the first things she talks about is the frame of reference. And this is something again that we've talked about. And it's really just understanding somebody else's frame of reference. Meaning that the lens through which they see something is going to be different than what we see something. And we need to understand that we're not always aware of what someone else is thinking and how they're, what's the word? Comprehending. I don't think that, it doesn't seem like the right word,

Chris:

is it? They're, you don't, you can never really understand their perspective. Like they now bring the same Yeah. Exactly. They don't bring the same history to it that that, yeah. That you bring their interaction with this thing is different. Like the dress in. Yeah, exactly. So we definitely rule of mastery. Definitely fucking

Sarah:

talked about it. In this case. The example that she gave was when her husband proposed to her. She was all excited about it, and she told her mom, and her mom was like, uh, okay. Sounds great. And she was like, what the, and she just, she, again, we tend to just create our own reality or put ourselves and think that that's exactly what, what someone else is thinking. And so she just thought that this was something she didn't like her husband, or whatever reason, she wasn't happy. And that was kind of her fault too, Mel. And she carried that for like very long time and finally came to see her mom's. Frame of reference, which was, yeah, this guy proposed to you and he lives on the East Coast and now you guys are gonna live on the East Coast and now you're gonna have a family on the East coast, which is not where I live. So of course, no, I wouldn't have picked this guy for you because you and your family are now going to live far away from me. So that makes me sad and I find it hard to be excited about it, even though I love your husband. Feel like he's great for you. It's fucking with my life. So that's the understanding of what other people are thinking. And in this chapter, she talks about how we need to give grace to other people's frame of reference to kind of back up and give. That other frame of reference, a little bit of room so you can figure out what that other frame of reference is and understand what that frame of reference is. And like she was talking about how she really understands that now having older children like it, it definitely, it, it makes it. It makes it a lot different. So the frame of reference is, again, just knowing that people are looking through things in a different lens, looking at things through a different lens than what you are. And this is just reality. And another thing to remember when it comes to relationships and understanding someone else's lens is that not everyone else is trying to be a better person. Not everyone else is going to therapy. Not everyone else is digging into their past to find their trauma, and there's nothing wrong with that Sometimes it's just just the way it is. Maybe not everybody has trauma, and I personally believe that everybody should go into therapy as soon as they're born, but I mean, whatever. We need to remember that there are people who aren't doing that and they're okay with that. In these cases, these people are only going to be able to meet you as deeply as they've met themselves. So we can't expect them to up their behavior to match what what you're doing. We can't expect them to say, yeah, just automatically I'm a fucking idiot and figure that out.'cause it doesn't. It doesn't happen. And in these cases, this is where you need to remember that the only only thing that you can change is you. And that's where, that's where you have the control. So you decide what kind of relationship that you are going to create with these individuals based on your needs and your values. And this was the big thing that I took out of this chapter that I don't think we've really discussed before, is the fact that not everybody else is looking to, to better themselves and change, um. In these cases when you're trying to figure out what relationship you want to build, the extreme cases of course are, it might mean that you are gonna always be the one who's gonna make the effort even when it's not returned. And if you're okay with that and that aligns with with your needs, then that's okay. That's what you're gonna do. Or it could mean the opposite of that. And again, extremes where you're gonna decide that I need to make a change and I need to separate because this is no longer what I deserve and what I need. So it's time, time to move on. Um, and that's, that's really all I have to talk about, but I figured just that bit would be enough to start to make you cry. Yeah.

Chris:

Yeah. That made me cry. Yeah.

Sarah:

Um, and I didn't mean to make you cry.

Chris:

No, no. Um, no, I'm just kind of, it's funny because, um, this book is stupid and I hate it. And yet, like the perspective around that particular thing is one that like we haven't, we haven't touched on. Right. We haven't talked about how. Not everybody is like geeked to, to have conversations that are mature, like right. And you know, today at work, um, I had a shit ton of conversations where people were clearly not ready to approach things in sort of a grownup in, in adult way. Um, and I found that extremely frustrating and my response to being frustrated is to cry. So, yeah.

Sarah:

Uh, which actually I feel like is a valid response.

Chris:

I mean, I think me crying at work is never about, I'm so sad about how people have treated me.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Chris:

Me crying at work is, I am really sad. I can't stab you in the neck.

Sarah:

Mm-hmm. Frustration.

Chris:

It's the way that that comes out. And today was just one of those days where everybody was like, well, you know, Christine. If I have to hear, well, you know, Christine, at AT Work, it means that people are not going to be collaborative. People are not going to be, you know, kind of onboard to solve problems. They're gonna be looking to, to do a lot of CYA and that's always a hard I. Spot for me to be in because as cheesy as it is, I want things to work out at work because that's what's good for a, you know, making little babies here. And that's what's good for deciding if this medicine's really gonna work and is really worth everybody's time and effort instead of, we're not gonna do that because it might make me look stupid to somebody else. And I'm like. Alright, fine. We'll play this game and we'll tap dance around this. So you didn't really make me cry. Uh, thinking about these things today is, is kind of making me look at today's workday and, uh. In a new light. These are, these are tears of frustration because I, mm-hmm. I really do want people to work better and communicate better and to look at solutions instead of, you know, pointing out problems. Right.

Sarah:

So how do you take this back to your work tomorrow?'cause I don't, I don't have the answer. Right. And I should preface that. Like, this is again, the easy, hard shit like. Right. This is great. Like this is opening something up that we haven't talked about yet that I thought was pretty interesting. As much as this book sucks, um, I mean, I love this book. I thought this was, I thought this was, and this actually, this little nugget was what made me decide we should finish the book.'cause in chapter five, I was like, this is, we're just talking about the same shit,

same

Sarah:

thing. And then when I found this little tiny thing in chapter six, I was like, Ooh. I still think that there's gonna be some nuggets sprinkled in here that we could use.

Chris:

Yeah, and I think, I think the way, the way that this is sort of opening up my eyes is sad. Like it makes me sad too. Like it's sad that I have to be at work and, well, it's not sad that I have to be at work. I'm, I really do like what I do. I mean, it's frustrating at times. I'm sad that I have to

Sarah:

be at work every day.

Chris:

But I think the, I think that the, the way that, that I'm gonna turn this into something that, that I can use is that I don't have any control. People decide to do right? Like I don't have any control over how you're gonna approach this problem. What I have control over is the way I react to it. If I go ballistic and get on a call and be like, what the hell are we doing? Fuck is happening here. Let's get our shit together. Then everybody loses, right? Like that person is now confronted with somebody who isn't collaborative. The rest of the team is like, well now everyone, now everything is falling apart. Like I owe it. To the people at work and the people on these projects and the people on my team to come at this with a, in a way that I would, I would want everyone to come at it. Like that's, that's how we, we turn that into a po. I don't have any control over how everyone else is gonna react, what I do. So you have to let them is. Here's, here's what I can do. I can offer these solutions and I can be the person that people are going to talk to about what they can do. Like, let me just put it out there. Like, yeah, this is a, this is a very hard position to be in. Like this is very hard to deliver this kind of news and. When we have to deliver this kind of news, let's be as open and honest and, you know, work together, cheerleader as we, as we possibly can. So that's, that's the, that's the thing that I'm gonna fall back on from the rest of the, of the, you know, sort of self helpy things that we have. I don't have any control over the way these people are talking. Uh, I don't have any control over what is going to happen tomorrow. What I do have control over is Yan Z. So let's look at that and let's provide the best outcome that we can for the rest of the team. What's it gonna take?

Sarah:

And we fixed all your problems,

Chris:

right? And here we are. And now I'm not crying anymore. But it is, I

Sarah:

mean, it's kind of, it's, it's funny, it's not funny, but like talking through it, it's exactly what the fucking book is about. Like that's, you just explained exactly what the book is about. Let them do whatever shitty, let them react in every shitty way that they want to let them be assholes. Let them make poor decisions about how they speak to someone. But you know what? That shit doesn't matter'cause I can't fucking control it. So let me. Be the change. Let me show these people how we can do it. And if they don't wanna fucking follow, then let them. Right? So now we love the book and we're gonna go get tattoos tomorrow. We're gonna go get, let them tattoos. I'll,

Chris:

I'll jam something into my eyeball. You know what? We should also get teardrops tattooed on our faces because now we're all in a gang.

Sarah:

Yes. The Mel Robbins. No, what was the gang I was joining? Oh, I was pouring it out for the boner.

Chris:

You were gonna be in a gang with Richard Steon.

Sarah:

With Dick Boney. Um, yeah, so yeah, I, I don't have anything else to talk about as far as the book goes. I think that we summed that up pretty swiftly.

Chris:

Yeah. It makes

Sarah:

sense.

Chris:

It it. And there's, there's something to be said, and I know I've said it a million times, that the fundamental truth to all of this in that you can come at it like so many different ways, like mm-hmm. Sarcastic, kind of a-hole relationship advice from Mark Manson. He is like, you know, you know what's more important than that? These are fundamental truths that I'm uncovering. Like you can come at it from like ancient philosophy, like the stoics, the stoics, that, that kind of, uh, you know, kind of run through everything

Sarah:

that I didn't even know. Like the stoics were a thing. Like I, I didn't, this is all me. Right? Just so you know, like I didn't know That's what we referred to these people as. I was like, you're stoic. Like, I thought that's what these emails were all about until I started reading, I was like, oh, that's like a group of people. Wow. Wow. Okay. Cool. Ancient philosophy,

Chris:

like Yeah, not a clue. That is, to me it is, it is wild that you can find your way back to, uh, to these sort of common theme themes, right? In these crazy ways, like Michael Erve vase being like the whatever, like coach of the coaches, like right. Supreme Mastery Guy and Mel Robbins, just trying to get soccer moms through the day,

Sarah:

right?

Chris:

Like both of these people are doing the same, like the advice is the same. Mm-hmm. Like Mark Manson. And when we eventually get to our, the, the master of the TED Talk, who now what I would like to see is Brene Brown. Mm-hmm. And Mel Robbins do like a cage match. I was just gonna say fight, fight, fight. Right. I want him to fight. I want him to fight. I want him to both be the man in the arena and I want him to fight. Show me how it's done, girls. I

Sarah:

bet. Listen, if this happens and we don't get some cut of it, I'm gonna be pissed. Seriously, God

Chris:

damnit.

Sarah:

I'm saying there's Snu, I'm saying right now there's my Snuggie. If they go to a cage match and we are not involved and we don't get any money from it, I'm, I'm gonna get, I'm getting a lawyer. That's it. It's final. That's it. Motherfuckers, honestly, we're putting it out there.

Chris:

We're putting it out there.

Sarah:

But I mean, and, and something that we found in, in this chapter is that one little nugget that you can just, you can get a couple things from each of these books that you didn't get in the one previous. So let's try not to have the attitude that we already know at all. I mean, even though I know it all, I mean, yeah.

Chris:

Yes. This is a good. This is a very good lesson in humility. Thank you. I appreciate the fact that I was like, fuck this book. It's so goddamn boring. I already know it.

Sarah:

No, I'm saying both of us.'cause I was literally, when I sat down to read this, I was like, wah wah. Like in my head, you know, we have these 70,000 thoughts a day, like 50,000 of them yesterday were yesterday when I was reading this book, and they were WWWW. Meow, Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's what it was. Um. Excuse me. So I'm, I'm wi I'm 100% with you. I was giving up on the book as well, so I think this, this was a great lesson that yeah, we don't know it all and there are little things that we can pull from, from all of these types of books. So we will continue to read and you will bring a little nugget to the, and every time I say Nugget, I think of like, I bring a little nugget, macho, little poops,

Chris:

right? Same. That's what I, that's what everybody thinks of. It's what everybody thinks of. Nugget, a golden nugget vibe.

Sarah:

I just think of a little nugget, a little macho poop nugget. Anyway, so I would like to throw out there that we have a fun interview coming up next week. So we will, uh, we'll be interviewing Sam next week. It should be interesting. And she's super funny just like us. And she'll say, fuck. So I think that's pretty cool.

Chris:

And that's really all I have. The party, the party, the party come and hang out with us. What

Sarah:

party?

Chris:

We're having a party for our birthday. I was like,

Sarah:

what

Chris:

party? What party? Well, I don't know. I know it's here.

Sarah:

Well, hey, I was super excited to see Heather post on the, on the page. Michael Ovation is gonna be coming to join us. Kim d and Mel are gonna be there, and I believe that, uh, Tony d who's the other half of Kim d will be there. Nice.

Someone's gonna

Sarah:

drive them, I think. And us and Becca. And the Becca mom. And the Becca dad. So we are And, and the Gaster mom. And the Gaster dad.'cause we're making them. So mom and dad also.

Chris:

Me and Jean will be there too.

Sarah:

Oh yeah. Yeah. And me and Jean will be there. Is David gonna join us?

Chris:

Maybe. I mean, it's always a maybe, right?

Sarah:

Well, I said I'd be there at five. I'm not sure that Noah can be home and drive me down there by five. We might have to leave my car. You can either there. I'm gonna be drunk.

Chris:

I am. Probably not. Can you be drunk? I am.

Sarah:

I'm gonna. I'm gonna be drunk. I'm

Chris:

so anxious. I am.

Sarah:

I reserve some tables for us. We'll be closer to the door, which is farther away from the stage, which was intentional, which is a good thing for you. Because number one, I like to talk to people and I like to hear them. And in my old age, I typically say, well, how loud is that place? And the last time we went, Becky, you know how

Chris:

it is. You know how it is. How loud is it? How's the parking are? We will like, will I need, will I need to drive around the block? Like do I have to parallel park?'cause I'm not gonna go, well they have valet parking too,

Sarah:

so that's

Chris:

good. Not gonna go. Right.

Sarah:

These are all things so old that I question. And when we were there for the 10 band, is that their name? The Pearl Jam cover

Chris:

band? The Pearl Jam cover band.

Sarah:

My ears weren't right for weeks and we sat so loud right up by the, by the state. So loud. I couldn't do it, so, so yeah. So I reserved us some space closer to the back, closer to the door where we might actually be able to hear each other. So that's cool. That's what old people do, thought Mommy and daddy might appreciate that.'cause they're older than we are. However, they're older than they.

Chris:

They can't hear anything. They're older. I was just gonna say, they're like, they've gone beyond,

Sarah:

they're to the older stage where they can't fucking hear any of it.

Chris:

They're like, this is great. Perfect volume. I can see

Sarah:

right now people talking to daddy and Daddy just going, do they know John

Chris:

Prine? We will take, we'll take bets like an over under on how many times your dad asks about John Prine.

Sarah:

It's a, oh, it's the fucking, it's gonna be the best. It's gonna be the best. So, uh, so yeah, come join us. That's April 4th. It, the craft house, stage and grill, craft, stage and grill.

Chris:

I always get them

Sarah:

messed up.

Chris:

That's stage, house craft and grill. Yeah. I say stage, craft, grill, house stage, and craft.

Sarah:

Well.'cause my, my body, who owns it? Charlie stage. So that's always what I wanted to start with. But anyway, but Charlie, I don't think he listens to the podcast, but I'm gonna throw this out there. He will not be there because he will be visiting his new grand baby. Yeah. So, no,

Chris:

it's funny to be like old enough to be worried about parking being old enough. Where we're visiting the Grand Babies is maybe beyond what. Is needed

Sarah:

brand new grand baby. I can't remember the name so I apologize, but she is sweet, baby. He sent me a picture and then of course I saw some on Facebook and I, you know how I feel about babies. They're not all cute. I will not say that they're all cute if I just go, wow, congratulations. That means your baby's ugly. But if I tell you how cute your baby is, your baby is fricking cute and this little. Baby girl is fucking adorable. Like she just has all these little perfect features, and she had one of those little, those little hats with a big bow that's bigger than her whole body, and it still looked ridiculously cute. So, um, yeah, on the off chance that they listen, congratulations. She's a beautiful baby. Aw. So enjoy. I think they're leaving the day after, like, super early in the morning, so they, they're not gonna be there. But I told him I accept that excuse and that's probably one of the only excuses I would accept, baby.

Chris:

All right. I think we've said all the words.

Sarah:

Yeah, I've said, I've definitely said all the words. This is actually longer than I thought we were. I thought we were gonna wrap it up at 40. We

Chris:

never, we never do, we never do. This will be, this will be like a 45 minute episode though.'cause there's 15 minutes of us going, blah, blah, blah.

Sarah:

Hey, I had, um, I did have a sign off here. Another one we're gonna keep, we're just gonna keep throwing EMS out there. Do until, uh, found one that

Chris:

sticks.

Sarah:

Yeah. Until we, so this one, this one, I would, I would categorize it as snappy and bold. Actually, that's what chat is that what you told? Told Chatty. That's a chat. Snappy and bold sign off. So here it is. Stay weird, stay well, and keep laughing through the chaos. See you next time on the Mental Funny Bone. Love you guys.

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