The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 45: My Emotional Support Bowl of Candy

• Gaster Girls • Season 5 • Episode 1

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Welcome to another entertaining episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone,' with Chris and Sarah where mental wellness meets laughter. The hilarious sisters dive into the concept of letting go of control with Mel Robbins' 'Let Them Theory,' share giggle-worthy anecdotes from their past, and highlight hilarious fan mail. Get ready to explore topics like ADHD, childhood memories, and the joys of obsessive hobbies, all wrapped in humor and relatable experiences. From planning a year-anniversary party to discussing Mel Robbins' life-changing theories, this episode is a perfect blend of fun and insightful discussions. Don’t miss out on their laugh-out-loud moments and tips on embracing a mindful, joyful life.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Sarah (2):

Welcome to the Mental Funny Bone, a podcast where we strive to create a safe and entertaining space where listeners can explore mental health topics, find solace, and enjoy laughter. This podcast aims to destigmatize mental health discussions and empower individuals to approach their own well being with humor and openness. I laugh because you're chewing your, you have your hand over your face. I wasn't, I was reading the intro, so I didn't totally see you and I thought that you were just laughing at me and it reminded me of us laughing at nothing and not being able to stop and pissing daddy off. Yeah. Or yeah, or pissing mommy off at the ballet. Potatoes. They look like fucking potatoes.

Chris:

Here's what happened. I went out into the kitchen to get my emotional support bowl of candy. And then when I came in, I sat down at my desk and had to immediately have an emotional support candy.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. And I could hear the rapper, which is great. I like it.

Chris:

Hi, I'm Sarah. And I'm Christine. And we are not mental health professionals, but we do suggest that you go and see a mental health professional on a routine basis. It will make you feel better. If you need help finding one, there's a, there's links in our show notes all the time. And while you're there in the show notes, there's also a little link to the fan mail. The fan mail, despite being named fan mail, will actually let you send us a

Sarah (2):

Yeah, and I should also note, when you send that text, if you could just sign your name. I don't know. Just give us an idea who you are, because it doesn't tell us, and then we have to search on our phones to see if we know you, because all it gives us is the last four digits of your phone number. Luckily, that has worked out for us. I have confirmed everyone who has sent us a fan mail. But, just if you're doing that, and we do love that you do that for us, just give us a little name. That's great.

Chris:

Great. And if you don't want to, tell us your name. If you want to be anonymous. Make up a real funny name. Yeah. Mike. Yeah. Last name Huntz.

Sarah (2):

Dude's name isn't Mike.

Chris:

It never is. Sarah never is. Phil. Phil McCracken. Also, stop it. This is not what we're here for. Also, speaking of male, Yes, and fan mail it has come to our attention that at the beginning we were all about telling you guys the email address where you could get in touch with us and Someone has recently pointed out that we haven't said it in seven episodes or something. So

yeah

Chris:

gastergirls at gmail. com g a s t e r g i r l s gmail. com and gmail is spelled g Fanmail.

Sarah (2):

com. There you are. Oh, I'm giddy today. I'm not sure I'm ready with my material, but I sure do have a smile and laughing going on here, so we're good. We're

Chris:

all good. Um, speaking of fanmail, I would like to highlight a few pieces of fanmail that we've received through the fanmail link. These people had sent us a couple of good thoughts. the first one, the most recent one, I think is the most funny. One, because all it says is, How have you been? And then it gives two quotes, I saw friends who made me feel good about myself. I hit a deer. Hilarious. You guys, if you need better encouragement that no one here is going to judge what you send, it should be the fact that I was so delighted to get that alphabet soup salad.

It

Sarah (2):

was my absolute favorite. So this is where it comes into play that I use the last four digits of the phone and my phone to figure out who this was. It's a childhood buddy of mine, forever friend, Jared. And when I found out it was him and God love you, Jared, thank you so much for saying please. Every time you listen, will you please hit the fan mail and just send something. Cause it made me so super happy. Yeah, I was not surprised at all that this came from Jared and I think the end hilarious like just hearing him I should have known it was him. Actually,

Chris:

there's it's a bizarre mix of some capitals some punctuation there are quotations, but there's that there's two dots instead of three dots like it is a My

Sarah (2):

favorite thing about it is that I could see him smiling and laughing while he's typing in on his little phone. Hilarious. And it makes me so fucking happy.

Chris:

I will tell you the most important one that we got was from, I think, another one of your friends. But I was in my kitchen having a small, nervous breakdown. Oh, this is

Sarah (2):

you. I thought you were talking, this is not what she said. no, This is when you read it. Okay.

Chris:

Yeah, this is my actual, I'm setting the scene, if you will. okay. storytelling. God. It's an important part of what we do. it says, Hi, the storytelling. It says, hi, I was in the kitchen and I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown because it has been a rough week at work. It's been a week at work where I felt like I've been kicking puppies all day long by the time I get done. Yeah, it's been pretty brutal. So the fan mail says, I love your podcast and I think it's awesome what you ladies are doing. I may not send fan mail, but I listened to your show weekly. I have major FOPO and I don't talk about it to many people, about my hippy dippy shit. Sarah, I'm so proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone. It's inspiring. it's time people start having, funny and serious conversations about mental health and instead of the fear and embarrassment about it. Keep doing what you're doing. Peace, love, and happiness. This nice lady signed it, Melanie. God bless ya. and then she says, I re read, this over and debated on sending it for fear of sounding stupid.

Yeah. And

Chris:

I think that, A, it delighted me. It pulled me out of my, it pulled me out of the moment that I was in. While I was in the kitchen feeling bad for myself, and it gave me the ability to recognize that, yeah, this is just a, it's just a moment and this is gonna be completely different in 30 minutes if I let it be completely different in 30 minutes, Melanie, you are a genius. I really appreciate your timing and thank you so much for having that 15 seconds of courage and hitting the send button. Thanks. We appreciate

Sarah (2):

it. Thanks, Mel. We love you. And I can see her. She's another one that I can see her on her phone sending it. And deciding not to send it and then sending it and then hitting send and her face gets beet red as soon as she hits send. I know it. Oh my god. Oh my god. 100%. that is awesome. Okay, so on April 4th, 2024, we released our first episode of The Mental Funny Bone. Yay! So it's coming up on a year and we decided that we want to celebrate. And so we are going to go to the craft house stage and grill. It's in the South hills. you can look it up. I am not going to give you the address right now. Everything's on Facebook, yada, yada. I will be there at five o'clock. Not sure when anybody else will be there, but I will be there at five. There is a band that night. The band is old school, who please take a moment to look them up. They're from Cleveland, and I can't imagine a better band to be playing the night that we're gonna be out celebrating, because I looked at their song list, and it's fucking phenomenal. Phenomenal. It is all old school shit, ranging from, I can't even think. First of all, Vanilla Ice, Nice. Yes, of course. So it's mud downed, like hiphop shit. And it's CNC music factory. The whoever sings the rump shaker. Yeah. All sorts of shit. It's it enforcer. I'm pretty

Chris:

sure it's

Sarah (2):

there.

Chris:

Yeah, that's it. That's a jam. Enforcer. informer. Yeah. No, not enforcer.

Sarah (2):

Maybe it is enforcer. Enforcer.

No it isn't. No it isn't. Lick your boom. Boom. No. What? Lick your boom. Boom. I don't think those are the words. Are you missing Missy Elliot, though? It's your feminine friend, yeah? Okay, anyway.

Sarah (2):

Okay, yeah. we are going to celebrate April 4th at Craft House Stage and Grill. I will be there at 5 o'clock. Cover starts at 6. if you want to avoid that cover, come on a little bit earlier. Yeah, come early.

Chris:

that's that. Love it. I'm super excited about that. And just a quick funny aside before we talk about, the Gaster story of the week. Yes, enforcer. I'm going to start calling you the enforcer. I choose violence. Oh, I forgot to tell David that we were having that party. I told your mom and dad we were having that party and they were like, Oh, I don't know if you guys could hear Sarah drinking, but she's drinking out of one of our, one of our limited edition mental funny bone water bottles. Because now that we're

Sarah (2):

nearly famous made by a friend of mine, if you need a good glitter cup, I know a girl, go ahead, a girl.

Chris:

so I forgot to mention it to David and, he called me this morning and he's You didn't tell me you were having a party. I was like, I barely knew I barely registered it. I'm pretty sure I told you I tried to do that. I'm pretty sure I told you because he, he's got a bad memory and sometimes I can get away with it. And he was like, no, you didn't. Nope, and I was like, you're right. I probably didn't. I'm sorry. but David will be there. So yeah, I'm pretty sure Noah will be there Are your parents planning on coming? What's the if somebody brings them then they get it They gotta leave early cuz we're gonna need to be home and in bed

Sarah (2):

I was thinking that I can coax them into coming up here and they can head down with me and Noah. I'm probably going to have to drive them. I don't know, whatever. But my birthday is the following day, so they can just come home with me so they'll be here to celebrate my birthday because it's easier to hand me a check when they're here instead of like, sending the card in the mail. That seems silly. Right.

Chris:

Why bother? Why bother with that? Shall we move on to the Gaster's story of the week? Speaking of the Gaster's. Absolutely.

Sarah (2):

Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Chris:

I was reaching far back in the annals of the Gasters. In the what? Annals. Annals? history, lore, legend, the collection of stories. Annals. I know what you thought. You know what I thought. I hate to ruin the mystery or the magic, but sometimes I put things in just to see what you'll say.

Sarah (2):

Reaching into the annals.

That's what I

Sarah (2):

heard. Continue.

Chris:

This is why people can't listen with their grandma. Anyway, I was, I was throwing it back and I was thinking about the time our dad wanted to start a Subway franchise

and

Chris:

then I was thinking about the time our dad had his own, framing business. and then I was thinking about the time our dad got really into basket weaving when our mom owned the craft store.

Sarah (2):

Yeah,

Chris:

so I was going through a series of these thoughts and I'm like which one of these is good to talk About and not I'm like, you know what? Why don't we just lump these all together and talk about the inherited nature of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder?

Sarah (2):

Yeah,

Chris:

so that we could We can tie it all together into mental health and mental wellness. So I started thinking about stories about your dad as a child And how he would sit there and wanna play games with people, but all he would do is make noises. Burp, burp,

Sarah (2):

burp, burp. Which has been passed down to me and Ellen. nin. Yeah, I don't do it, I don't know

Chris:

why. I have a different, neurodivergence.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, we're just noise makers.

Chris:

It's fun. It's fun. Yeah. So then I was thinking about, Tying all of these things into, into your dad's routine changing of obsessions. And I think we could actually go through a timeline of things that your dad was obsessed with. Yeah. my favorite being the log cabins. Do you remember? You might've been too little, but. No, we were going to build a log cabin, right?

Sarah (2):

You're not

Chris:

talking Lincoln logs. You're talking. no. I'm not talking, hey, let's go look at. Not talking dance lessons. It would be like a varied length of time, but never so short that we wouldn't remember it and never so long that anything got done.

Sarah (2):

I remember, did he have, I, I related it to or the equivalent of mommy having, a sewing pattern. And I feel like daddy had log cabin patterns. Yes. Of some sort. Yes. Of course, I guess it wasn't, now I'm thinking about it, it was more like a, yeah, you know what I talk about. You know what I talk about. I hear ya. I hear ya. he had like books and shit.

Chris:

and we would, so for those of you who might be a little bit newer, when Sarah and I were younger, one of our parents favorite pastimes to do with us to keep us busy and quiet and not destroying things and not sitting around watching a bunch of TV was to throw us in the car and just drive us around. And this was

Sarah (2):

one of the, we've been out a few times looking at log cabins.

Chris:

And I am talking, it was like, kids, get in the car. And I was 16, 17, and we were still doing this, kids, get in the car. we're going for a drive. And we would. We would drive out, we would drive up to, what's the place in the mountains around here? Ohio Pal?

Sarah (2):

Laurel, the Caverns. Yeah. I was going to say Laurel Taverns, but yeah. That's

Chris:

also a place I think, but not one we would go to on a Sunday drive. and we would drive around there and I remember your mom and dad looking at places and saying this would be a perfect spot to build a log cabin. And so the lengths of your dad having those plans in our home, spread out over the dining room table, and looking at them and plotting out where the rooms would be, what kind of logs we would use, where we would get the logs. I think the, there was somebody who had like a tree that fell down and your dad went and got it. Cause we would use it for our log cabin at some point, like just a random tree. You picked it up in Smok, maybe. I got to go on that ride. That was fun. You didn't get to go, you were little. Yeah. But, think about that. Think about how you got things back before there was an internet. Your dad had to go someplace You couldn't just do a Google search for who can give me plants for a log cabin.

Sarah (2):

You had to find phone numbers, you had to call people, you had to go places. How do you even, how do you even? I would have, I would have never gotten anything done.

Chris:

I don't even like calling

Sarah (2):

for fucking pizza.

Chris:

I'm like, can I just order it online? if not, maybe I'll go to a different pizza place. Exactly.

Sarah (2):

If I can't order it online, I'm not. Oh I don't give a fuck, I'll go somewhere else.

Chris:

This is like the level of commitment he had made to this log cabin that he was willing to research, I don't even know where you, would you go to the library and what kind of book are you looking that up at?

Sarah (2):

Yeah, I haven't a clue, haven't a clue.

Chris:

Yeah, I'm just assuming that you would be able to, I don't know, I have no idea, I would be lost. Even if dropped in 1987, I would be lost, I wouldn't be able to do a thing. But yeah, to the extent of this obsession and it was like that for a period of time. And I want to say it was something like two years.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. I don't, I have no

Chris:

concept of time. And then nothing. And then nothing. And then abruptly it was, we're done with that. We've moved on. Now we're obsessed with building muzzle loaders. I was just going to say guns. So we're on the same timeline.

Sarah (2):

We

Chris:

remember. Okay. Where it, and it, it wasn't like, Oh, let's just put that on the back burner for a very important and significant reason. It was, I don't even want to talk about it anymore. You know what I want to talk about? Muzzle loaders. here's my 15 books on muzzle loading and here are my bars of lead that I'm gonna have to melt down in the garage around my children who are young. Let me make some molten lead in the garage and let them touch it all over. Think about how much smarter we would be if we didn't get exposed to burning lead when we were little. I'm not going to give us that much credit. I'm going to claim it. I'm good. I feel like I was probably exposed more than you were then. You were smaller. You were still a tinier brain. More moldable and shapeable, but that way that was like the kind of closed door of it. And as I was going through like the attention deficit symptoms and all of the checklists They're like, do you have a lot of hobbies that you are very into obsessively into for specific durations and then when you are done with those hobbies you never Touch that hobby again, and I'm looking over here in my house because there's a closet of dead hobbies. There is a closet of giant, giant yarn

that I was going

Chris:

to, that I was going to crochet with my hands. There's a, also in there are several boxes of knitting needles, even though I'd like dabble again, but the level of obsession

that

Chris:

the ADD brain will latch onto something to the exclusion of everything else. Makes me laugh more than anything else about, about ADD. I can't remember to take my medicine every day, but I will obsessively sit down, write a crochet pattern from a book into my electronic tablet so that I can have it with me. All the time. During the day. that is the, but I don't know where my car keys are right now.

Sarah (2):

No idea. Priorities. It's priorities. Yeah, I did the glitter cups. I've had a thousand obsessions, but one of the latest was the glitter cups a few years ago. I guess it was like five years ago, but when I decided I was done with that shit and the amount of fucking money I put into that shit, I packed it all up. And my friend, Erin, who makes the cups now, she came over and got it and was like, how much money do you want? I was like, I don't want any. I want you to get it out of my sight. That's what I want you to do. I

Chris:

don't want it. It will forever live in this old craft graveyard. Yep.

Sarah (2):

I want nothing to do with it. Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. then, Daddy, and I think some of his hobbies came from when he was laid off. the next one I remember, I think it's the basket weaving when Mommy had the shop. Think and then meat cutting

Chris:

meat

Sarah (2):

cutting.

Chris:

I think meat cutting preceded. No. No, I think you're right I think yeah basket weaving it used to be like it used to be a joke, right? if you were like a dumb athlete, that's what you would major in college. what's he majoring? No basket weaving, bro Yeah But there was a there was an actual kit that you could buy at the craft corner in Elizabeth back in the day That was wood and then you would get a bucket and you would stoke the wood in the bucket and it was hard to

Sarah (2):

it Wasn't very easy,

Chris:

right? And it like it would make your hands feel all weird Yeah, like when we're talking about crafts, I mean in the world of crafts I think I'm gonna go with the Sharon Schnitta Over the basket weaving any day

Sarah (2):

any day. He made some like really dad. He's a creative dude So that's where all this comes from, but he made some pretty cool ass of baskets Were, because I think that's, he'd order the catalogs and go through and order the different kits, and then I gotta test it out. I feel like he would save like extra shit and then build something outta that. ah, yes. Yeah.

Chris:

Yeah. and I think that this is one of the, one of the ways that I'm not mad, about the way that my brain is, I love the fact that I can get so into something. You might remember, my obsession with CrossFit at one point.

Sarah (2):

yeah, you couldn't, I think I tried to divorce you as my sister. I don't know exactly how, I tried to emancipate myself. I don't know. You're like, please. I tried to null and void our relationship over CrossFit. My favorite thing about CrossFit, though, is that mommy and daddy started making fun of you.

I was like, you guys,

Chris:

guess what happened? Guess what happened? You guys, I lifted the weights, and then I did a snatch and then, and then, somebody, I have to go, I can't do anything with you guys this weekend because there is a guy, like a special guy, an important guy, and he's coming in from Ohio and he's going to teach us how to do the clean and jerk. Yeah. I gotta be at the box.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, it was a lot. It was fine. I wasn't. Don't get me wrong. I'm all about CrossFit. That's awesome. I'm not talking shit on that. I am talking about the fact that. You literally, every five seconds, CrossFit, something CrossFit. I would call you crying about something. You'd be like, but listen. Guess what I did? Let me tell you about CrossFit. And it would actually make me feel better, because then I'd just feel bad for you.

Chris:

thank God I don't have to do that. every friend that I had was from CrossFit. Every person that I interacted with was from CrossFit. like my whole day was. It's centered around when I was going to do CrossFit. Yeah. I'm like, oh, you know what? There's times where I can't make it to the box. So I'm going to buy myself a whole getup I can put

Sarah (2):

in my garage. You had a whole setup in the garage? there's worse things that you could be obsessed with. like heroin. Yeah. I don't know. it would be less annoying. I don't know.

Chris:

I wouldn't be as annoyed. If I was doing meth, you would have been like God, at least she's quiet.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, at least she's quieter

Chris:

now than when she was doing goddamn CrossFit. CrossFit. so yeah, that is the, that is one of the things that I enjoy about, inherited neurodivergence is that it gave me the ability to focus on that, that one thing. And, yeah, it was fun while I wanted to do it and then I didn't want to do it. And I never talked about it again. Never. literally one day I was like, I don't have time to go today. And then I never went again.

Sarah (2):

And then he went to Japan, was it Japan? Right after that. And then that was the next, like you talked about Japan constantly and that guy. I don't know why our daddy was like, so Japan's the new CrossFit.

Chris:

Yes. That is exactly what happened. I was like, oh my God, you guys, when I was in Japan.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. And that's what I, that's what I relate, CrossFit and Japan.

Chris:

Oh, goodness gracious. so there you go. Jumbo, thank you so much for delivering the spicy brain. Yeah. And making me the obsessive, yet funny and for a very fixed and short period of time person that I

Sarah (2):

am. Yeah. I dig it. I dig it. We mentioned he did the meat cutting. I can't remember what else he did. The picture frame shit was probably the longest and one of the only things he really made money on. And he was really good at it. I feel like I, we have to call that out. Like he was really good at it. Not just like throwing a mat on something like he did intricate designs and shit on the mats. It was. That was a fun one to watch. And then when he retired, he became a picker. He was a, first, first he was a day trader. Oh, yeah, I remember he was day trading and then he did the laundry up for a day and then he went back to day trading. Because that was right when the internet started.

Chris:

He was like, oh my god. Have you seen this page called the Motley Fool?

Sarah (2):

Yeah. Yeah, that was his crossfit. He retired, how old was he when he retired? 55. Yeah, that's absurd. Think about that. I'm 52. Yeah, no, I will, I'll be working when I'm his age right now, which is 78. We keep buying these fucking houses. Damn it. We'll never not have a mortgage. Bad choices. Bad choices.

Chris:

We're gonna put up a link to buy t shirts from us. Yeah. Yeah, we

Sarah (2):

need help. Yeah. One of these days we'll sell t shirts.

Chris:

Anyway, why don't you, why don't you get us into the new book? Cause I'm excited to talk about it. Cause I feel like it ties in stuff that we just read with stuff that we've read like early on. Yeah. Mid

Sarah (2):

range stuff. Yeah, 100%. so anybody who doesn't know Our new book is the book by Mel Robbins, the, Let Them Theory. So it's pretty popular these days. I'm going to talk today about the introduction of the book, in the first section of the book, which is called the Let Them Theory. Crazy. And chapter one, which is stop wasting your life on things you can't control, which how many times have we heard this, it's never enough. Continue to do it. Cause I still can't do it anyway. Chapter two, getting started the let them plus let me. So I really like, like that one and I have a shit ton of notes, so I'll do my best to not just read word for word and include everything. The first thing I want to talk about though, is Mel Robbins and her story. Because there's a part of me that walks away from the introduction saying, I can still do this. I can still fucking be something. I can still be amazing. I can change everything. Because speaking of, and I feel like the gaster story of the week goes with it. Because she was a lot like I feel I was, jumping around from jobs. she was an attorney, so that's a little different, but jumping around from jobs and like trying different things all the time and just could never figure out what she wanted to be when she grew up. And I was like, yeah, it's me. That's me. and at the age of 41. she found herself and her family in a shit ton of debt, like 800 grand worth of debt and, no job. So I was like, besides the job thing, and I don't have that much of debt. I was like, wow, that's, that all sounds really familiar.

Chris:

That feels, yeah, it feels like every key intersection in your life. Yeah. Yeah.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. we've done great work on the debt. Like we've, we're doing awesome things there. We've done awesome things. but the whole just job hopping, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. all of that shit and I've come a long way in that in just a year, but that all hit it, hit a chord, struck a chord. And so she got to a place where she was stuck and I was like, Oh, I hear ya. And she said something in the book that I was like, yep. That makes sense too. She said the funny thing about being stuck is that you know exactly what you need to do. you're not really stuck, because you know exactly what you need to do to fix it. You need to get your ass out of bed, you need to pay your fucking bills, you need to find a job. these are all things that you know that you can do. And I was like, true, interesting. this is her first genius, is that she came up with the 5 second rule for herself. And she decided that she was going to stop fucking around, and when she felt like putting something off, she was just going to count down from 5, and then you have to do it. So instead of hitting snooze, The alarm goes off, 5, you get out of bed, you got to do what you got to do. And she, this really helps, she got on a track, she got a job, like things were going much better. here's where I'm like, you, what the fuck? Damn it. She's invited, and the way, I love the way she tells the story though. She's I was invited to do a speech about changing jobs or changing careers or some shit like that, like just a speech, whatever. She talks about how she goes out, has a complete panic attack for 21 solid minutes while she's giving this speech, loses everything she was going to say, and blurts out the five second rule. Great, she has a panic attack on stage. Yeah, she has a panic attack. She can't think of anything else to say, so she's here's what I do. And she's been doing this for two years and thought never to share it with anybody. And she blurts out the five second rule and then gets off stage and she's thank God that is over. Fuck. That was the worst experience of my whole entire life. Turns out she wasn't just doing a speech. It was one of the first TED Talks. It was a very early TED Talk, right? Like you just got invited. that's just like someone, like your buddy just asked you, hey, I want to give you a speech. Anyway, so this, it took off from there, which is awesome. And I think it's a great rule. That was our first book, The 5 Second Rule. I have been trying to employ it in my life, this week, just simply by not hitting the snooze button. So I'm happy to report that, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week, I 1'd my ass out of bed. However, on Sunday, I was so worried about it and anxious about it that I literally woke up 18, 000 times throughout the night. Like I do when I'm anxious about flying, like I can't sleep. that's all I could think about in my sleepy brain was 5, 4, And I would wake up and I'd be like, 5, no, I don't have to do it yet. I don't have to do it yet. Oh

Chris:

my

Sarah (2):

God. That's hilarious.

Chris:

So have you been 5, ing? No, because it turns out there's a chaos gremlin that lives in my head that's like you're smarter than 5 4 3 2 1 and That intelligent, chaos gremlin is like, it would be really good for you to get out of bed right now. You could get your day started. You could do some stuff. But 5,

Sarah (2):

Fuck you. It's not, and I think she says it in there and it's something that we say all the time. It's not easy. it's simple. Sounds super simple. But it's not easy. you have to push yourself to do it. And it's all about, again, Getting into small little consistent habits and you're using the 5 4 3 2 1 to do those habits instead of being like, oh, yeah I have one of him make this habit of working out, but I don't feel 5 4 3 2 1 go do it and the one thing I wrote down here is that she noted that along the way She heard a lot of feedback about the five second rule And one of the things that they found is that it was actually used by over a thousand people to stop themselves from attempting suicide. Love it.

Chris:

It's so brilliant. this one was really like, reading this really brought together like two separate things that we'd been, that we'd been talking about. It brought together those atomic habits, those things that you can link to make stuff happen. taking my medicine in the morning when I drink my coffee, like that works. Being able to get up out of bed for me is about scheduling the day. Like I have to get up at 6. 30 because I have shit to do at 7. Yeah, like that is gonna get me out of bed way more than 1 you have shit to do at 7 It's on your calendar It's like those are the things that get me to do these things and the chaos gremlin in my head can't argue With a calendar invite like he just yeah, he's not successful. I found another thing but let me fit The 5 4 3 2 1 is also about moments, right? Like when we're thinking about the meditation, where we're thinking about being mindful, the trick is to give yourself the five seconds to say, Hey, just make the good decision, right? Five, four, don't let anything else in your brain kind of short circuit you. And the same thing with keeping prevent, the opposite end of the spectrum with preventing, preventing you from making a very bad decision. give yourself the heartbeat to the. to think about what your next move is. That's the mindful piece of it. You don't have to, you don't, 5, 4, don't like 2, 1, put that down and walk away. 1, go do something productive and, beneficial. Give yourself like that time. I just found it really interesting that those two things can connect in, in

Sarah (2):

the next book that we're reading. yeah, it seems to have worked out perfectly. And this one was a last minute switch. We were going to do a different one,

which we will eventually,

Sarah (2):

but what's that? They listened last week. They know we were going to do a different book. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're used to it. Yeah, we probably did mention that we were going to do a different one, but yeah, we switched it up. We switched it up. the other thing that she mentioned in the introduction is another one that involves five, which I liked. I like patterns of things. but anyway. giving yourself a high five in the mirror. I was like, what? What? What? So I forget exactly what she was talking about, but she said. That it's one of the fastest ways to rewire your mindset for self confidence is to give yourself a high five in the mirror. I haven't tried it, but I feel like I need to give myself a high five way more. I think every time I go in the bathroom, I should high five myself. And it makes me giggle and I can't see myself doing it. But then again, I couldn't see myself meditating. Meditating.

Chris:

there again, the chaos gremlin in the back of my mind, the sarcastic one who's yeah, I would, why would you ever want to meditate? It seems stupid. the one who's five, four, three, two, one, fuck off, the same one is like, how is this going to help? Like the chaos gremlin that's always looking for that scientific reason, like atomic habits make sense because I can draw the connections and I can, so I do think there's

Sarah (2):

scientific shit behind both of these. I

Chris:

do too. But. If it's not,

Sarah (2):

we didn't really dig into it, but that's also something that she started doing later and then was like, wow, there's, wow, why does this work? Let me find out why this works. So she digs into that shit. So that's the intro. That's how Mel Robbins has gone from the age of 41 being in a shit ton of debt to what is she? 50 something now and being gazillionaire. Brilliant. Making a huge difference in so many lives, especially now that she's gaining popularity and with the book and her podcast and all of that, she's fucking killing it. I really liked that. I liked it. It's never too late. We can do it. We can kill it. We can help people. We can do shit. We can do good shit. So chapter one is stop wasting your life on things you can't control. So what did we learn that we can't control? Other people's opinions. Yay! ding, you get a gold star. Yay! yay! So it's, it talks about how again, the problem isn't you. The problem is the Power that you give other people and their opinions over you. And most of us do this in an unknowingly manner, which we've talked about already. And the let them theory really is about freeing yourself from trying to manage other people. And how they control themselves around you and how they form their opinions about you. So it's really all about the freedom aspect of things. They're freeing you from these burdens of trying to control other things and other people. And the major thing about this is when you think about it, it's not like It's not like people just, they don't have power over you unless you give them that power. you're giving them that power constantly, and that's something that before we started doing all of this, I never even realized it. And it all makes so much

Chris:

sense. It's when we start talking about giving other people power over us, it's that goes right back to other people's opinions and being, in, in being afraid to do things because what if, what if. So it ties so perfectly into that, and it ties into, oddly, a movie we've talked about on here before. you remember Labyrinth with David Bowie? Yeah, he had a potato in his pants. He did. It was Olivia's first crush. Yeah, he came from the ballet. He leaped right off the ballet stage right into my home. Yeah. But there's a line in there where she's through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, blah, blah, blah. I've made my way here and the secret to her being able to like, do the brave and scary thing that, that she has to do in this epic fantasy movie is, she says, you have no power over me. And like everything, everything goes back to the way that it should be. Everything changes. And I, I think that's just the reason that line sticks with so many people is because we constantly give other people the power, right? We constantly do that.

Sarah (2):

I think it's just a human nature kind of thing. It's just, that's what we're hardwired to do. Where the

Chris:

science comes in.

Sarah (2):

Yeah.

Chris:

Yeah,

Sarah (2):

for sure.

Chris:

The science comes in and tells us, the reason we try to do that is because that's how we get along, right? That's how we make a tribe. That's how we, that's how we make sure that, that we're part of the group. Sometimes that serves us and sometimes it doesn't. Like we talked about all through the FOPO book.

Sarah (2):

Yeah.

Chris:

It's nice when the, when those inclinations are to do good things for other people who are in your tribe, being able to share and extend. But you have to. You have to take care of yourself first, and when you're constantly paralyzed for fear of doing something wrong and fear of getting rejected, then it's really hard. So yeah, I love it when it all comes together. Hannibal on the A team. I thought you meant Hannibal Lecter. Yeah,

Sarah (2):

I do

Chris:

a Chianti.

Sarah (2):

Wow, that's interesting.

Chris:

No,

Sarah (2):

the A team.

Chris:

I love it when a plan comes together.

Sarah (2):

I thought the prom story was pretty cool, like where it all came from, especially having a 15 year old and knowing how he functions, and it's maddening, absolutely maddening. So the short cliff notes of where the let them theory came from is that Mel Robbins has, I think, three kids, two daughters and a son. The son's the youngest. She went through proms with the daughters, and daughters, they're, they planned for months. And everything was taken care of. Her son decided to go to the prom like the week earlier, and he didn't even have a date. this is all yeah, last minute, so she is getting all this shit ready, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. they go to take pictures. It starts to downpour. So this is just another man, nobody here has an umbrella. Nobody's planning for this. Then they start talking about where they're going to go to dinner. And she was like, you guys don't know where you're going to dinner? you don't have reservations. You don't have plans. And her son was like, no, mom, just leave it alone. Just leave it alone. Like he was already mad because he told her not to bring the corsage and she did that. It's just, yeah. she gets on her phone, just like other moms, and they're all, looking for a place that'll accept a reservation for 20 or whatever they had. And she can't find anything. And she's trying to like, why don't you do that? And he's Mom, just leave it, no, leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. And finally, her daughter interjected and was like, Mom, let them. She was like, what are you talking about? I can't just let them. They want to go to McDonald's. I can't just, it's their, I can't let them. She's if that's what they want to do, let them. And then they have to go out in the rain to go run to the car and she's Oh, his new shoes. Look at her dress. And they need, we need to find Umbrella and the daughter's just let them, if that's what they want, let them. And that's where it all started. It's I

Chris:

love this story so much because it is about the, I wish you guys could see the face I'm making, but like the iron grip that we feel like we have to have on everything before we feel good. And the fact that. Oh my gosh, I am a quote machine today, but yeah, if you will recall Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder. Yeah, I won't recall because I never watched Days of Thunder. What? But you're missing out. You're missing out. Oh, and I'm wrong. It's not Tom Cruise. It is Nicole Kidman. When speaking with Tom Cruise's character, Cole Trickle, and she says in her adorable Australian accent, Cole, control is an illusion. And I was like, I'll be darned, how am I getting a philosophical nugget like this from fucking Days of Thunder?

Sarah (2):

Yeah, it's true.

Chris:

Control is an illusion. It's definitely

Sarah (2):

true. But that's what it's all about. And that's why I think of things like, I can, Owen, okay, so what are you guys doing? I don't know. Who's picking you up? I'm not sure. are you going to the soccer game? Yeah, I think. who's taking you? Cause I can't. I think Scott. Will you think Scott? Or do you know Scott? Yeah, I think Scott. Okay, but do you know Scott? what is your plan? What time is he picking you up? I don't know. I'm going to guess, game starts at 7, so pick me up at 645 maybe. What's maybe? Why? Why can't, can you not just give me the specifics of what is going on? And this is where I was like, wow, this is so very relatable. And I love the fact that this is where it started was just a very super relatable thing that all of us parents go through in trying to have that control when. It's not necessary all the time, we'll get to that caveat, but these are things that we just have to let go and she found that, putting this little nugget into play, moving along, that she was like, Oh, wow, this is really, this is something else and people around her husband was like, you seem a lot happier, like few weeks after this, cause she was just letting it go, letting that control go and trying to, the concept is pouring. Your energy more into what you can't control, which again, we've talked about is you and how you react and How you're curious about things instead of automatically shutting the door on things It's all about how you decide to deal with the things that come at you so next part of this we'll get into chapter two, but The major thing here is the let them is just the one part and it seems super simple which like everything else

Chris:

Yeah, like everything else. There's that right that balance, right? there are situations where you can't be like let them yeah When Olivia was one and we had her little birthday cake and that she was trying to grab the candle and David's you know Let her she'll just say it'll burn her hand. She'll learn I was like that seems like no extreme idea maybe we back Pull that back a little bit. Seems like I could help her

Sarah (2):

out with that.

Chris:

Maybe I tell her no a couple times and then she'll try it when I'm not looking. And then she'll learn. But yes, it seems hard. No, it seems easy. let them. Oh, this will be the easiest one. Done. I don't even need to read the book. But it is, again, you get it. There's so much more

Sarah (2):

to it. this is just laying out the beginning of it and where it comes from. But the next part of it is let me. So if you're just stopping at the let them. You're not gonna get out of this anything and you're probably gonna find yourself pretty lonely in everything that you do. have to counter it with a let me. we go into Chapter two, which is called getting started and it's let them plus let me. she tells a social media story about how she gets on to Facebook, whatever, and she sees a group of friends went on a girl's trip and she was like, oh, that's so nice. And then realized, yeah, I wasn't included. Yeah. So she's on the social media and she sees her friends went on a, a, girl's trip and she wasn't included. So immediately her brain goes to, what did I do? Did I do something? Are they mad at me? what do I need to do? Another long story short, it comes back to, she was worrying about these things and putting things into other people's brains and it wasn't even true stuff, right? This was funny because ROT. there was something on Facebook and I was like, Oh, I wasn't invited.

But yeah.

Sarah (2):

Wow. And so not like to that extent, but same situation because as she's thinking about it, she was like, wait a second. What was the last time I reached out to these people? What was the last time we really hung out? Like these are women that we spent a lot of time together when our kids were younger, but since then work has taken over. I haven't had time. That's not it. And to them, it's not, it wasn't personal. They didn't think, Hey, you know what we'll do? We won't invite Mel. It wasn't personal. That's not what it was about. And that kind of, so it comes back to that. You just have to look at that and say, okay, That's the let me part of it, okay, so I can sit here and say, let them do whatever, let them do whatever, let them do whatever, and be pissy about it, but then you have to come back and say, wait a second, and reeval, reevaluate what you're gonna do, and then this is the point where you're like, oh, check myself, I haven't done anything remotely close to being their friend. So what am I going to do about it? Do I feel bad enough that I'm going to reach out to them and try to make the, is that how it's going to go? Or am I just going to walk away and it's fine. But that's, I don't know how, I don't think I'm explaining it well enough, but the let me part of it is taking control, you taking control of what you can do.

Chris:

It comes back and this is why I was geeked to, to read this book and read the intro and in this first part. Because, again, if you think about, one of the main messages of the subtle art of not giving a fuck was about responsibility. Like, I can be butthurt because somebody excluded me from something on Facebook. Or, I can look at that and be like, good for you, off, off you go. If I want to go on girls trips with friends, what do I need to do to make that happen? obviously, it's not going to be with those girls, so I can either be like, Alright, fair dues, I'll say hey to you when I see ya out, but what do I need to do to make it so I can go? how can I, take control of that? How can I take responsibility for making my life what I want my life to be? And then take steps to do that. Join a book club, learn how to knit, reach out to people that you haven't talked to, and make the assumption that it. The reason that this is happening is something that, that, that isn't a direct result of people out to get me, but is a direct result of things that, that I can then identify and take control of. Exactly.

Sarah (2):

And you can have the proper reaction to instead of just being pissed off and letting it eat away at you. And that's what. That was a big thing that, if she wasn't able to do this, she knows that she would have festered on this for days, which is exactly what I would do.

Right.

Sarah (2):

And what was funny about this is the thing on Facebook that I saw, I was like, Oh yeah, man. And then I was like, wait a second. When was the last time you talked to these girls? Oh, for a year. Why would I be invited? And there's it was just, it was so dumb. So dumb. But I love talking about this and the things that we've already read, a thing that she pointed out here is that the theory isn't, it's not just hacking your mindset. It's rooted in a lot of the ancient philosophies and psychological concepts that we've talked about. Like stoicism. Is that how you say it? Because it seems wrong. Stoicism. Which is, yeah, which is basically focus on yourself because there is where your true power lies. And then Buddhism, which helps you not only accept reality, but also separate yourself from the need to change everything. The Detachment Theory. Which is to create a mental gap between your emotions and the situation at hand, allowing yourself to observe what's happening without being consumed. Which to me, was just automatically meditation. taking a thought, throwing it out.

Chris:

It's that pause. Yeah. It's that pause and giving yourself that space to make the right decision.

Sarah (2):

Exactly. And then, I wrote a bunch of shit down. Okay, the next thing that I absolutely loved was the seesaw visual. do you recall the seesaw visual? Okay, so you have a seesaw. And you're on one end. And all the other people. So in this particular case, if we go back to the social media thing, she's on one end and all her friends are over here. So when you're not using the let me part of things, Or let them part of things, you're creating all this weight on yourself and you weigh down that seesaw and therefore you're giving them all this power above you. So what you need to do, then you come in and you say, let them fuck it, let them. And that reverses that and gives you a little bit, a little boost of superiority. I don't need them. I don't need that. And it reverses it. So now you're up here. But then what happens when you're up here all the time and you're just on your high horse? That's not too fun all the time. So then you have to bring the let me part of it in and that's what brings everybody to their level playing ground. And that's what levels out the seesaw, which I thought was really, I liked that illustration in the book. I thought that was really cool. So let me see. So yeah, without, I'm going to read this because I thought this was good. Without them, others are over you. You have the heavy side by your own doing. You're letting the others have power over you. With let them, you're freed from that weight and the seesaw teeters in the other direction, leaving you in the superior role, but then you're stranded in your superiority. So you have to go to the let me, which brings everything onto that level playing field. And then this is where awareness comes back into it. Which goes back to the meditating and all of that and doing that gap that you give yourself time to breathe. And in saying that, it's all about giving other people grace and space to live their lives and then giving yourself the same. and a few things like let them stop expecting, let them, me, take responsibility. Let me take responsibility. Let me be more proactive. Let me develop. Let me prioritize. Let me reach out.

Chris:

Yeah, I think every single one of these things is the secret, right? It's being able to say, I have responsibility for my own life. I don't have responsibility for all of the bad things that have happened in my life, but I have the responsibility to react and adjust to those things. I don't have the responsibility if I go out here and get into a car accident and end up with, horrific injuries. I have the responsibility to mold and shape my life based on that happening to me. That is how I grow as a person. I have the responsibility to look around me all the time and be like, I don't particularly care for this or I don't mind this because I'm getting a lot of opportunities to learn, right? this sucks for right now, but I know that I'm learning and I know that I'm growing. If I'm able to take responsibility for, if I'm in this situation, And I'm like, wow, this is so totally. F'd up and I'm so worried about it because somebody is impacting me, somebody is making these horrific decisions and I'm like, I don't understand what you're doing right now, right? like my, my, my boss at work is making bad decisions and making my life a struggle. okay, you got a couple of options, you can take responsibility for where you are in that situation, and you can say, alright, I don't have to control what you're doing, boss. This is, you are impacting my life in a way that makes it this way, so I'm gonna let you do you. You do you, you act the way that you're gonna act, you make decisions that you're gonna make, you're gonna deal with the consequences of that, what I have to do is deal with the consequences of the situation that I'm in, right? it's this full circle theory that pulls everything into kind of a nice, neat little package. I'm super excited to read the next couple of chapters.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, me too. she ends this section with two warnings or two questions. Does the theory apply to children? and like I said earlier, yes, but there are caveats and, what we're going to be focusing on in the book is adulthood. and she'll be touching upon it throughout the book. Like we're talking adults here, right? So there will be a mention of that. and then the next one was, what if the theory makes you lonely? let them. So now I'm lonely because I let everybody let them. then you need to recess how you're using it because you're using it wrong. You're not doing the second step. You're not pulling the let me into it. So these are the things that you need to keep in mind throughout the book. We're gonna be focusing on adulthood throughout the book. It's really important that we're talking about let them and let me and we're focusing on both of them to have that equilibrium,

Chris:

Yeah. Yeah. this is lovely

Sarah (2):

and This is,

Chris:

this is

Sarah (2):

lovely, this is lovely. So next week you are going to run the show and you're going to take us into the second session which is called You and the Let Me Theory, Chapter 3, which I'm super excited about especially because of the name. The name of it is Shocker, Life is Stressful, Who Knew? Amazing. Chapter 4 is Let Them Stress You Out. So I'm assuming the next section is a little bit about stress and how we're going to use the Let Them Theory to drive us through it. So that's it.

Chris:

No, I love it. I really do enjoy picking and pulling from the, our past stuff. and tying it in, it's one of my favorite parts of doing this. It's one of the reasons I wanted to do it this way, because I was able to make like super weird connections between the subtle art of not giving a fuck and Brene Brown. I was like, what if there's something here? What if all of these dumb ass self help book reading books that I've been reading and leaving on the shelf and going, Oh, interesting. What a fantastic theory. What if there's something there? What if there's me on this phone? Yeah.

Sarah (2):

That'd be great. And that's what, I originally didn't want to go into Let Them because I felt it's just another book of, what we're doing, and it is. But I think that's the most important thing is that this is a practice that we have to get used to, that this is something that is going to be part of our lives for the rest of our lives. It's not like we, you read that one book. the subtle art of giving a fuck, yeah, it's awesome, and then you put it on the shelf and go about your life. yeah, that's how you're not changing anything. So if you continue to stack these things, it's like the habit stacking. You're just continuing to find new ways, different ways, and find that you can intertwine them and make it work for you. Exactly. Exactly.

Chris:

000 different books out there on how to lose weight. There he is. Macho.

Sarah (2):

There he is. He just woke up. Perfect time.

Chris:

Yeah. There's 10, 000 different ways to lose weight, a hundred different books on it. And this is the same. There's only one way to lose weight and it's to find the thing that works for you, that will help you lose weight.

Sarah (2):

And I feel like she set the stage for that at the beginning when she said, you know what's funny about when you're stuck, you know what to do, like we know what to do, but we need to continue to reinforce these things and we need to continue to surround ourselves with things that will help us do these things because just because we know what to do, doesn't make it easy.

Chris:

And for me, it always comes back to finding the stuff that's important to you. what is the important thing that I'm going to let them, what is the important thing that I'm going to take responsibility for? What are the things that are annoying, but I just don't care enough? Fine, we, you can, I'll be annoyed about those, but what do I want to really lay into? and that's how you, I think that's how you move the needle.

Sarah (2):

I like it, move the needle. we're gonna wrap up, before we wrap up though, a few things. On April 4th, our anniversary party, Craft house, stage and grill. Check out old school online, check out their music. It's going to be pretty awesome. Super excited about it. If you could please, if you're interested in coming and joining us, shoot us an email, remember gastergirls at gmail. com. Even if you're not going to come join us, send us an email and tell us that, our email address, that's pretty cool. In addition to that, find us on Facebook if you haven't already, The Mental Funny Bone. Do we have a handle on Facebook? I don't know how it works. I don't know what a handle is. Just look up The Mental Funny. Yeah, I'm not really sure. Becca said it the other day, so I felt like I knew what I was talking about. she's cool. And we are working, Becca is working tirelessly to help us get some other social media things set up. Instagram, TikTok, Substack. I don't know what other shit I don't know what the kids are doing these days. Yeah. I can tell you we won't be on X. That's for sure. Okay. So that's it. We're going to wrap it up. Till next week. Keep on laughing and What? Before you say the tagline. That was it. I was just going to say keep on laughing.

Chris:

Hey, if you guys could, if you guys could go to the social media things or the podcast things or wherever you're listening to this. Yeah, that's it. That's it. If you could like it and subscribe and tell a friend. Yeah. We're, we are endeavoring to give you guys some good stuff to listen to. And it turns out if you're feeling a bit shy about sharing the fact that you listen to a comedy mental health podcast, People dig it. Turns out I've, I've, gotten over my shyness and shared it with a bunch of people and people that I did not expect to, to really like it have come up and said, Hey, I listened to your podcast. And then they followed it up with, it was funny. So I like when that

Sarah (2):

happens. That's awesome. But yeah, so wherever you listen to your podcast, make sure you subscribe to the podcast, like the podcast, share the podcast, and also go on YouTube and subscribe there. Yeah, definitely. All

Chris:

you guys. all right. What is that? keep on laughing. Keep laughing. Have a good week. Keep laughing.

Sarah (2):

We'll figure out something to end. Yeah, we're gonna, yeah. All right. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye.

People on this episode

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Christine Kanalis

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Sarah Leibhart

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