The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 44: Networking 101

• Gaster Girls • Season 4 • Episode 9

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**Here's a YouTube video courtesy of Vihan Chelliah with the "Man in Arena" speech from Teddy Roosevelt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iD4_o9vi4X0

Sarah and Christine welcome you to another fun-filled episode of 'The Mental Funnybone,' where mental wellness meets hearty laughter. 

The Fan Mail Segment covers a resurgence of positive feedback from old favorites: Elaine C., Ryan and The #1 Boner Kim D.  

The Gaster Story of the Week features the duo sharing their favorite successes and failures on the soccer field. 

The pair weaves in their life observations from Chris’ conference time in Orlando and Sarah shares insights on how Life360 can ruin a surprise and her time spent with the family in Chicago. 

As always, the episode transitions to deeper discussions about mental health. Sarah opens up about recent anxiety and shares her methods for coping, including meditation. The sisters reflect on redefining self-perception and the importance of being curious—valuable insights from 'The First Rule of Mastery'.  They wrap up by highlighting the importance of recognizing whose opinions truly matter in life and the impact of being mindful. 

Tune in for another episode mixing humor and heartfelt conversations!

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Sarah (2):

Hello and welcome to the Mental Funnybone, where we strive to create a safe and entertaining space where listeners can explore mental health topics, find solace, and enjoy laughter. We also aim to destigmatize mental health discussions and empower individuals to approach their own well being with humor and openness. I am Sarah.

Chris:

And I'm Christine. Neither of us are mental health professionals. Neither of us is, neither of us are, neither of us are. grammar, police.

Sarah (2):

I do have a coffee mug that says I'm silently correcting your grammar though. I wish you

Chris:

would fucking help me right now.

Sarah (2):

We are not mental health professionals. If you need a mental health professional, dial pound 988 on your phone, on your cellular telephone, or head to our show notes and click on one of those links.

Chris:

Or Sarah, this week, what you could do is find, find your copy of the Mon Valley Independent and as a part of the, their feature article with us. it is the, it'll list all of the mental health resources we have in our show notes.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. You can do that. And also I just realized I said pound instead of hashtag, right? Is it a hashtag or a pound? what do you? It's

Chris:

both. If you're Becca, it's a hashtag. If you're your mom, it's a pound sign. Pound nine, eight, eight, all the kids that listened to this. So Olivia and one of her friends, what are we pounding? Where's Lucas? All right, guys. I just, just a little preface. I would like to thank the AC hotel in Orlando for providing my background today. I am attending the biggest, fancy ass conference for, for my profession. I am once again, blown away by the, by the number. of men with shaved heads and tiny glasses and very tight fitting pants that are required to make the pharmaceutical industry run. It

Sarah (2):

is amazing to me. I can't. They're real tight on their ankles and then they have like big shoes that are skinny toes and I don't, huge shoes. It's so against everything that I've. that I grew up with. Like I just can't.

Chris:

The shirts are very tailored. some of them are hip and trendy. So they are wearing jeans. you can clearly say where there was a directive from a high up in the organization that we are, we're going. We're going casual men. Wear your jeans

Sarah (2):

and your untuck it shirt. Oh, I like it. The untuck it shirt. Do they have their, what's it called? I was going to say blazer. I feel like that's what women wear a blazer. Sport coat. Sport coat. Yes. That's it. I feel like that's the, that's the attire that's necessary these days.

Chris:

And for us gals, if you will, it's a blazer. You must wear a blazer. I

Sarah (2):

love a blazer. I love a good blazer.

Chris:

Mine was, mine was teal today because we went a little off brand.

Sarah (2):

Ooh, pretty. I have one. I actually have two, but I have one, and that's all. I just have two and I wear them like once a year. but the one that I have, if you look at it, like if you hold it up and you look at the inside, the silky part on the inside is ripped. Because apparently I wore it when I was a little bit bigger and I wasn't hand having it. So I just went

Chris:

fat guy in a little coat, Richard.

Sarah (2):

Yep. That was me. Yep. Yep. That was me.

Chris:

Fat guy

Sarah (2):

in a

Chris:

little

Sarah (2):

coat Yep anyway Continue to tell us about your, your, what's it called? conference.

Chris:

Yeah, it was full of people in this industry. And I think I've mentioned once or twice that this is the biggest, smallest industry in the whole world. So you just keep running into the same people again and again. and I found that. for our little podcast, it is one of the most interesting things that people can talk about. and the nice thing is I was able to say I had a podcast and people are like, Oh yeah, what's it about? And they're expecting you to be like, precious moments, dolls that I collect. And I'm like, Oh no, it's a comedy mental health podcast. And they were like, Ooh. Oh. Interesting. look at the brain on YouTube, look at you guys at doing something worthwhile in your community. and I guess after I've said 19 fart jokes at the conference that the fact that I have a semi serious, semi successful podcast is surprising.

Sarah (2):

That's what I was going to say when we were, when you were trying to figure out what type of podcast you figured that they thought I was going to say, about farts. Because I feel like that's where everything goes to. Like shitting yourself or farts.

Chris:

you hang out with a lot of teenage boys. You hang out with a lot of teenage boys and their moms. I'm at a conference where people are mostly complaining about their back.

Sarah (2):

I also hang out with my husband and his brothers. And every holiday, we time how long it takes to start talking about shit. And it always ends up with a shitting yourself story.

Chris:

You gotta have a hobby.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, it's, and we'll, we'll tell, normally there's a new one throughout the year, but we'll tell the same ones. it's fantastic.

Chris:

All right. And I just want to mention some fan mail that we got.

Sarah (2):

Yeah.

Chris:

If it came directly to the fan mail, and I didn't realize this, for you guys that are older, maybe, when you click on the fan mail, it's gonna want you to send a text message. because it says mail, I was just assuming that we were getting emails, but no, these are text messages. Text message, also, it doesn't, you can't attach a picture. one of our, fans ran into me at Universal Studios in Florida this week.

Sarah (2):

Yeah.

Chris:

I invited him and I knew he would be there. quick shout out to James. I also found out that James is famous, in our industry. Oh. He's, he's 6'4 he looks like a football player. and most of the people at these conferences do not look like that. Oh, alright. he is, he stands out in a crowd and is famous. I didn't understand that until I walked through this conference with him and everyone was like, James. Hey, James. James. James. Oh my God. And one guy, guy ran up to him. Like he was Santa Claus and he's Oh,

there he is.

Chris:

I was

like, what is happening? I can see this. I can hear it. Hey bro. Yeah. Bro. Yeah. It was

Chris:

like. It was like, Oh, the sales bros are having a sales meeting. It's awesome. but James, James likes the podcast. James's wife likes the podcast. Hi Tiff. I met her super fun. Yeah. Just ran into a couple of people who were like, Hey, listen to your podcast, listen to your podcast. So I am hoping, coming out of this conference that, that we can leverage a little bit of that. So

Sarah (2):

I like it.

Chris:

Yeah. It made me feel good. I like it a lot. Good.

Sarah (2):

Do you want me to go to, Oh yeah, we could talk about Chicago and then I'll go to the rest of our fan mail because we actually have a few. I'll go through them quickly. Chicago, Noah and Owen and I went to Chicago to, we also had in tow, Noah's two brothers and our sister in law, so Steven and Danny and Sam. this was hysterical just because all of us are a bunch of cutups and. Sam and I are also both on the Xanax. Owen is on crutches, and we flew. Steven got a new fanny pack for the trip. There was a lot of funniness, and we hadn't even, I hadn't even taken the Xanax yet, and I already peed my pants a few times. but we went to Chicago to surprise Noah's sister, Noah, Jen, and Danny's sister, Noah, Jen, and Danny's Noah, Steve. Okay. We went to surprise Jen for her 50th birthday. Noah's embarrassed because the three of us get on first, like it's Southwest. So I get the pre boarding pass for my anxiety and then Owen had a pre boarding pass because we had his ass in a wheelchair. or it was more like a stroller, I'd like to say so. And he gets a handler with him. So all three of us got to get on first. Noah's 100 percent embarrassed by all of this. Fantastic. So we get there. Jennifer, we are surprising Jennifer. Jennifer does not know that we are going to meet her. She doesn't

Chris:

know who she's getting. Does her husband know? Does anyone in their

Sarah (2):

household know? Ivan and I set it up. Ivan and I set everything up. So we're going to meet her the following day for brunch. This is the plan. I wake up, that was Friday, I wake up on Saturday and I have a text from Jennifer that says, I forget exactly what, Oh, it says, what kind of fuckery is this? And I was like, Oh God. And then I remembered that she put me in a Life360 circle. So Life360 is so fucking incredible. It told her when I landed in Midway. It's so nice of it. So fucking nice of it. huh.

Chris:

I should have warned you. I didn't realize that you did that. Yeah.

Sarah (2):

I didn't remember. What the fuck? I didn't remember. I was like, yeah, cool. I'll see where Jennifer is on her adventures. Like I whatever, didn't know, didn't think about it. So I was like, fuck God. anyway, so I just told her that, we had a work emergency and it was a last minute trip and I was. I wasn't even thinking about it. We should get together. then, so then she sends me a text, she's Hey, Ivan and I are going out to brunch. If you don't have anything going on with your work friends, are you able to meet up with us? And I was like, perfect. This works out well. You guys can drop me off there being my Uber. You guys just duck down if they're there, drop me off and then we can go in and then you guys can surprise her. So that's what we did. It turned out very nice. Yeah. I feel like there's a lot of other things that I should be talking about because Sam mentioned a few times that we were going to, that I was going to mention it on the podcast and I can't remember one of those things. We went to see the big, silver beam. Yeah. We went to see the beam. Yeah. We got lots of pictures. Yeah. I also got that picture taken of my eyeball, which we talked about. My eyeball's very boring. so yeah. Chicago is wonderful. That's it. let's go to fan mail. We're going to get through fan mail because we're trying to make these quicker. And, yeah, anyway, Ryan was our first fan mailer and he titles it number one fan mailer because he knows who he is. He knows. yeah, he, he, when he sent this, he had just listened to the latest episode, which is when I spelled out to the bartender. This was Grandmaster goes to Flagstaff. Also he's very appreciative of the KF mother fucking C. which I don't see why you wouldn't be. He also was in some sort of taekwondo shit and also participated in a karate kid type tournament. Yep. Love it. Did he get a trophy? He doesn't say, he wanted, he said he wanted to acknowledge your black belt, even though that you got kicked in the head. And, P. S. good job, Becca. So he's our number one fan mailer and he recognizes our intern. So we love you, Ryan. We love you, Ryan. Keep them coming. the next one came in from Elaine Cope, who is a former co worker of yours. Is that who that is? Okay. We work together. She's Elaine. Yeah. Elaine, sends us messages quite often. So I'll go ahead and read it. Had a little bit of a slow start to my podcast listening in 2025, but I'm all caught up. I confess a little tear leaked out of my eye at the end of episode 40, when Sarah said she feels like a different person compared to a year ago. yay. I don't want to make you cry like that, but that's

Chris:

anyway. Good tears.

Sarah (2):

You are both an inspiration to me as I listened to all the positive changes you continue to make and admire your dedication to helping each other and anyone else who is struggling with mental health issues in their families. Thank you for your commitment to the process, and for sharing your journey and all the laughs along the way. So thank you, Elaine. We love it. Keep sharing shit. Keep fan melon and let's see who's next. Oh Guess who came back? Yes, Kim motherfucking D Yeah, girl, and she says he heard the title the subject. Is that what they're called for emos? Yeah subject is your boner is here Yep, yep, and she said I heard my name And this boner did not want to disappoint. Love your hairy dog porcupine story. Heard about I heard about the ass scabs right when my Chick fil A drive thru order was ready. The dog butthole story is a classic. Wish I knew Jigs. You should post a pic. Say hi to the intern for me. You guys are classing it up. So yeah, I, so I have to tell you, I made the boys being my son and one of his buddies on the way home from school yesterday, listened to the Jigs butthole story. And I can't tell the story without doing this. poking with my finger because it's funny as fuck like the pink target. Okay.

Chris:

so I, I also have to share that at my very professional conference where we're talking about changing and growing an industry. Please

Sarah (2):

tell me you talked about jigs, jigs butthole.

Chris:

Yes, we did. it came up numerous times. They're like. Somebody would mention, like somebody would come over and be like, Hey, did you know that Christine has a podcast? just stand here for 14 seconds and she'll tell you. like making fun of me and I was like, but, and then somebody would come over and be like, yeah, I listened to it. And there's a fantastic story about her childhood pet. And they were like, tell them. And because I'm a ham and can't say no to a spotlight, I definitely told, the, head of data management at some big pharma company that somebody at a party my parents had chased the dog around, tried to stick their finger in his butthole.

Sarah (2):

I fucking love this. Yeah. I don't know why I'm not running a major

Chris:

corporation now.

Sarah (2):

I was like, I listened to it before I picked the boys up and I had to set it up for them. I was laughing so fucking hard going to pick them up and they got in the car. I was like, you guys have to listen. I'm going to make you listen. It's fucking funny.

Chris:

Becca, make a note. That if someone is coming to the podcast, like if they should start with 42, episode 42 is where you want to go.

Sarah (2):

All right, I'm going to move on. So Gaster's story this week, there's not a lot. I feel like I'm really bad at the Gaster stories anymore. I feel like I can't even think of anything anymore, but I think that we may have shared. A few of these, if not all of them already, but I also wanted to see if you had any, soccer fails and soccer triumphs with jumbo.

Chris:

Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure. do you want, do you want my soccer fail?

Sarah (2):

Yeah, I have two sales and a triumph.

Chris:

Oh, like two truths and a lie.

Sarah (2):

That's exactly what I thought of too.

Chris:

Okay. I think we've talked. We're

Sarah (2):

not breaking ice. We're talking gasters. Let's go.

Chris:

What are we breaking ice for?

Sarah (2):

Ice breakers. Two truths and a lie is an ice breaker. When I have to explain the joke, it makes it not as funny. Actually, it's really fucking funny now. Just cut that out. Oh, no. I am not, no. That is not being cut out. Why are we breaking ice? Do you have a beverage

Chris:

What? is it somebody gonna fall through? I'm not,

okay.

Chris:

Go ahead. soccer successes and soccer failures. so my first failure was, back in the day on the Elizabeth Forward Warriors, varsity soccer team. I Warriors. 100 percent sure that I was going to be the captain of that team, 100 percent sure. There was no, no reason for me not to be the captain of that soccer team. And when it came time to pick captains, I was standing there like ready to accept, like I was standing there with my hand out, just waiting for him. Jack Jacobs, the coach of the varsity lady boyars. Team to hand me my captain band or whatever it is we did back then. I don't even think we had the little ask things. You just, somebody told you were captain, and you got a special picture in the yearbook.

Which

Chris:

I was very much looking forward to. and then he said, that it's not you. And I think because, and because my face is the way that it is, it went from this. And it, I know it's a sound show. It went from very excited to very sad and disappointed and then mad. all in 14 seconds. And and that is, when I went home and I told Jumbo and Jumbo's response was, Meh. Meh.

Sarah (2):

Meh.

Chris:

That's terrible. Can you tell your mom to put more peas in the things? Dad, can you help me? He's so what?

Sarah (2):

Yeah, not everybody gets to

Chris:

be captain.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, it's listen get like just suck it up. Yeah, it's fine. Move on. It's time for dinner. Now,

Chris:

your mom on the other hand was like, Oh, honey. Oh, this is a travesty. Now, who's captain? And I was like, Heather and Shelley are captain. And she was like, oh, It's okay. I don't, it's okay. you're the best. You're the best in all of this, Amber. Oh, it's okay. you're the best. I know you're the best. And your dad was like, so what? Yeah. Tell your mom, make rule for dinner. I'm like, okay, thanks. Thanks. so I think the other, Okay. The other soccer failure, and I haven't really talked about this one, hopefully you can come up with, funny things to get us back on the humor track, but when I was Sophomore. So I had started out my freshman year. I was like the leading scorer at Elizabeth forward high school. I was all set to go to college and score a bunch of goals. And it turns out when you get to college, everybody is the best person on their team. And it's really hard, to do a bunch of things. Turns out I have the touch of an elephant, on the soccer field. And the only position that I was really qualified to play was the, brutal football. left back. I would just break your leg rather than let you squirrel. I'm playing left back in our, sweeper. What was the one in the very back? They don't do this anymore. Sweeper. So I was explaining this

Sarah (2):

to Owen the other night too.

Chris:

when did we get all these new positions? I should keep up with soccer a lot more. anyway, the sweeper was graduating was graduating and the thought was I would just slide on over into that position, and everything would be great. we got to camp that fall and we were playing three days and they're putting me there and I look like a deer caught in headlights. I look like I don't even know how to play soccer. Like I've never been on the field before. Like I have absolutely no concept of how to do anything but play left back now. don't put me anywhere else cause I can't do it. And it was one of the most like humiliating things in my whole life. Like coach Forstie had to look at me like. very confused about what I was doing on the field, and you can clearly see that she had a plan for that, and the expectation was I would just be able to adapt and learn and overcome, and all I did was leave every practice and cry because I didn't know what I was doing, and I was really bad at it. they moved me back to Left Back, where I belong, and they put Twiggy, in AdSweeper, and I remember

her.

Chris:

And it was great. she was really good at it. And I think, ultimately I was just very nervous about being in charge of other people. And, it just shows how much I've grown that I just want to yell at everybody now.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. I feel like you had been good there. But

Chris:

I know I would be great because I would be able to control a defense back then I was like, Oh, I don't deserve this position. And that's what it was. I just didn't have enough confidence to really embrace what needed to happen back there. And it really bothered me for a really long time that I just wasn't up to the task.

I'm sorry.

Chris:

No, it's okay. so I will follow that second failure up with a success story and it's got to be this slippery rock tournament that we talked about a couple of times. Oh yeah. so my little club soccer team coached by Stan Muir, Officer Muir. he, he was a soccer dad. Like he had no, he'd never seen the sport before. I never played it before, but he was our coach from when we were little kids up until high school. And we were going to our last Tournament, I think, because I could drive at this point and, we're at Slipper Rock, all of the, all the, and we're not that great. We're going to lose immediately and Jumbo was counting on us losing so that we could go on vacation, right? So, but we didn't lose. we kept winning like the first game we won. Everyone's Oh, I so good to win. that first win. So nice. And then you play like two games. Two games on, Saturday. So we won the second and the thing was we were supposed to lose. That way we could leave for vacation on Sunday morning or night, like Saturday night, like you were supposed to be done. Yeah, I ruined it. I ruined it. And now we'd won the second one and now we've won too. And we're going to play Sunday. And if we win Sunday morning, then we have to play again on Sunday. And now we're not leaving Slippery Rock until three o'clock in the afternoon to go on vacation. And one of the reasons we kept winning is because I kept my socks on. So we end up winning the entire tournament. So that is four games of soccer with these socks I refuse to change.

Sarah (2):

huh.

Chris:

Yep. And then, I'm like, oh, I'm going to go back and shower it. And your dad lost his mind. He was like, get in the goddamn car,

Sarah (2):

get in the car with your shoes on, with your socks on, get

Chris:

in, tournament. Mindset, right? you want him to do good, but you also want him to lose so you can go home at a reasonable hour.

Sarah (2):

As a parent, I now understand. As a parent. God, I hope we lose this fucking game. please. Get me the fuck out of this cold. please.

Chris:

Oh, I'm so proud of you. Good effort. Let's pack up your stuff. We'll get an ice cream. And then when they score, you're like, yay! Yay! Anyway, so your dad is having none of me showering, and like I said, I had those socks on all weekend. Yeah. from the weekend. Oh, I was there. I know. I know. And we had a car where I would comfortably rest by leaning back in my seat and putting my feet up on his headrest. One on each side of his head. Like I can see him turning his head and smelling. huh. we had to pull over an hour into the trip and put those socks in the trunk.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. It was fucking terrible. I love that's your successful story. I think the successful part of it was you winning, but right. Not, but to talk about, but to talk about your socks. I love it because daddy was disgusted as was I being your little sister and how fucking disgusting your feet were. And I mean it's still, you can take the socks out, the shoes, put them in the trunk, that shit still stunk. That was a good nine hours of stank ass car because of your feet. Were you with us? I don't think you were with us when we went to Ugh, where the hell was it? Seven Springs, and Daddy stepped in duck shit?

Chris:

No. Yeah. I'm with you.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, that was the best. Because as we're pulling out of Seven Springs, we're like, something stinks. Holy shit. There's a dead animal in this car. So it smelled so bad, we had to stop and figure it out, and it was, Daddy's oh, I stepped in something. It must be that duck shit, or whatever. And apparently that duck was eating tar. And then shit it out and it was stuck to his, he could not get it off of his shoe. He threw his shoe away. I'm pretty sure it definitely did not get back in the car. Yeah. He

Chris:

never

Sarah (2):

threw anything away. Yeah. And that shoe was eaten up. That was bad news. The duck shoe, duck, shit, shoe,

Chris:

duck, shit, shoe. what are your successes and failure?

Sarah (2):

so I can't, I was probably 14 maybe and, we were up at Edinburgh for the same tournament that you were talking about, but it moved to Edinburgh, the state, the PA cup, PA, whatever. and, this girl was doing exactly what she was told to do and she was really good at it, which was to piss me off. And she was just mine and she was going to pull my shirt and she was gonna jab me in the side and she was gonna do all that shit. And she was gonna do illegal shit. more so than that. and I fucking enough. I had had enough, and she tripped me. She did something. I got up and punched her. So I get a red card, like I know immediately, like I hit her and I look at the ref, I'm like, fuck. All right. So I could walk like I know what's happening. And I'm walking off the field and your dad is like shaking his head and I'm like, Oh, I am fucked. Like he is going to kill me. So I try, I avoid him the rest of the game. I just. nope. after the game, I'm walking up to him and I'm like getting ready for the tears. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. She was just making it so bad. And he said, if you're going to get kicked out of a game for punching someone, you better learn how to punch. Because that was embarrassing.

Chris:

what did you did this. I gave her a swat. Like this. Yeah.

Sarah (2):

Cause I had never punched anybody before. And I never practiced punching. I don't know how you, I see people punch and that seemed right, but no, it was like a cat swiping at her. That's what I did. So after that, daddy taught me how to punch. So that was the, that was the first fail. The second fail, I'm pretty sure we told this. It went along with when daddy, when mommy cut daddy's hair that first time and shaved him bald back here and it was the bad haircut and he had to drive the van for the ODP. Our first ODP trip to Eastern Pennsylvania. So he had to drive the van with the older girls in it. Like they volunteered to do that him and mommy. Can you imagine like those girls loved him and mommy? They thought they were fucking hysterical. So I'm in the big bus and there and they're driving this van with all these kids They don't know but anyway, I'm fairly certain back then you didn't need clearances or shit either

Chris:

You can

Sarah (2):

anyway so The first game. It's my first ODP game. For those of you who don't know, don't follow soccer. This is the state team. So this is the Pennsylvania West state team. It's my first game. I'm 13 years old playing defense Olympic development program, nervous as shit. And, I was on the B team. and I don't know, it might've been like the first 15 minutes of the game. I scored a goal. But it was for the other team.

Chris:

Congratulations. I

Sarah (2):

scored in my first State game, my first ODP game, I scored a goal for the other team. I couldn't even tell you how it happened. I just remember that it happened. And I remember looking at your dad and thinking, Oh, fuck. And he will tell you that I'm pretty sure that's what he did. Like he was like, oh, there's no C team. She's just gonna be out the door. She's out the door. This is what's going to happen. Oh man. it was good knowing all your girls. See you. Peace out. yeah, so it wasn't my finest moment and poor daddy thought for sure I was getting kicked off the team. The good news is I had great coaches and they laughed. And gave me a pat on the back and we're like, shit happens. What are you going to do about it? And this was when I was 13, so I was still into soccer and I was still working hard and trying to improve. So I, I actually came back from that and the rest of the time I played for ODP, I played on the A team. Bam.

Chris:

That's not my success.

Sarah (2):

B. A. Baracus. and here's my, this is my last. This is my favorite daddy soccer story.

Chris:

Okay.

Sarah (2):

Lay it on me. Slippery Rock. So this is my last away game at Slippery Rock. My last away game ever. And mommy and daddy traveled with us everywhere. It was, I forget the school, it was somewhere on Eastern Pennsylvania. and I scored a diving header, which again, for those of you that don't watch soccer is

Chris:

the only thing better is to score a goal off a bicycle kick. So Becca, and those of you who might not have grown up playing soccer, a bicycle kick is when you launch yourself in the air and kick it with your feet up over your head. Awesome. Yeah. Diving header also very impressive.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. So this was like always my goal. Like I was practicing diving headers in high school and I always, I just wanted to do it so bad. And, and yeah, so I did it and everybody fucking goes nuts. I'm going nuts. The first girl I get to after I score the goal, I fucking tackle her. First thing out of my mouth is I quit. I'm done. I'm done. She's what? I was like, that's all I want to do. Peace. Yep. See you guys. And I look up at your father and it's probably the only game in this time that I've ever played that nobody recorded. Of course, but I look up at your dad and it was the best daddy thing ever. Because he was just sitting there with his chest all puffed up, his arms all, and going with a big smile on his face. And I was like, yeah. Fuck yeah.

Chris:

Our dad has a belly, but he also has like this, he's like a big justice. So he has his arms on his chest and he's all puffed up, but his arms are resting on his

Sarah (2):

belly. But this is the It's adorable. Oh, I'm gonna cry. That's it. That's my girl. There she is. And then I broke their hearts and quit after that.

Chris:

Not literally, like not right after that.

Sarah (2):

no, I actually, I played the rest of the year. I did, went into the spring, like I did everything for the rest of the year. But I knew I was, but I told some people and that was pretty cool. my coach, she gave me one of these from the sidelines. Did a little bow down, which was pretty fucking cool. The other team was. Yeah. It was like, I was like a fucking celebrity afterwards. Yeah. It was fucking great. People are like, I hate your

Chris:

autograph. Where are you?

Sarah (2):

And I was like, yeah, I did it. that's it. That's it. I did everything I want to do. I played for Beatling, I played for the state, I Played for a college all of this shit. I started I did what I want to do now I scored a diving header. So but that was my dad. That was my proud daddy moment Those are our soccer moments. We have talked entirely too much about all of this shit.

Chris:

no, we're right on we're right on track We're right on track So

Sarah (2):

it's time to talk about, I do want to mention really quick, and if you guys don't like this, we can cut it out, but I do want to mention my increasing anxiety.

Chris:

Oh, yes, we should, it is time to talk about mental health and mental wellbeing stuff. So I would love to hear about your increasing anxiety.

Sarah (2):

Um, I think we try not to talk the politics and shit. but in re like any other election, any other president, I have, I voted for my guy, if my guy lost. or woman, this year. But I went with it. there's not much you can do, and honestly, not much is gonna change for me. So I don't really get that worked up about it, right? I can't seem to do that this time. I am having major anxiety about things that are going on. So in order to combat that I've been meditating twice a day.

Chris:

Is that, do you feel better once you meditate the twice a day? is it, do you feel like it's helping?

Sarah (2):

I do. I feel like it's helping and I like to do the, the meta, the, gratitude, the Yeah. I think that's what it is. The meta, meditation. So I just, I'm having some anxiety and I just wanted to express that and I feel like a lot of people are feeling the same and I feel like it is going to affect us a lot more quickly than,

Chris:

yeah,

Sarah (2):

than I thought it would. And in worse ways.

Chris:

I think that this. All falls in with the stuff that, that we're talking about, right? Like the fear of other people's opinions, the first rule of mastery, a lot of this book, Atomic Habits, like all of the things that we've been trying to do this year is all about letting go of the uncontrollable and focusing Shit you can't

Sarah (2):

control.

Chris:

On the things that you can control a lot of what Dan Harris talks about is the meditation and being more mindful and thoughtful in it. Being a part of that community doesn't make me any less aggressive in my job. It doesn't make me any, less ambitious. What it does is give me control over what I'm thinking about and what I'm doing, about what actions I'm taking. giving myself that pause and being like, yeah, that is something I don't have any control over. And being able to, like I have been saying, I've been saying all this week while I'm with my work peeps that my choice this year is choose violence. a lot of last year was about being curious and that felt good and that felt right. And we're going to talk a little bit about being curious this week in the mastery. But choosing violence for me, isn't punching you in the face cause you don't do what I want you to do. Choosing violence is being self aware enough to understand when it's appropriate for me to stay true to who I am in a way that gives me, not necessarily control over the things that I can't control, but gives me the ability to respond in a way that lets me grow. does that make sense? Like for me choosing violence is all about in the past times I would have been like, okay. this isn't bothering me. I'm going to pretend this isn't bothering me. and now Being able to be a little bit mindful about some things gives me a little bit of clarity on what's really important And when I have a differing opinion than somebody in the room, it isn't about imposing my will on them, but it is about being able to go. That is an interesting way to view that. Thank you for doing that. in that case, like my choosing violence is looking at ways that I can make a difference being supportive of my friends who need it, advocating for change where it has to happen. Being able to actually talk, say the words, I have a mental health podcast because it is important to me in ways that might be uncomfortable for you to hear.

Yeah.

Chris:

and that is where I found a lot of solace in some of the things and Not just politics, but a lot of the chaos in my life, Olivia going back to school, Olivia going through all the things that, that college kids go through, deciding a major. And as much as I know, she's a grownup and that's her life. It still does give a lot of uncertainty to me too. are you going to be home? Are you okay? What if you're not okay? what, the thing

Sarah (2):

you mentioned there that I find interesting, It's not just about politics and but it all has that same for me, most of it has that same anxiety inducing. And that's what I'm trying to, that's what I'm working on is being able to do my, this is. That's what I do. I do this and throw it away. I do this and throw it away. that's my thought. This is my thought and I'm throwing it away.

Chris:

Sarah is pulling the thoughts out of her face with her hands. That's what

Sarah (2):

I do.

Chris:

in case you guys are just listening and not watching. She's

Sarah (2):

pulling it out of her face

Chris:

and throwing it away.

Sarah (2):

I literally do that when I meditate. I go, Oh,

Chris:

Thank you. So it's off you go. so I think those are important things to remember. it's not just about politics. It's not just about, some propensity A few of us have to be more anxious than others. It's about understanding what's happening and reacting to it in a way that, that helps you be more you, than sinking into, stuff that you don't want to be. you could, in other ways, just Let the anxiety take over, right? You could just sink into that start like Cycling through some of the stuff that who was the first guy? Who's the first book? feedback loop from hell Mark Manson subtle art of not giving a fuck. Yeah, you could get into your feedback loop from hell. Oh, I shouldn't be anxious You're like, no, you're going to be anxious. It's how you control and deal with that. It's accepting the anxiety and being like, it's okay. I know how to deal with this anxiety. I know that it's all right. And being able to come on your podcast that you own, manage and run and be like, Hey guys, is it all right if I do this? is another way that, that we make all of this okay. Yeah. And that is one of the big things I took away from this week, even though it's only Wednesday. just spending three days around people who want to talk about mental health and want to talk about these things, but are still holding back because Oh, I don't know if we can. Yeah, we definitely can. We definitely can. And we'll make it funny and you'll love it. Yeah, so again, let me bring this back to me. Yeah.

Sarah (2):

no, it's good. it's a good lead in to what you're gonna lead us. It's a good lead in to what you're gonna lead us in today.

Chris:

Yep, exactly. I did part three, which is redefine. So in the, First rule of mastery we've been talking about it. The thing that holds you back is Being afraid of somebody else's opinion being able Being afraid of people not accepting you for who you are and then we got into part two which is more about acceptance of who you are and Bridget Jones and finally understanding that everybody loves Bridget just as she is And being able to take the stuff that's you and show it to other people. And once you can do that, your ability to do even more of what you were put here to do is you're able to do more of what you want to do without being afraid of what people are going to think without being worried that, Oh, I can't say that out loud. because somebody, we will think I'm an idiot. once you understand that, A, no one thinks about you that much at all anyway, and, No one thinks you're an idiot, and even if they do, they only think it for a second, and it is in the big grand scheme of things, it's so irrelevant compared to what you think you are, and if you can figure out who you are and you can learn to like who you are, then yeah. Everyone else can go suck a bag of dicks.

Sarah (2):

Oh, I love it. Yes. I love when we can integrate bag of dicks into an episode.

Chris:

these last three chapters are. It's all about redefining you and your view of yourself and how you can move from someone who's Oh, I don't like I can. And a very real example of this. I was talking to somebody that I really like and I really respect in our industry and I was apologizing for something and somebody across the bar, and they're like, stop apologizing because you are a great athlete. You are a great leader. You are all of these things make you important to the work that we do here and the work that you do on your podcast. So stop apologizing for your podcast. Stop apologizing for, Stop worrying so much. And for me, the epiphany of all this was, I'm not necessarily worried About not being good enough myself because I think I've worked hard and I've worked enough to know that I do I'm good at a lot of things I have a lot of gifts and I bring a lot to the table, not just to work, but to, to you, to Olivia, to David. 100%. I'm getting emotional about it.

Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. You're going to cry and it's not me. It's so weird. But it's so

Chris:

weird. it was the epiphany of I'm not apologizing and I'm not toning it back because I don't think I'm enough. I'm so worried that I'm going to hurt somebody else's feelings. a lot of my apology is I don't want to come off as a dick. Do you know what I mean?

Sarah (2):

100%.

Chris:

And that frankly doesn't make any sense because I'm not a

Sarah (2):

dick. It's dumb. And just because we're proud of something doesn't mean that we are, being boastful about it. yeah. Do you know what I mean? I get what you're saying. Cause I feel like that too. I feel if this is all I talk about there, people are going to not want to talk to me anymore. Cause this is all I talk about. And I talk about how awesome the podcast, Yeah, no, I 100 percent agree.

Chris:

And someone said, Oh, you were a fantastic athlete. And my initial reaction to that is, Oh no, I played division three. No, I wasn't a fantastic athlete. Like what the fuck?

Sarah (2):

Yeah. Cause it's what we've done our whole fucking lives. It's what we're, we've done without even knowing it. We have done, I hate to make it this I don't know, dramatic, but we've done so much damage to ourselves. We continue to do so much damage to ourselves and that's what we're talking about. We're trying to figure out and identify the damage that we've done. And if you don't mind, I'm going to tell a story real quick.

Chris:

yeah. Go ahead.

Sarah (2):

Go ahead. Michelle and I. So those of you who listen to Michelle Kapat's interview, she's a transformational coach and I actually have worked with her, over the past three months. And she has been coaching me. we finished up last week and we have, three month plan like this. The experience with her was life changing, absolutely life changing. And the epiphany happened last week. I'm going into some work stuff coming up soon that I'm taking a little bit of a risk and it's been in the back of my mind. We were talking about it and I was like, yeah, I just, I get excited about it. And then I think, they're not going to let me do this. They don't want, they're not gonna want to hear this. They don't want to do it. And all of a sudden I thought, wait a second, but what if they do, and this is the face I made and this. This smile goes all throughout the whole body because that's the excitement that I got. if they do, which I think they should, and I think they will really, if they do, how awesome will that be? Like what the kind of shit I'll be able to do is Amazing. And it's exactly what I want to do. So how incredible would that be? That, to me, was a huge, mind blown, instead of saying, they're not gonna like this, somebody won't like,

Chris:

fuck

Sarah (2):

yeah, they're gonna like it, because it's a good fucking idea.

Chris:

Sorry.

Sarah (2):

There I go, apologizing.

Chris:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna make fun of you for saying I'm sorry now, and you're gonna make fun of me for it, and we're gonna stop doing it. anyway, so laying in bed thinking, and this is what happens, right? Like I have these interactions and this is why I don't go into sales or any of these things. Cause I have these interactions with people and then I ruminate on them for hours. Which seems also counterproductive because I have other work to do. so laying in bed and I'm like, what, why would, yeah, what, just quit doing it. Just quit doing it. Go out tomorrow, at the same conference, talk to some people and maybe try not, try not apologizing when someone asks you how you're doing, say great and tell them what you're doing. If someone's interested in what you're doing outside of work, tell them about the podcast and tell them how awesome it is. Don't walk up to a group of people expecting them to not want to talk to you. it changed the entire course of this conference. And I had so much more fun, and I talked to people that I would never have talked to. I would've been like, oh, why would those, bald guys with tiny glasses want to talk to me?

Sarah (2):

tight, with their tight pants.

Chris:

I'm like, oh, you must be a CEO. I can almost see the outline of your tighty whities. Wow. That is a tailored jacket.

Sarah (2):

Wow. Does that button? I don't think that buttons, does it? Ooh,

Chris:

man, it has a button on it. How do you

Sarah (2):

think it has a button on it? I don't know.

Chris:

and I'm singing Jimmy Fallon, my tight pants on,

Sarah (2):

I forgot all about the tight pants. Oh, that's fantastic. Anyway,

Chris:

so it completely changed, my whole approach to it. And instead of doing the thing that I do, which is dreading, these things, I was excited. I'm not excited, still a pain in the ass and not exactly what I want to be doing during the day, but it changed the way that I would approach people and talk to people and it wasn't as awkward as it usually is. And I did a lot of good things this weekend. I'm really proud that I was able to pause, recognize that this is what's happening. it was really eye opening in a way I didn't expect for a dumb ass work conference.

Sarah (2):

And it's a whole different feeling. that's the other, I can't do this now. but that's the other thing. like when I first started working with Michelle or when you listen to Dan Harris, they talk about stepping back and taking that emotion and feeling it. And giving it a few seconds and think about where you feel it and how you feel it. And I, like at the beginning was like, this is ridiculous shit. It's stupid. This is stupid. And I, it's not all the time I'm able to do that, but I've been trying to do that and realizing like what certain feelings, what certain things, how they physically affect me. Like when I had the epiphany and I got the big smile and that big smile went that's.

Chris:

I love it.

Sarah (2):

that's something to think about to how these things physically, You have physical reactions to them as well. And sometimes the reaction is not good. It's not always, here's a smile. It's going to go through your body. Yay. Like more times than not, it's the, Oh, this is going to make my shoulders do that. And my heart do this. And I'm like, do this! So anyway, but it's taking stock of that and what you do with it.

Chris:

100%. Yeah. like talking about the failure of being able to play Sweeper. Like I haven't been able to say that before. And that's. Bizarre, right? who cares?

Sarah (2):

Yeah, I mean you, You could have told me that a long time ago. I would have made fun of you and we would have never talked about it again.

Chris:

Instead I just carried around inside for Yeah, 30 years. like the shame of just carrying around inside for 30 years. that's why you're not a good leader. You couldn't even do that.

Sarah (2):

Yeah, that's silly. You're silly.

Chris:

That is, and once you say it out loud, you're like, that sounds stupid.

Sarah (2):

But it's growth. that's what, it's wow, holy shit. I could have said that a long time, I wish I would have said that a long time ago. That's not it. And I think that kind of goes with what the last chapter is about. beautiful

segway.

Sarah (2):

I thought you were going to stop talking. I was like, Oh shit, am I taking it from here?

Chris:

No, I have to get back to my notes. Yeah. part three, the first chapter are talking about your closely held beliefs and this is a. This is a really hard one. this is one that you're going to work on forever. I feel like because when he said, when he first said, all right, in the exercises, sit down and write down your closely held beliefs. And I was like, I don't have any

Sarah (2):

talk about it. My reaction was exactly what I just described. My shoulders went up and I was like,

Chris:

what

Sarah (2):

closely held beliefs like.

Chris:

That, that I'm smarter than the person who sits next to me. That my closely held belief is that Fundamentally people need to be nice to each other. Like these are my closely held beliefs and they're goddamn right.

Sarah (2):

People who don't, people who don't eat peanut butter, people who don't like peanut butter are psychopaths. That's a closely held belief. these are

Chris:

closely held beliefs.

Sarah (2):

No, but I know exactly, cause that's exactly how, that's exactly what I thought. yeah, but I'm right.

Chris:

That's, and I think that's the hard part. I don't know if it's a closely held belief or a fact. Yeah. Like. people who don't use their turn signals to switch lanes on the highway should be taken out and summarily shopped. If you don't, if you don't zipper merge, you're fucking doing it wrong. Fact. These are not classical beliefs. I will

Sarah (2):

clarify that for you.

Chris:

But you get the idea. the hard one for me is that I feel like the way to carry a conversation on is to disagree with somebody. like someone will say something and I'm like, yeah, but how about if we think about it, like my tactic for speeding along the small talk is for somebody to say, Oh yeah, I think that it happened because of this or it happened this way. And I'm like, I can provide a counter argument to that, like right now, I don't realize how argumentative I am. Yeah. Quit nodding. Like you've known all along. Quit nodding. Like we've been having conversations for 40 years. And, yeah, that is, that is the. And instead of being like, Oh, I know a better story or I know a better way to do it. And a lot of that is ADHD related. Like I want you to understand that I'm listening to you. So I give you something back to let you know. And sometimes it's a contradictory statement and sometimes it's a better story. And I'm not trying to one up you. I'm just trying to let you know that I'm paying attention. Yes, and being able to take that and tweak it a little bit and either, ask a question instead of saying that you're wrong or guide a conversation along the lines of being curious instead of being right. Do you know what I mean? I was just gonna, yeah,

Sarah (2):

I was just gonna say the little, not trick, cause everybody does it, but just taking the time to sum up what they've just said to you instead of immediately telling them they're a fucking idiot. Oh my god. Or maybe repeat what they've said and just say, that's interesting. So just to give yourself a minute and you don't always have to respond like you don't always have to engage either.

Chris:

Yeah. I think that chapter 11 was the hardest chapter because it's about understanding. It's about understanding who you are. And yeah. I think we have gone over the, this fact, 800 million different ways from today to Sunday that knowing who you are is the hard part.

Yeah.

Chris:

knowing that I like to wear eyeliner and that's fine is the hard part.

Yeah.

Chris:

being able to, to recognize that and being able to recognize other people who are different than me and accept them as they are is. The hard part, right? and that's the most basic, simple example that I can pull out from the, past couple of weeks is that it's okay for me to want to look pretty. That's not a character flaw. That's me. and it's okay for me to want to talk about my podcast and it's okay for me to be, for me to use humor in my professional space.

Sarah (2):

Absolutely. 100%.

Chris:

as long as I am doing it in a way that encourages conversation and I'm not simply just making fun of everybody in the room, which is a thing that you can fall into when you're being funny. It happens. Yeah. I'm not judging. I'm just saying that, yeah, sometimes I'm like, oh my God, tight pants. What's up?

Sarah (2):

Yeah. Like I can see your butthole. Oh yeah. Shout out to Ed Faircloth for his nickname being Jigs at one point. Sorry. I forgot to mention that.

Chris:

Cover your butthole, Ed.

Sarah (2):

Okay. Yep. Watch your butthole.

Chris:

Okay. So in chapter 11 is about curiosity, right? So be curious. And be able to, approach a conversation with some curiosity. And, again, it's really hard to do that because I don't know if this is a closely held belief or a fact. I don't know that all that well. And this is the thing that I think we just need to keep working on. what are my closely held beliefs? What are my values? Do you remember how

Sarah (2):

It's hard.

Chris:

Do you remember how we struggled with it when we were reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck? Yeah. I'm going to go back and read it I have no idea what my values are. I

Sarah (2):

don't know what the fuck he's talking about. This guy. Yeah, I need to read it again.

Chris:

Anyway, so chapter 11 is all about that. Cause again, redefining your closely held beliefs and looking at them in a way that lets you be more open to, to changing and more open to, You know what that says about you and learning and growing right because the big thing that we limit when we give in to FOPO is our ability to learn and change and grow. And if you are holding so tightly onto that belief that you can't. That you can't open up and understand what's really happening, then you really are limiting what you're able to do. So that was chapter 11. I really enjoyed it. Didn't like it as much as chapter 12, which was something that I thought was a lot easier. So chapter 12 is Look Who's Talking. And it is about understanding whose opinion matters. The fear of other people's opinion is a thing that we have to overcome, but we also have to understand when that survival mechanism is important and good, whose opinions matter about what's important and what's fundamental to you. And the trick, to this one is back to my girl Brene Brown and talking about the man in the arena. And I think if we go back to like episode four or five, I was real keen on the man in the arena. Teddy Roosevelt gave this speech about, about people, people dissing on other people. Dissing, I think is what the kids say.

Sarah (2):

Dissing. In 1982.

Chris:

And Teddy Roosevelt was like, Teddy Roosevelt was like, Hey, unless you're in here fighting, unless you're a part of what I'm doing, and unless you understand what I'm about and what I'm going through and how much effort I'm putting into doing this thing, then, fuck off. essentially he's like, everyone will tell you what you're doing is this, and everyone will give you an opinion and everyone will judge and say that you're doing it wrong or you're not doing it the way that they would do it. And when it comes down to it, those people don't matter. Michael Gervais suggest that you have a circle and the people who are in that are the people who are in the fight with you. So when I'm worried about Oh, I don't know if I'm going to share my sensitive nature of my podcast because it's really important and personal to me. I shouldn't really care about what, the head of data management at Pfizer thinks about it. Who I should care about is what Sarah thinks about it. And what Anita thinks about it and what Olivia thinks about it. Because those are the people who are in here fighting with me. Those are the people who, A, understand what my fight is about. They are the people that understand what's important. And they're the people that understand who I am, probably better than I understand who I am myself. And outside of that circle is just noise. Like outside that circle are opportunities for learning because there are people that are different from me, but outside of that circle is not someone who's going to steer the course of my life.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. the action at the end of this one was to create your round table, define those people who are in that circle and it shouldn't be a big list. Like it should, these should be, this should be a very small list. Like I have a ton of friends, but there's not a, there's, yeah, it's. Yeah, it's small

Chris:

and it's funny How the longer we do this the more we the more throwbacks that were that we're gonna have I know we did it We did an episode where we talked about how many friends you have versus how many friends I have. Yeah, and It's nice that these are opportunities to socialize and these are opportunities to chat and to learn again, because these people are outside your sort of roundtable, but I think when it comes down to it, we have very similar sizes of roundtables. Yeah, for sure. we have very similar, these are people that matter. We have very

Sarah (2):

similar people at the table.

Chris:

Yeah. Yeah. And we've spent most of our

Sarah (2):

lives together. So I feel like that's

Chris:

a good 30 years at this point

Sarah (2):

anyway,

Chris:

anyway. So I think that is really what chapter 12 was about to me. It's about the man in the arena and being able to be really vulnerable in front of those people and being able to show them who you really are and using those people to help you understand what your values are. What your closely held beliefs are, and then being able to help you evaluate them and trusting their opinions about what you're doing. and I think one of the, one of the best stories that, that Michael Gervais shares in the whole book, other than, the postman doesn't deliver on Sunday, is the one about their professional football player, where he's like, some coaches matter and some coaches didn't. I knew who I was and I knew what my mission was. And I knew that I needed to be doing X, Y, and Z. I forget.

Sarah (2):

I had it written down to read about him. Nate,

Chris:

Nate, I don't have my glass on. Yeah. Yeah. That guy. yeah. I thought that was really powerful because these are people who, whose opinions can destroy you where fear of. Other people's opinions could really hurt. And it's the same thing as you're going through your career. There are people whose opinions about you are going to matter very much. And then there are other people's opinions who are, all right, thanks. I'll take your advice. glad that you were available to give me your advice. I'm not going to listen to it because you don't understand what I'm fighting and what I'm doing.

Sarah (2):

Yeah. And that's what he said. He put that screen up and. to decide what was gonna come through that screen and things that he let through that screen were the things that he could learn from and Again, it's so simple that it's fucking hard

Chris:

I'm like, oh I can learn from that. no that person said something just to be mean to you That person, for whatever reason, whatever they're going on, whatever arena they're in, is hard for them and they are going to try to hurt you in order to make themselves feel better. And that doesn't have to get through your screen. You just have to recognize that you are in control of your screen. Yep. And that's hard too. I wish it was a literal screen where I could be like, Oh, good, that one didn't matter. Like your metaphor is very nice and I wish it was real, not a metaphor. So if someone could put up a screen for me and let me know the ones that I can really learn from. I can see me now. Or the ones where I'm just letting someone hurt my feelings.

Sarah (2):

Because I like the actions, like the taking the thought and throwing it out. So I can see me now being like. Like a John Cena. Is it gonna get through the screen? Am I gonna let it through the screen?

Chris:

So that was chapter 12. Awesome chapter. I loved it probably more than any other chapter in the book. I found it probably the most helpful in being able to help me prevent, FOPO, mostly because I just love that main in the arena quote. And the last chapter, just like a lot of our books, seems to end up on death. Yeah.

Sarah (2):

Because it's something we really should be aware of. Like we avoid it. We avoid it. We ignore it. we act as though it's not going to happen and doing that is not going to fucking help.

Chris:

it is so paradoxical to me that. Thinking about how short life is makes you appreciate things that are happening right now. And, regardless of religion, regardless of, how you feel about what happens after you die. Your life here is confined to your life here and not being able to understand that and not being able to appreciate that is Probably one of the things that we can let go of easier than really anything else and I Highlighted one thing in here. Man, I

Sarah (2):

highlighted so much shit.

Chris:

Yeah, I had I was on my phone I highlighted one thing that I thought was him and now yeah, you did It's not a highlight if you highlight the whole book.

Sarah (2):

yeah, that's what I did. But this one I gave a star and put a paperclip on because this is the one I really wanted to talk about.

Chris:

I wonder if the same one I highlighted, do you want to know what you'll regret at the end of your life? Simply ask yourself what you regret right now. that's not what I highlighted, but yeah, I can't imagine I've, mine are always just so I'm like this is, this sums up the entire chapter and I think that's the important thing to think of when you think about these guys highlighting death. It's not a preoccupation with death. It's not a preoccupation with how we're going to die. It's not a preoccupation with how short life is. It's about taking the end and bringing it closer and thinking about what you would do. what would you do if today was the last day you were going to spend on Earth? I would learn as much as I could, I would talk to, I would talk to as many people as I could, instead of being all shelled up, I would do so many things to really expand on knowledge that it wouldn't be, I wouldn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about what other people were thinking about me. And I think that I wouldn't spend a whole lot of time worrying about, things that weren't important to me. And again, it gets back to, it gets back to what are your values? What's important to you? Is it important to you to do well at work? Then knuckle down and spend some time doing that. Is it important to you to have the, have pretty hair? Then make sure you're taking care of it. Make sure you're setting time down at the end of the day. do you regret not, not using, really quality skin care products at an earlier age? Say, yes, I do. So now I'm going to use really quality skincare products. these are silly examples, exactly, exactly what I mean, like 100 percent what's important to me tonight is going out, eating a nice light dinner, checking out some things at Disney Springs. And then coming back here and, finishing or start reading like the next book we're going to read. maybe I lied. Maybe I'm gonna have an old fashioned with bacon in it again, just to see if it turns my face as red as it did on Sunday.

Sarah (2):

Yes,

Chris:

I think you should do it. So I think this whole book is really so closely tied with Dan Harris that I'm almost forgetting that they're two separate books.

Yeah. Like

Chris:

the. The ability to control FOPO and the ability to understand how damaging and how hard it is to recognize that FOPO is even a thing, is so closely tied to being able to be mindful about how you react to it. especially with my spicy little brain, like just running around from topic to topic to topic, being able to have that heartbeat where I'm like, stop apologizing for being good at things. Stop apologizing for the, for. while you are, you're lucky in, in a couple of ways and you worked really hard in a couple of other ways and that's it. This isn't life changing. There's no need to apologize. you're not Elon Musk. You're not mother Teresa. you're just you, quit apologizing for it. No one's going to feel bad. put your ego aside, which is a funny thing, a funny, and that's the other thing that, that, that kind of came to me in the shower.

Sarah (2):

I love that you threw that in the shower. Okay.

Chris:

That's where all the good ideas come. yeah,

Sarah (2):

that's where I have the best conversations really.

Chris:

This is where I replay every fight I've ever had with anybody and I win every fucking

Sarah (2):

time.

Chris:

Oh my god, you have no idea how badly I've destroyed you in an argument in my shower. Yep. No idea. Yep. but I was thinking like, I'm like, oh, I don't want to be egotistical. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm like, who the fuck do you think you are?

Sarah (2):

Yeah, exactly. And that's like Dan Harris talked about that a lot. He talked about the ego quite a bit.

Chris:

Like you're, just do you. that's really it. Yeah, these are things that I'm good at. Here I am. I'm not changing the world. I was good at soccer in college. I was a really good mom. these are things that are not You are a really good mom. And someone said that. I bet you're a really good mom. And I'm like, no, I'm fine. I'm Heck yeah, I was a really good mom. Look at my kid. Do you a picture of him?

Sarah (2):

It's the one thing that I'll say I do well. I'm a fucking good mom. I've seen the bad ones,

Chris:

right? I have a, I have an amazing she shed. Why am I apologizing for my she shed? Yeah,

Sarah (2):

no, like

Chris:

it's ridiculous. But I think over, over the whole course of this book, the tie into meditation and the tie into mindfulness, I think is it can't be under understated. And meditation for me these days is like 30 seconds before I walk out the door. Like it is breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. It seems like that's enough for right now. Yeah. there's no need for you to get all hung up on it. breathe in, breathe out. Think about who you are during the day. that's it. Yeah. don't get so caught up in this crisis or this crisis. Think about who you are and what's important and then make sure that those things are taken care of. all in all, this was a really great book. I don't know if it was your choice or my choice, but It was mine. It was

Sarah (2):

mine. It was mine.

Chris:

Obviously. And I feel like it was mine, but I'm just going to let you have it. No. It was definitely mine.

Sarah (2):

Definitely. Definitely mine.

Chris:

but I really, I really like that, that this has given me, Mastery, right? Like these are the keys to being successful. And there's no age limit on that. There's no bad time to start thinking about these things. And, I know that primarily, I think of myself as like towards the tail end of my career at this point, but there's no reason that I can't continue to do really good things in a lot of areas. and I think that was the other thing that I got out of this, just because I've been so blind and so self deprecating and hiding behind humor a little bit, there's no need that I need, there's no reason I need to continue doing that, even from Sunday night, Monday night, to Tuesday night, there's no reason I need to keep doing it. All right, that's what I got. That kind of ties up the book. Did you like it? What did you think?

Sarah (2):

I loved it. I loved it. I thought it was a great book. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to stop here. Poor Becca, like just walked in from class, hasn't eaten properly. She's I'm so tired. I'm starving. Which she was doing earlier when she was, you thought she was looking out the window. She was trying to get out of the window to get away from us. Yeah. jump out of the whole place. Get the, give me the fuck out of here. So we're going to wrap it up. love you guys. Bye.

Chris:

Love you sis. Bye. Bye Becca. Love you too.

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Christine Kanalis

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Sarah Leibhart

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