The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 22: Going Through It? Keep on Going.

• Gaster Girls • Season 2 • Episode 9

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In this episode of the 'Mental Funnybone Becoming the Gaster Girls,' Sarah and Christine provide an entertaining mix of personal stories and mental health insights. They clarify that they are not licensed professionals and encourage seeking professional help when necessary. The episode features their humorous encounters with poorly written emails, candid discussions about challenging weeks, and delightful interactions with fans. They touch on the joys and struggles of motherhood, advocating for their children, and the dynamics of leaving for college. Sarah shares her initial therapy experience, and Christine speaks about atomic habits and upcoming reads. Listeners are in for a fun ride with stories about Bruce Springsteen concerts, speakeasy adventures, and the quirky intricacies of home life.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

Sarah:

Hello and welcome to the Mental Funnybone Becoming the Gaster Girls. I'm Sarah.

Chris:

And I'm Christine. A big part of this podcast is discussing mental health, but please know that we are by no means licensed mental health professionals. We will be simply offering our perspectives based on personal experiences and encourage listeners to seek professional help when needed. Various mental health resources are listed in our show notes.

Sarah:

We will be simply. I feel like that's

Chris:

That's it. That's

Sarah:

up. that needs to be fixed. I don't know who wrote this.

Chris:

right, We'll get it. We'll get it. I believe you wrote it. I'm not blaming you.

Sarah:

percent I definitely wrote it. I definitely wrote it and I did not have chat GPT do it. Somebody at work sent an email that was obviously written by Chad. And I was like, come on, dude, you at least have to update some shit because I know that's not how you talk. Damn, and I'm gonna text you right now. I'm gonna text you the trainer's notes from Owen's reassessment yesterday. and obviously whatever program they use, they do not have autocorrect. And,

Chris:

I'm so excited

Sarah:

might have a concussion, not Owen. legit, the one line says,

Chris:

There it is.

Sarah:

Al athlete to have a flow up sway teat coat.

Chris:

What? Quas? Hi.

Sarah:

just try to read that out loud. A teat re evaluation was insignificant at neat. Denied jabbing any concussion symptoma throughout the day after being hit in the face, kith,

Chris:

Are her fingers

Sarah:

a soft curve ball.

Chris:

Her fingers are on the wrong keys! Her fingers

Sarah:

But dude, you like, that goes out to a shit ton of people at, in the school. Okay. Not a shit ton, but a handful of people are reading that, including the student's mother, the student's coach, the athletic director ever like. you didn't even look up because you had no fucking clue, like crying. I was crying as I'm reading it. I was like, what? I, lady, you need to go into concussion protocol. Holy fuck. Sorry. Off subject.

Chris:

I'm gonna put, I'm gonna put a copy of that someplace where people can see it because it's so funny.

Sarah:

It's really unbelievable. Completely unbelievable. So apparently, like she should have used chat GPT, right?

Chris:

while she was doing that? Can someone check on

Sarah:

I hope she's okay. Okay. Okay.

Chris:

you? Oh my god. That is freaking crazy.

Sarah:

Fuck. Anyway,

Chris:

All right, shall we get into the episode? I would like us to be as succinct as possible today, I am going through it today. And yeah,

Sarah:

a rough week. It's a rough day. I feel like this has just been like our MO for the past few weeks. but we're getting through it and I feel like these are fun episodes because we're just letting it go. And,

Chris:

we'll see what, we'll see what we get.

Sarah:

hopefully you guys like it. So we do have some notes, so that's cool. So why don't you get started with those.

Chris:

All right. So we got some fan mail and, the fan mail was from, Elaine C who worked with me at a tiny little company called Decibel last year. and I was legitimately afraid of her. when I

Sarah:

You're legitimately afraid of a lot of people, I feel

Chris:

it comes up a lot. it's people that I liked and respected. Also, me liking you and respecting you makes me terrified of you at the same time, so

Sarah:

yeah, I

Chris:

that's really code for that.

Sarah:

I would like to interrupt real quick to let our listeners know that neither of us have headphones on because today sucks. so hopefully the sound quality isn't too bad, but we're doing it anyway. Continue, Christine.

Chris:

Sorry. At least one of us doesn't sound good and one of us sounds bad because that's hard to listen to. I feel like we're both the equivalent of each other there. so Elaine likes the podcast. she actually sent me, some text messages and she and I are going to meet up next time I'm in Boston. So pretty excited to, to see her and talk about the podcast and what she likes about it. And in a way it's like talking about me, so I'm cool with it. Super exciting. She also, sent us a note about her grandma and, how our grandma giving us baths in draft laundry detergent struck a nerve. because Elaine's grandmother was also of that generation where.

Sarah:

Love it.

Chris:

they just did wacky shit. I ended up talking to another ex colleague from Decibel and Andrea S., and she also loves us. She's also sad because she's caught up right now. hey guys, big shout out to you. Let's go Decibel. Let's make those babies hear.

Sarah:

Yay.

Chris:

Rudy also sent us a note with a suggestion to professional eyes professionalize, clean up.

Sarah:

Increase the professionalism of the YouTube

Chris:

So we'll give that a, we'll give that a try.

Sarah:

a few months.

Chris:

and I think just looking at some of the fan mail and some of the feedback, like we did get a ton of, a ton of thoughts on our bare bones banter with Jackie and Ed, and thank you guys for reaching out. Thank you to everybody who. signed up to listen to us based on your interactions with Jackie and Ed. That's nice. every time I think that it's just you and I entertaining each other, somebody, somebody either pops up in the inbox or somebody I talk to that I don't talk to frequently has nice things to say. So it's not just us. We're 35 people every week.

Sarah:

Perfect.

Chris:

Which is 35 more than we had in April.

Sarah:

35 more than I expected. So winning.

Chris:

Writing. also, Elaine C. pointed out that maybe the reason we have to beg people to send us emails and the reason we don't get any, is because people don't know how to spell Gaster.

Sarah:

Ding, ding.

Chris:

for you guys, it is. G A S T E R, not T O R, that's G A S T E R, and girls is just, girls, at gmail. com. So if you've been trying to send us a message to some other spelling of Gaster or girls, it's not with a Z, it's with an S, if you've been trying to send us, email someplace else, send it to the right place. We'd love to read it.

Sarah:

I'm sure we're going to get an influx of emails. Now. I know that is the only reason people are not sending us emails because they were spelling Gaster, Gastor.

Chris:

that is it. That is it. all So weekly catch up corner. I did mention that we had some interviews coming up for bare bones banter last week. so

Sarah:

going on. Lots of fun stuff.

Chris:

super excited about that. Here's what I've been doing this week. So Olivia dropped her off at school, was very sad to leave her. turns out she has fleas in her dorm room. So I have been pretty preoccupied with trying to get rid of the fleas in the dorm room. Fairly unpleasant for everybody. and you might be able to tell I'm not in my normal place because I'm back in North Carolina to discuss the fleas. With the school administration. So that's been keeping me pretty busy. and the good thing is that I get to go through saying goodbye to her twice. So that, that'll be amazing. Like I've already hugged her like 86 times and now I get to do it all again and she gets to do it all again. So

Sarah:

Yeah,

Chris:

once wasn't enough for us. So we're just going to do it twice.

Sarah:

Did you get to see a game? Have they played a game yet?

Chris:

They had one scrimmage and, eleven of them got hurt. So they've been trying to take it easy.

Sarah:

in my mind, I just seen them all running around and just running into each other

Chris:

I would imagine that was what it was. they just all, they all went

Sarah:

and they all fall down at the same time.

Chris:

Like it, like a wave just knocked them on the, knock them all over at one

Sarah:

Oh dear.

Chris:

All right. but I did want to, I did want to get this one on the record. You and Aaron Oh, took our dad to the Bruce Springsteen concert. can you give us, can you give us a report while I look at this email really quick?

Sarah:

We did. We did. It was so much fun. Pappy was in his glory. He cried like the whole time. In a great way. Like it wasn't like overly, dramatic, like I would do. but, what was the most fun is the fact that we sat all the way at the top, anybody who knows PPG paints arena, In Pittsburgh knows that the top level is super steep. First of all, I stand at the top of it and I throw up a little bit every time. And as I walk, like my hands are sweating now, just thinking about it. as I walk down those steps, I hold on to the middle railing. Like my life depends on it. So of course we get to the seats and we see that this is where we're sitting and immediately I'm like, Oh fuck no. No, then we've come to realize that our seats are in the second row. So we have to climb down all of the steps.

Chris:

But they were good, but they

Sarah:

They were great seats. They were great seats. They were amazing seats. If you ever have the chance, get the seats behind the stage because I imagine they're the cheapest, best seats you could get because they interacted with all of us behind. So it was perfect. It was amazing. They were fan freaking tastic seats. but there was drinking of beer and small bladders and 78 year old men. Man.

Chris:

Man.

Sarah:

Pap, and then Papi forgot his phone. I don't know if I told you this. He forgot his phone at home. So I was afraid we were gonna lose him somewhere, so I had to give him my phone so me and Aaron could track him if we had to.

Chris:

You, oh God, you should have given it like, you need, we need an air tag for him every time we

Sarah:

He was like, this is ridiculous. I was like, dad, it has not, this is, If it was sissy and she forgot her phone, we would be giving her one of the devices. Like we should have partners and devices at all times. but the going up and down the steps with daddy, and then he was like pissed off that we would go, or I would go up to the bathroom with him, but I didn't get no, you're not going, you're not climbing up these steps yourself and climbing back down them. So every time we went up the steps, he just waved to everybody. Like they were cheering for him.

Chris:

He loves that gag.

Sarah:

Yeah, and everybody loved him. He was getting high fives every time he went up to go to the bathroom. And then on the way down, the railing in the middle has like little breaks in it. So every time we'd get to a break, I would turn around to grab his hand. And he would swat it,

Chris:

Fine. I'm fine.

Sarah:

but it was, Bruce Springsteen, holy shit.

Chris:

Was it

Sarah:

This man is 74. I think he's going to be 75 in September. And he did not stop for over three hours. Like my posted on Facebook, I could barely stand through one song and he did a million of them. I was. Like flabbergasted just by this fact alone. I couldn't believe it. And every song was better than the next. my only complaint is, do you hear the dog in the background?

Chris:

I don't hear the

Sarah:

Who's attacking Owen? anyway, which means that Owen deserves it. but anyway, what was I saying? Bruce Springsteen.

Chris:

than the last. Your only complaint.

Sarah:

yes. I knew like two songs,

Chris:

Ah, yes.

Sarah:

really disappointing, which means he did not play born in the USA.

Chris:

about my home? Did you play

Sarah:

in my hometown.

Chris:

Yeah, that sounds right.

Sarah:

He didn't play. What was the other one? Is it born to run?

Chris:

Thunder Road. Did you play Thunder Road?

Sarah:

I don't know. I don't know. But what was great is we had a list of things at the end of it. We were like, these are things that, that say you're old. first of all, as we were sitting down, I was like, God, I hope the people around us don't want to stand the whole time. Then as the music gets started, I was like, wow, it's pretty good. Pretty fucking loud. And daddy leaned over and was like, I wish they'd turn it down just a bit so I can understand what they're saying. And every song that started, I would lean over and say, do you know this one to daddy? And he would go, no, but I love it. So he actually didn't know a lot either, like a lot of the songs. He knew several of them more than I did. Cause he's like a big Bruce fan. but yeah, I guess he played newer stuff, but it was a wonderful experience. it was a jumbo bucket list. I'm not sure he really has a bucket list, but we've decided that he does. And we've thrown this right at the top.

Chris:

do things we want. You'll do things we want you to do. That's your bucket list.

Sarah:

so yeah, it was a great, it was perfect. You missed out on a good time. thanks to Erin for joining us and being the third Gaster girl.

Chris:

Love, Erin. She's the best. Thanks for taking my place. Glad that ticket didn't go to waste. Glad you guys still got to go. Even though I was down here dropping Olivia off for round one. Round one of drop off at school. While I was here, I did get the opportunity to go to a Raleigh speakeasy and it was flat out the coolest thing that I have ever experienced. Like opening up the, you walk into this restaurant, it's a fully functional restaurant. There's like shit happening all over the place. And, and then you look at like the guy who's there to greet people who are there to eat dinner and you're like, what's up? And then you walk around him and you open up a bookshelf. You open the bookshelf and walk

Sarah:

a password?

Chris:

There's no password, but there is a dude right when you get in there and asks, do you have a reservation? And I said, yes, I do. And then you sit there and you drink, trendy hipster cocktails. For, for however long you want to do that until you go to dinner at. another hipster trendy place and it reminded me how much I like to do that kind of thing like

Sarah:

It's so much fun to do new stuff like that. Gin.

Chris:

be old but I am not too old to sit in the speakeasy and have a gin based cocktail named after porn stars I think. Tastes like pine needles. I was like, wow, this is very, it's very like lavender heavy. every drink I had was very, some sort of spice heavy.

Sarah:

Yeah. This is why I drink Miller Lite. Tastes like Miller Lite.

Chris:

I was like, wow, that is really a rosemary forward cocktail. That.

Sarah:

that's really awesome. I love, Oh yeah. That one just tastes like a Christmas tree. And that one, Oh, that also tastes like a Christmas tree. Yep. those smelly things you hang on the fake Christmas tree to make it smell like the Christmas tree. I imagine that's what they taste like.

Chris:

And then I had one that was a. That. It was milk fat derived or something, some such BS. And I was like, wait, you're going to mix the tequila with milk. He's Oh no. We take the milk fat and we rendered something like there was a compression process. I was like, yeah, I will have your milk based tequila drink. Bring it on.

Sarah:

the love, pop a top and hand it to me. Holy shit balls.

Chris:

Like end of the night, I Salisbury steaks. Cause I know I don't like whiskey. Like I know for sure. I don't like the smell of it.

Sarah:

yeah.

Chris:

Don't like, and there was a whiskey based cocktail that had a lot of flowers associated with it and some pineapple juice. And I was like, yeah, I'll try that. And then I, they brought it to me and I was like, yeah,

Sarah:

turns out whiskey flower is just as bad or flower whiskey is just as bad as regular whiskey.

Chris:

no, that's that one. That one sucked.

Sarah:

Smoked whiskey is also bad.

Chris:

enjoy that. No, because it's not a ham.

Sarah:

Yeah,

Chris:

It's not a ham. You're not hamming it up. Ugh.

Sarah:

right, It's bad. I, when I have to do a fancy drink, or when I'm not filling the beer, I go with a dirty martini.

Chris:

I do like a martini. It is just like pure alcohol.

Sarah:

I don't drink any slower than I do a beer, so it typically ends really bad.

Chris:

End of the night. I was definitely happy that I was in an uber and not driving a vehicle like and I paced myself, right? Because that I'm 51. So I got to pace myself these days. So I had two drinks at the speakeasy, one drink with dinner and I'm like, timed it out. I'm like, I'll just have a water until 8 15 and then I can have another drink so that I'm not, so I'm not sloppy and stupid. So that was like the best part of dropping Olivia off was that, yeah, I got to hang out at a speakeasy and it was fun.

Sarah:

Yay, I love a good speakeasy

Chris:

I don't know why I don't do it more often. Probably because I'm tired.

Sarah:

and I don't know where the fuck to find one.

Chris:

I think that's like the whole point of a speakeasy is you gotta go behind the bookshelf and who would know this?

Sarah:

Yeah, I'm gonna need someone to introduce me to places like that.

Chris:

Alright. so the last thing I have on the weekly catch up corner is like, is advocating for our children and how that doesn't make them soft or weak. So as we have progressed through this week and last week, Where Olivia is trying to straighten out her rooming situation and trying to figure out how to get the bugs out of her room. she's been working with people at the school and advocating for herself. and then I've not liked some of the results that have happened. So then I've made some phone calls to the school and decided that advocating for, my child alongside of her to model the behavior, So she can watch and learn how to do this effectively because I feel like she's 18, 19 and she just turned 19. So she is a very young, fresh 19. And yeah, she can put in a maintenance request for a light bulb this out and I'm not gonna help her with that. figure it out. She's going to have some conflicts with her roommates and I'm not going to call anybody and be like, knock it off. figure that out. But when there are obstacles that I feel like people are putting up in, in her way, then I think it's time to get involved and be like, I see what's happening in some of these situations. And. I feel like when our children are being taken advantage of that we can coach them through how to deal with that because it's not a straightforward, just go over and ask them. It's not a straightforward, just stick up for yourself. It's a, here's how you have these interactions with people who are trying to move you in a direction you don't want to go. and those are sometimes challenging. And I think it is okay for us to be like jumping in those cases where a lot of people at institutions of higher learning are, we really need to talk to the kid, we really need to talk to the kid, I'm like, you've already done that and I don't like how you did it, so I will show her how to come back to some of the things that you've said and show her how to advocate. for herself, better in a different sort of way. So that's what I have for advocating for our kids, and that doesn't make them soft. That doesn't make them weak. That doesn't make them entitled. there are important things that they have to learn how to do, and sometimes the only way you're going to learn that is to watch somebody else do it first.

Sarah:

and that's the thing like we hear a lot of talk like they have to learn how to stick up for themselves They have to learn how to advocate for themselves. They need to do these things They're you know, Owen and I've been hearing it since last year and he's just in high school they're in high school now. So They should be able to take care of it themselves. and I understand that we want to raise independent kids, but I think that sometimes we forget we need to show them what to do in order to do it. Like we just say, they have to do it themselves. And nobody shows them, nobody helps them. And I think that's the step that we're forgetting. And we're also forgetting there's still fucking kids.

Chris:

they're children. they're new at it. yeah, I agree. part of raising somebody is being able to let them loose in the world. part of raising somebody who's gonna be successful in the world is making sure that they know how to do all of that. And, like I said, sometimes the best way is to watch me lose my shit on somebody.

Sarah:

like I'm about to lose my shit on this goddamn dog.

Chris:

Don't do that. Don't do that. It's not his fault. He's just little.

Sarah:

I am gonna open the door and let him in here though. Hopefully that doesn't fuck up the shit even more.

Chris:

just cut this part out.

Sarah:

everything else is quiet in the house. Owen's in the shitter. Here he comes.

Chris:

him. I hear him.

Sarah:

tee.

Chris:

Hi, Macho. Hi, Macho.

Sarah:

He's very excited to be featured on the podcast.

Chris:

I asked Olivia if she wanted to join us today and she's like, no.

Sarah:

Nah. Cringe.

Chris:

she said, I'm quite busy.

Sarah:

Quite busy, yeah.

Chris:

All right. So that is my story of advocating, for our children. And, um. I think some of it is hard to navigate and understand, right? you don't want to, you don't want to be following them around their whole lives being like, be meaner, be better. you can't do that. But when you have the opportunity, it's maybe a good learning exercise for everybody. And as I'm you go.

Sarah:

it's just everything else in parenting. hard. And we don't, we're talking about it, but we're not professionals and we don't know. we're just telling you what we're doing with our kids.

Chris:

Great.

Sarah:

guess hopefully we'll be podcasting several years down the line and we'll be able to report that it went okay.

Chris:

This one's in prison. So maybe go back to that episode and don't take my advice.

Sarah:

Yeah. we can assess then, but for now, this is what we're doing and, we think it's good.

Chris:

Great. So

Sarah:

Oh, and you think it's boring.

Chris:

tired, so tired. yeah, parent your way, do the best you can. I also listened to her horrific, podcast about parenting styles and parenting influencers. And. How the one lady just went absolutely crazy and ended up like duct taping her children in a closet because she was about consequences and tough love and natural consequences of actions and all of that and I was like, I think Maybe sometimes we can just take things to an extreme

Sarah:

what is natural consequence about duct tape? did they run into the duct tape by accident and roll around in it?

Chris:

I don't know. It's pretty it was pretty screwed up and I can't remember it like it was a mormon. It was a mormon lady and she was a mom, fluencer, and they would do stuff like the kid wasn't allowed to sleep in his bed for six months because he pulled a prank on his brother.

Sarah:

is this the one that's been on the TV that's in trouble?

Chris:

it might,

Sarah:

lady.

Chris:

I don't know if it's a Tik Tok lady, this lady was a YouTuber and then she just went off the freaking rails, like she was pretty bad as a YouTuber. and then she met up with this also psychotherapist. Which is what

Sarah:

the same person.

Chris:

piqued my interest. And then they both just went absolutely batshit.

Sarah:

Yeah, I think the one of the kids like escaped and that's, and the neighbor called the police like this kid is malnourished

Chris:

He's got blood all over him.

Sarah:

he had to be punished and punishing means you don't eat for six months.

Chris:

I guess the neighbor thought that he had blood all over him, but really what it was is they had tied his arms up, and he had gotten sores on his arms, and then they had put honey and cayenne pepper on his boo boos.

Sarah:

So I'll go back to stating that, I don't know how to be a perfect parent, but don't fucking do that.

Chris:

Great. I'm not that great. Like I, I know that I have, I've been saving money for Olivia to have therapy since I started parenting. Like I know what's going to happen, but yeah, don't, don't do that.

Sarah:

Yeah, there's some shit you just don't do. It's just that simple and that, these people, I would like to, I would like to starve her. I would like to wrap her up in something that is going to brush burn her all over and then pour, I don't know, rubbing alcohol all over her open wounds.

Chris:

A, hipster, drink

Sarah:

Yeah, here's some gin. Here's some gin for your sores, you dumb bitch.

Chris:

yes, like the, like it starts off pretty innocent enough, right? Like the six year old forgot to pack her lunch or forgot to grab her lunch box. So the teacher sends an email and says, hey, can you bring the little kid some lunch? Cause she doesn't have any lunch. And, the mom writes back and she's Hey, the kid's responsible for picking up her own lunch. So the natural consequence of forgetting to pick up your lunch is that you're a little bit hungry during the afternoon. And, yeah, all right, that's a, that'll teach them. That's a lesson. But it's also miles away from not being able to sleep in your own bed for six months because you pulled a prank on your brother.

Sarah:

yeah, that's a lot. That is a lot. We

Chris:

so there, that's the, that's our parenting advice. This is now a parenting, podcast and not so much a mental health podcast anymore.

Sarah:

don't know dick about either.

Chris:

obviously. We really like the sound of our own voices though,

Sarah:

really it.

Chris:

All right. Growing up Gaster's story of the week. here's what I got. I put in college drop off cause I don't know that we talked about it. based on the drop and live off at school, I was going to talk about the Bethany college drop off and the culture shock that I then experienced. so real quick, I went to Bethany College in Bethany, West Virginia. There are about 750 students that go to school there when I go there. I played soccer, so I showed up a week early. And the only other people on campus are fall sports teams. So the volleyball team is there and the football team. and I show up with Nita and Jumbo and a refrigerator. that we have to move up three flights of stairs into Phillips Hall. So Phillips Hall is very historic. It was built in the 13th century, roughly, 1400s, 13th century. It

Sarah:

I get, centuries confuse me. I never know what it's confusing to me. Go, move on.

Chris:

anyway, it's old and there's no elevator, so we have to carry our refrigerator up three flights of stairs. And Nita and Jumbo essentially just move all my stuff in, give me a hug, and tell me goodbye. I have a meeting with the soccer team later on that day. And, Nita doesn't, fluff out all my blankets and she doesn't put the tapestry on the wall the way that I want it. She doesn't, there's no theme for the decorating of my room. It's basically just the shit I brought from home and then put in this dorm room. I had half a closet that was made of wood. It, it isn't like it is today. there's no. It isn't gorgeous or pretty. There's like a bed on the floor. we had a huge desk for the two of us to share that had two sides. So you use the kind of that to divide the room. my roommate did not play soccer. so she didn't show up till a week later and I took like the good bed and everything. and then they gave me a hug and said goodbye and that was it. And then they left. and my boyfriend at the time who had come to, to help move the refrigerator wouldn't leave. And I was like, you can go.

Sarah:

Bye.

Chris:

I've been waiting to break up with you and I would like it if you left. I wasn't. I was just thinking that once I got there that, just let nature take its course. I was very bad at breaking up with people. Traditionally. that, that was, and I didn't know where anything was, so I couldn't, I didn't know where my classes were, and if you've been to Bethany, there's four buildings, so you can't get lost, and you can't, it's hard to not know where something is. So I had to poke around that first week trying to find out where Maine was and they're like, Oh yeah, it's old Maine. It's that building right there. It's the one with the old tower on it. Oh, Richardson. That's the round building. There's the three buildings on campus and you live in one of them. So there you are. I was like, this is so odd. This is so weird. We had to go in, I had to go in and get a mailbox cause the college didn't give you a mailbox. You had to go to the post office and get a mailbox. So I had to fill out paperwork without my mom,

Sarah:

Weird.

Chris:

right? I think I might've called her and been like, I have to fill out paperwork.

Sarah:

Like we had to fill out paperwork too. We couldn't just go online and do that shit.

Chris:

Now I had to go to the post office and they had to give me a form.

Sarah:

So weird.

Chris:

Very bizarre, but that was my college, drop off experience. It wasn't the, and I'm pretty sure like Nita told everyone I was leaving, but then she had she had you, so she had to go back and get you to soccer practice and do all that kind of mom stuff. So out of sight, out of mind, And then it would call me and be like, can you come get me? I don't like it. My dad, Jumbo was like, no, we'll call you in a week. because it cost money to call back and forth back then. you couldn't just pick up the phone and talk to somebody for hours. I had a phone card. the college gave you a phone card so you could make long distance calls. And your parents had to keep putting money on it.

Sarah:

Yep.

Chris:

imagine Jumbo. Anyway, so that was my experience. I don't think it was very different when we dropped, when they dropped you off.

Sarah:

It wasn't very different. I would like to point out one thing. I was with them when they brought you, when they dropped you off.

Chris:

Again, I don't remember you being there.

Sarah:

Yeah, I was there. I remember being there because I was super happy to leave you behind.

Chris:

You were like, this is how it should have always been. I don't know why you wanted to have two children.

Sarah:

Peace. Four years of myself,

Chris:

I'm going to take over your bedroom and have the entire upstairs as my own suite.

Sarah:

which is amazing. Yes, it was wonderful. It was absolutely wonderful. yeah, my drop off at college was pretty much, this will come as no surprise, a bit more dramatic, but, yeah, pretty much the same. I was pretty excited. I went up to slippery rock, which is only. I think it was only a couple hours from where we lived at the time and, I was excited to get there and we got off the exit, we stopped at Mickey D's for breakfast, we got out of the car, I looked at daddy and I was like, okay, this has been fun, but we can go home now.

Chris:

I don't want it.

Sarah:

And he laughed and I was like, yeah, I'm serious. I don't think I want to do this. I didn't know any, like I didn't know anybody and same with you. I was there a week early for soccer and, yeah, they were like, okay, yeah, we're, you're staying.

Chris:

just, let's get you in your room, see

Sarah:

I lived on the fourth floor founders, fourth floor, seventh floor, fourth floor founders. Sounds right. I don't know, but I was literally pretty by myself and it was a rather large dorm and I was by myself on the floor. so that was scary. and yeah, mommy and daddy brought my stuff up. I think they helped me move some furniture around, maybe unpack a little bit. I don't really remember that part. what I remember is them leaving and me being like, and same thing, we had a team meeting and I was taking care of like, all right, I have to go to the team meeting. I have to meet people. Let me go to the team meeting. Yeah. I don't know anybody. And I didn't really do the training I was supposed to do all summer. So I have that, that I'm not looking forward. There's a lot of stuff that's a little overwhelming. and then I go back to my room and lose my shit and start crying. and then I call them and you may have taken the news from daddy a little better than I did because I, of course, being the spoiled brat that I am basically stomped my feet on the ground multiple times a day while crying and yelling at your parents to come get me.

Chris:

You are amazing.

Sarah:

Yeah. I was like, I can't believe you guys hate me and you're going to leave me here. So for the, I think the first three days I did that and The last time I did it, Daddy got on the phone, and you know when Daddy loses his shit, he really loses his shit. He really loses his shit. I will give you what I think, the words that were said basically, but he got on the phone and was like, You listen here. You have no clue what you are doing to your mother. I have had enough. Do you know where I was when I was 18 years old? I was on a plane to Vietnam!

Chris:

It's always a good argument. whatever you think you're going through. Do you know what I was doing when I was your age? I was in the fucking jungle.

Sarah:

Hi, Macho.

Chris:

Aw, there he is.

Sarah:

Get out of my ear. Okay, stop. Okay. So yeah, after that phone call, I was like, oh, okay. fuck you too. Fine. Whatever.

Chris:

Guess we're here.

Sarah:

yeah, after that then it was like I had friends and we got comfortable and I think mommy and daddy called me like two days later and I was like, can't talk. Go to a party.

Chris:

that is immediately what it turned into. I just had the one phone call, I was like, I don't think I like it. And they were like,

Sarah:

no. I tortured them for days. you imagine like now having a daughter,

Chris:

Yeah,

Sarah:

imagine,'cause Owen would call me once and I'd be like, yep. Coming to get you

Chris:

right, Olivia being like, it sucks here. I'm like, yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. There's bugs on you.

Sarah:

And me being the second one, she didn't have a spare at home to focus on. So

Chris:

She, oh. You know she was

Sarah:

know how, I honestly don't know how she made it through that little period of time because we had just moved from Elizabeth. So she had moved from all of her friends. you went to Arizona. I went to Slippery Rock. She was left with daddy and the dog.

Chris:

Right. in Denbo.

Sarah:

so yeah, that was college drop off at Slippery Rock. My next two colleges, there wasn't so much a drop off.

Chris:

you got there eventually, It's alright.

Sarah:

Owen's making noises in the back, making fun of me for going to several different colleges.

Chris:

Sometimes it takes seven years to graduate. Lots of people take seven years to graduate.

Sarah:

I

Chris:

You know what they're called?

Sarah:

Fucking doctors.

Chris:

never gets old.

Sarah:

I'll call myself a doctor. Dr. Sarah.

Chris:

Dr. Sarah. All right. Do you want to hear about how my therapy went?

Sarah:

Yeah.

Chris:

for those of you who might not know, I talk every week on this mental health podcast about how it's okay to get a therapist and it's probably good that everyone has a therapist and then I have squeaked by for how many ever months we've been doing this without actually having a therapist. I've been to the psychiatrist to manage some of my medication. But when the psychiatrist said, you're, you have a therapist, right? And I said, yeah, I'm looking for one. and I didn't look for one for about two months. and then, I'm a liar. And then Sarah, called me out on it and said, do you really do need to go get a therapist? So I got, I had an appointment two weeks ago, last week. And I liked her. she was very nice. Emily, we talked about how I have many boxes stacked up, that will eventually need to be unpacked. And, During our planning part of our call, not our call, I was there face to face with her, but during the planning part, we're talking about like why I'm there and what I think are the important issues. And we talk about, strategies for dealing with the ADD and, ways that I can focus and get stuff done and all of that. And she's Oh yeah, I have a lot of patients that have attention deficit disorder. And then when we're wrapping up, she says, Is there anything else? And I was like, oh yeah, there's like these 14 other things. And she was like, oh, she was like, so that's really why you're here. I'm like, yeah, but we just made a big plan for the other thing. She's like plenty of time. She's you're going to come back next week. And we'll see you every week. And I was like, yeah, that sounds about right.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's a good idea.

Chris:

Yeah. And then I think I said last week, I just felt like I did it wrong. Like the whole ride home.

Sarah:

Yeah. there's no right way to do the therapy. and I am pretty sure everybody who does therapy, the first time they go, even if it's not the first time, like the first time going to a new therapist, you feel like you did it wrong. and as long as you're talking and I think too, you just know yourself, if you have a bad therapist, which. It might just be a personal thing, whatever that you guys don't drive, you just know it and then it's time to move on. that's the only way you can do it wrong is if you continue to see a therapist that you know isn't helping you.

Chris:

I guess that's the trick, right? So I guess I did. I did it right there at the end and she and I will, we'll find a box and we'll open it up and unpack what's in there and see why I am the way I am. I don't,

Sarah:

I hope you don't expect to get an answer anytime soon. I've been in therapy since I was 18.

Chris:

it's got to change, right?

Sarah:

and every time I think I got it wrapped up,

Chris:

there we go. Yeah. All right. So we should talk a little bit, about. atomic habits. Just real quick. I haven't necessarily dug into the book to talk about what's on those pages, but I have been taking a look at some of the things. last week I talked about the cues and the cravings and the response and simplifying your habits so that they're just easy to do. So now I've got this yoga app on my phone that I like. So that just makes it super easy. I don't have to go anywhere. The two mornings I've been here in North Carolina, I've done yoga both days just because it was so easy and frankly hard not to do it. So killing it there. and next up, I think we should talk about some rewards and some sort of, making it satisfying. And I think a lot of what A lot of what I get out of doing yoga is being able to move a little bit better, like being able to touch my toes and going back. And at the beginning, I couldn't sit on my knees because my knees are bad, but also my muscles are so tight. I couldn't do it. so part of my reward is seeing some of those results. it's also understanding that if I keep going to yoga, I'll have to keep buying clothes to go to yoga. And those clothes are fucking cute.

Sarah:

For sure.

Chris:

So I think if we think about rewards, then I think next week we should talk about wrapping up atomic habits and going through each of those things and talking about the, and I think the hard part isn't necessarily changing the behavior. It's finding the thing, the behavior that you want to change, like going through the stuff that we talked about at the beginning is harder the cue, the craving, the response and the reward. It's harder than doing that stuff. so let's talk about wrapping up atomic habits and then start looking ahead to, 10 percent happier, I think is the next thing on our list.

Sarah:

It is. It is.

Chris:

Cause I would love to see us. I would love to see us as we learn how to meditate.

Sarah:

This should be a good one.

Chris:

continuing our conversations about what it must be like to have a quiet brain.

Sarah:

My brain is bad these days. It is bad. I need some medication. That too. meditation. Yeah.

Chris:

So I think we can probably, let's talk a little bit about how we're going to wrap up atomic habits. and then we'll figure out if it's one week or two weeks, and then we'll talk about how we're going to get into 10 percent happier, in, in what we're going to, what we're going to do there. So I'm pretty excited. I'm actually pretty excited about everything going forward, really.

Sarah:

I feel like I didn't really read Atomic Habits quite enough.

Chris:

that's what we can talk about. are there things we need to go back there and revisit?

Sarah:

Yeah. I definitely do. Maybe that will be my assignment for the weekend is to read a bit more. Yeah.

Chris:

I'm gonna go back to the chapter headers and look at, Oh, that was a good story. Or that was a good example. And then maybe what we can do is just outline some of the stories and the examples from there and be like, Hey, this is what we're talking about. When we say reward, it's different from tying it to something that you really like. So cravings and rewards are different, even though they're similar.

Sarah:

I dig it.

Chris:

the craving is I really crave a cup of, Dunkin Donuts coffee in the morning, so if I can tie that craving to going to yoga, then I'm going to yoga. and the reward is, if I'm, if I go to yoga every day for a week, then I can have a donut to go with my coffee.

Sarah:

Doughnuts.

Chris:

See, it's different.

Sarah:

Love doughnuts.

Chris:

Never met a bad donut. The original, one of the original Krispy Kremes is down the street from me right now. FYI.

Sarah:

Yeah, I don't really like doughnuts, actually. I'll eat them.

Chris:

I never met a

Sarah:

never chewed one away.

Chris:

Oh, no, thank you.

Sarah:

But it's not like I go on search for a doughnut. I'd much rather have a bagel.

Chris:

Nope. Deep, hot, deep fried goodness. All right. And again, we should talk about our diet.

Sarah:

yeah. working on that. so subject change, just so you know, getting my eyelashes removed. I should note to everyone, their fake eyelashes, not just getting my real eyelashes plucked out. So I've had eyelash extensions since January. I'm getting them removed on Saturday. I have a lot of anxiety about it because I will have zero eyelashes.

Chris:

They grow back. I had mine removed last year and they look nice.

Sarah:

So I bought some lash serum, except for I will never, ever use lash serum. Now that I've read all the warnings about it, there, one of the major things that could do is change your eye color.

Chris:

Oh god, no.

Sarah:

Fuck you, I'll be, I'll have bald lashes. I don't give a shit. It's, my eye color is the one thing I have left going for me in my life.

Chris:

This is the central key to my personality.

Sarah:

Nope. I will not fuck with that. People are like, yeah, my beautiful green eyes, they're getting dark. They're like brown. Oh, I would die. I would be suing motherfuckers.

Chris:

where do you put the serum that it's changing your eye color?

Sarah:

I, a lot of them, I guess there's ingredient, there's an ingredient in it. It's, I don't, there's some

Chris:

it in your eyes?

Sarah:

there's no scientific background to say that it happens, but there's enough people reporting it that I'm not willing to take the risk.

Chris:

Anecdotal evidence. But are you putting it in your eyes or you're just putting it on your

Sarah:

No, just put it, putting it on the top. But I guess there's something that

Chris:

I don't know what eyes do,

Sarah:

into your eye. I don't know, but I am not taking the chance, not taking the chance. I just thought I'd share that with you and our listeners that,

Chris:

No, I love it.

Sarah:

scares the shit out of me. so I have ordered, the little lash clusters that I do myself. So I won't have to leave the house with no eyelashes on my eyes.

Chris:

I think you're just kicking the can down the road, though. If you're putting the fake ones on still, you're going to rip out some of your natural ones.

Sarah:

Yeah, but I will have eyelashes on my face.

Chris:

I lived for, several decades having the tiniest, straightest eyelashes that were completely invisible.

Sarah:

For sure. Yeah, absolutely. But it's, once you have them though, it's really hard to give them up. it's a game changer for many reasons. I haven't, I haven't put mascara on my eyes since January.

Chris:

Yeah. it is, even if I have to put the mascara on, having eyelashes compared to not having eyelashes is just a, it's nice. It's nice to, it's nice to have them.

Sarah:

Yeah. But I am proud that I'm actually getting them removed this time instead of picking them off myself. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris:

I think that's what I did when I said I took, I had mine removed. I, no, I just, as they fell out, I just grabbed them and

Sarah:

when I've had them before, I've just picked them out and therefore picked out most of my real lashes. So it will be nice to get them removed. I'm probably going to do a little lash lift here and there.

Chris:

I do it all the

Sarah:

my little falsies. but my falsies, as long as I take them off, As long as I'm not coming home and just ripping them off, they shouldn't really damage my real lashes. So

Chris:

I cannot wait to hear the update on this. That is enough reason for people to tune in next week for sure.

Sarah:

Tune in next week to see my bald eyes.

Chris:

They'll be just as pretty though.

Sarah:

Very the sacrifices I make for my child to play soccer.

Chris:

Right. yeah, those bills are due. ooh, I have so much extra money now. I just paid college tuition. All right. I think we're done.

Sarah:

you.

Chris:

love you too. We'll talk to you soon. Bye bye.

Sarah:

Love you. Bye

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Christine Kanalis

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Sarah Leibhart

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