The Mental Funny Bone

Episode 21: The Recap: Why We Do This

• Gaster Girls

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In this slightly more organized solo episode, Christine from 'The Mental Funny Bone' provides updates on Sarah, who is out sick. 

Christine shares heartfelt thanks for audience feedback and dives deep into both her and Sarah's mental health struggles, recounting significant personal stories such as panic attacks, therapy experiences, and the challenges of parenting a child with severe depression during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Christine also shares lighter moments, including making mixtapes, implementing yoga into her daily routine, and discussing self-improvement strategies from 'Atomic Habits.' The episode wraps up with a hopeful message and an invitation to send well wishes to Sarah.

How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!

Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/

welcome, a little bit of bad news, Sarah's sick. So it's a, mini boner today with just me. So it's not going to be nearly as funny. it will be, more organized and there'll be less talking over each other. so that's always nice. just to remind you that this is a mental health comedy podcast. we don't know anything about treating mental health. at all. so if you would like to have someone work with you, with any of your mental health issues, there's some links in our show notes that you That should help you out. we're going to, we're going to try to do something a little bit different. today we got a lot of feedback, on the interview with Jackie and Ed and the addition of the bare bones banter interviews into our lineup. So thanks to everybody that reached out. in particular, I'm going to thank my buddy, Emil, who, who tunes in and he and I used to work together. he let me know that the schnapps, de Kuiper is Dutch. And that's how you say it like de and then swiper with a K. So thanks, Emil. Thanks for tuning in. I'm so glad that you do. Also, Rudy, thank you so much for entertaining Sarah and I earlier this week. he listened to, he listened to the episode where we were talking about Totally Clips of the Heart and sent us a dog singing Totally Clips of the Heart. or a lady with a dog reacting, I'm not sure that I remember right now, but it did sound a little bit like me singing, so nailed it. Rudy, and Jackie, Faircloth, thank you for sending us an email. when I read it, I felt bad for begging everybody to send us emails. we did get quite a few and, I got some text messages and we got some feedback on Facebook. So thanks you guys. thanks for, Tune it in and listening and giving us the feedback. We appreciate it. sometimes it's hard for us to tell if anyone is being entertained other than just the two of us. we're going to keep doing it just for that, but it's nice to hear that you guys are enjoying it too. all yeah, a little bit of a different format. What we're going to try to do today, based on the feedback that we got, we think maybe we'll have a couple of new listeners and, the new listeners won't have had a chance to, hear our story. To hear why we're doing, why we're doing the podcast and how we came up with the idea and why mental health is so important to me and so important to Sarah. So I am going to go back and cut out a little bit of our first episode and splice that in here because I think you guys know at this point, I am a, I'm a podcast editing genius. that way people don't have to go back to that first episode and try to listen to all of the, all of the sort of background noise. you're going to have to listen to it anyway, because it's going to sound the same. I'm not redoing it. I'm just copying it. but it'll be just a little snippet of that first episode. I'll get that over here. And, I hope you guys enjoy a sort of a recap of what the mental funny bone, becoming the gaster girls is all about. so I'll catch you, back here after that.

Track 1:

Realistically, we probably won't

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

So while sissy, is making notes, by the way, she'll call herself Christine. I'll call her sissy. Cause that's what I've called her my whole life. So little introductions. We can go take that right into introductions.

Track 1:

Yeah, let's do it.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Sarah. I'm the younger sister. also known through the majority of my life as the crazier sister, the wilder sister, which again,

Track 1:

The preacher's sister.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Fuck off. Anyway, the wild thing. kinda, but I got stories. I got stories. Anyway, I live right outside of Pittsburgh, with my husband Noah and our 14 year old son Owen, yeah, so that's real quick about me. Christine.

Track 1:

So I'm Christine. I'm the older I want to say it's slightly more responsible, but I think it's really, slightly more afraid of failing. I'm older. A little bit more organized. I had five years with the parents on it myself. And then I asked for a big brother. And, and they gave me a little sister. I'm not saying I was disappointed. But I didn't talk to her for a good 15 years.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

not saying I was disappointed, but I was disappointed.

Track 1:

she couldn't even play catch. You could throw stuff at her. She wouldn't catch it. It would just make her cry. That's

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

like this, so you probably threw it

Track 1:

not it.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

there, and I was over there.

Track 1:

I'd already had the corrective surgery by then,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

We're going to have to post some pictures of your eyes going this way.

Track 1:

but they fixed it now. Also, your mother looked at me in these glasses and said, is your eye swollen? I said, no, one of my eyes is really bad and one of them isn't.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I feel like they should have fixed that when you were a baby, when they were going the wrong direction.

Track 1:

You can only do so much,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Okay.

Track 1:

but I live, outside of Pittsburgh, but it's the opposite way and a lot less close to the city. So I live, I'm the country mouse and Sarah is the city mouse. right now I'm an empty nester with my husband, David. like we said, our daughter Olivia is off killing it at college. She's a double major in biology and, psychology and,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Just like her mom. She's an overachiever.

Track 1:

we have a need for approval that goes deep. Anyway, all right, off you go. I think you are up first with our mental health, mental health discussions. I think what we were gonna do this week is give everyone an intro of why we think mental health is important and why we You know, the big why, like, why do we want to talk about this stuff? Why do we want to, why do we want to bother figuring out how these microphones work? why do we want to pay a squad cast to make sure we're recording, So I think you go first because you actually have, you actually have more time at a therapist's office than I do. So you're the senior here.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I do. I love therapy and I think that everybody should be required to do the therapy. Yeah. let's start with, probably around the age of 18. When I realized that I was probably had a little bit of crazy going on and needed a little bit of help. and growing up the eighties and nineties, if I said I was sad about anything, it was just all in my mind

Track 1:

Stop being sad.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

yet to stop being sad.

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What are you sad about? What do you have to be sad for?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Why are you sad? Look, you have everything. You're to go. You shouldn't be sad about anything.

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I'll give you something to cry about.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

That,

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It's the best.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

yeah, so my freshman year of college, some things happened, lost a couple of friends from high school and that kind of, that made me really sad and I didn't really know how to process that and, just in general being 18 years old. It's not super easy,

Track 1:

No,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

going to college and trying to figure out who you are is not super easy, especially when you're definitely someone different than everybody thought you were your whole life growing up. So far,

Track 1:

right?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I didn't want to play soccer anymore and I had to tell my parents I didn't want to play soccer anymore. And that's what they invested so much of their time and their money in my whole life. And I did tell them I didn't want the scholarship I had anymore. So lots of changes going on. And, yeah, started getting pretty sad and just overall, weird things like had a little bit of insomnia start. And, then I had my first panic attack, which for anybody who has panic attacks, the first one you have, you will never forget. I was in a bar, imagine that.

Track 1:

Yeah, but you're with our parents. So it's not like you were out boozing with your friends at two o'clock in the morning and had a panic attack,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I was with my mom and dad and we were going out to meet a bunch of their friends just for dinner. So it was like a restaurant bar. It wasn't really just a bar. And, we're sitting there and I was in the corner. My dad was on one side. Mommy was on the other side. And, I started getting like a little, I was like having a little bit, like my heart was beating. Was just going crazy. And I tried to calm myself. The more I thought about it, of course, the worse it got. I eventually thought for sure I was having a heart attack and couldn't breathe. And, yeah, luckily mommy and daddy were there and, mommy did a really good job clearing the way, like we need to get outside. I don't really totally remember everything that happened there, but I think that we did an okay job not making like a huge deal out of it, which looking back, I'm surprised.

Track 1:

right?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

but anyway, so yeah, I thought I was having a heart attack. We got outside. And as soon as I got outside is when I like, I literally, I like really lost my shit. Like I can't breathe and I'm going to pass out and all of that shit. And, their mommy and daddy were contemplating, do we call 911? What do we do? And I finally started getting air into my lungs and pulling it all together. and so that spurred, I went back to school after that and decided it was probably a good idea if I want to see a therapist at school. And from that point on, at that therapy appointment, we talked about a lot of stuff. and I started taking meds to help me sleep because we felt that, that probably wasn't helping that. I literally was sleeping maybe one hour in a 24 hour period. So that helped. And, from that point on, that's when it all started. And to this day, I still go to therapy. I'm still on meds. There's a lot more to dig into over the last 30 years then,

Track 1:

So

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

but get into all of that.

Track 1:

what year? what are we talking about? Like 95, 96?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

no. Cause I think it was my sophomore year. So I think we're later in the nineties. So it was probably like 98.

Track 1:

That's what I was thinking, too. I was already in Arizona. What?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I said, I think I'm still considered a freshman, neither here

Track 1:

I had a total of four successful credits.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Yeah.

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it's hard to focus on school when you're worried about dying all the time.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

yeah, pretty much. yeah, so like I said, there's a lot more to dig into. That's just the surface of where it started. And, but that's why mental health is important to me because it's, been a huge part of me and my life over the past 30 years. I'm just fortunate enough to have family and friends that surround me and a good therapist and a good psychiatrist. that when I'm feeling I have them like my sister remind me that every time I slip a little down, I'm going to go ahead and fight every single time.

Track 1:

All the time.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

to listen. So just trying to get that out there that it's okay to talk about it. And, when we talk about it, it makes things better for ourselves, but not only that, it helps other people. And that's my beginning again, I could talk for a thousand hours about what I've been through in mental health over the last 30 years, but I think we'll dig into that throughout the podcast

Track 1:

we have hours. We have hours to talk about it.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

and we're gonna, we're gonna, we're going to dig into that shit,

Track 1:

We got shovels. We got pickaxes.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

putting your hand under your arm, like making a fart noise.

Track 1:

I was not.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

that's the way to take it. All right.

Track 1:

I was joking.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

another thing about us as the gastric girls, we, we have a hard time being serious. with just laughter. So that's why we're the funny, the mental funny bone, because it helps.

Track 1:

and the more serious the topic, the more likely we are to do dumb shit.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Sometimes inappropriate. Oh

Track 1:

are you gonna do? Alright, so I will talk about why I think this stuff is important. this one, this is gonna be hard, cause I don't, I feel uncomfortable right now. I feel itchy.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

yeah. I didn't get hives today. about, yeah, it was yesterday. I was talking about my attack and I was getting hives. So I didn't,

Track 1:

Getting all red. all right, so I will just, rip the band aid off. so three, four years ago, four years ago, at the very beginning of the pandemic, I had been, I'd been traveling, I'd been gone, like a couple of weeks every month. David and I were doing our best to take care of Olivia. Olivia had been struggling with some depression things. For a couple of years. So we figured out early on that Olivia wasn't really a happy all the time kid. Maybe when she was like seventh grade, eighth grade, she started seeing a therapist. So the therapist put her on some Prozac and we, we felt like we were doing what we were supposed to be doing. I was taking her to therapy and it, sitting there for an hour while she talked about her problems. But I was also really busy and David was busy and we were just running around all over the place. so I've been gone. Olivia had just started going to public school from Catholic school and there was this, there was a dance and she had done something dumb while I was out of town, like something that she was grounded for. And to be honest, I can't even remember what it was right now, like telling lies or doing some stupid 13 year old girl shit. so she wasn't allowed to go to this dance and she was absolutely livid, livid. Like this dance was the end all and be all. Like, all of the kids at her new school wanted her to go, and, it was just super important to her that she go to this dance. And, her, I got into town the day of the dance, and I probably got home, in the middle of the dance. And she thought when I got home I was gonna tell her it's okay and you can go, you don't have to listen to your dad, of course you're not grounded. But I didn't, I was like, no, you're not allowed to go, you're doing dumb shit and you can't go. that night, David went, I went to bed because I was exhausted. David went to tuck Olivia in and found a suicide note on her dresser and a bottle of empty pills, laying on the bed, and he had a little trouble waking her up. So David flips out, we get her up, we get her into the kitchen, and, try to get the story out of her. Like, how, what do? What did you do? what is going on? And, when that happens, it's really terrifying and eye opening and soul shattering all at the same time. Because then you have to figure, you have to figure out how you're gonna, how you're gonna go forward from there, right? do you, do we just, she wasn't very sick. overdosing on Prozac isn't gonna make it, it's not gonna kill you. And it doesn't really make it too terribly ill, but, we, as Olivia's parents, have a choice to make. Do we do we keep her at home and be like, Hey, don't do that. That was dumb. what do you think that you're doing? or do we take her to the ER and having enough experience in this stuff to know that. If I take this child to the emergency room, they are going to do a psych evaluation on her, and since she tried to kill herself, she is most likely, she's most likely going to end up in an inpatient facility. So they're most likely going to commit her, and Ew! And it's not going to be easy for anybody, it's not going to be easy for her, it's not going to be easy for us, and then you have to deal with, as shameful as it is, what are other people going to think about her, and what are other people going to think about me, and, how I almost let my kid die, and, what are, how are we going to get past that if we let that happen? And if we don't, if we do make a decision to be like, so you're standing there at this crossroads, right at 3 a. m. And no one has had enough sleep and you have to make that decision and you have to look at this person that you need to keep alive and be like, what's the best thing for you? what am I, what are we going to do? And I'm like, okay, just so you know, I'm going to, I'm going to get you in the car and we're going to go to the emergency room and then they're going to, they're going to take you away from me for a couple of days. And I'm like, I just want you to know that, but that's what we're going to do. this is how the three of us are going to get through this. that's tough. just being in that position is, like I said, soul shattering. you don't even know what to do other than just put one foot in front of the other for the next couple of days. horrible. Horrible. That's what I got. That's what I got. and then you get there and you walk in and the lady at the ER is like, what's going on? I'm like, oh, Olivia tried to hurt herself. and then they go into they go into, Helping Olivia mode and they're rushing her off and they like they're like great We don't we can't get anybody in here until the normal. a normal waking up time So olivia and I are just in this room. They're like, how do you feel? Do you feel sick? Do we have to make sure you throw like they're And she's I don't feel that bad, like all, and then it is literally just putting that one foot in front of the other foot until the psych evaluation happens, they have to find her a place that's inpatient, and then they expect you as her parent who has absolutely no experience picking a mental health facility to pick a place to put your child. And I'm like, I don't. No, can I Google, like, how do, can I get a Yelp review on Western Psyche? what, how do I know which one of these places is the best place? How do I know which one is a shitty place? which one of these is one flow over the cuckoo's nest versus, a place that's actually gonna help her? yeah, you're just trying to get through it.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

And that's what, being on the other side of that, like being the one who needs the help. it's so hard because you're going to the emergency room for a broken bone, just need to cast that shit up and we move on.

Track 1:

Right?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

when you're going to the emergency room, because you tried to cause harm to yourself and the help that you need, It's so hard to ask for because when you go in for a broken arm, it's what hurts. It hurts here

Track 1:

I broke this.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

in depressed and when you're suicidal, hurts everything, everything hurts. why does it hurt? I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know, but it physically hurts and I want it to stop.

Track 1:

Right.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

And I think one of the most eyeopening thing. With me when it comes to, to suicide is, or was like, I remember the day that I, I said out loud, I know why people kill themselves. This is why people kill themselves because this is what they feel like. And they just want to fucking stop. And it's so hard to advocate for yourself when you don't even know how to explain it to other people.

Track 1:

Right.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

being a mom hurts, that hurts so bad. I know when I came home from Slippery Rock because that was, where shit went bad was at Slippery Rock and I came home and I moved in with mommy and daddy and, the song that I related to, so I'm just going to you could feel bad for mommy here because the song that I felt told my story really well was Angel by Sarah McLachlan.

Track 1:

Oh, God. Oh, did you make your mother listen to that? Oh,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

And I said, this is what I feel like, I just want the angels to take me away and make it better. I don't want to be anybody else's problem. I don't want to be my own problem. Just listen to the words they're heartbreaking. And as a parent, you don't like, what do you do? What do you do? What was she supposed to do with that? So

Track 1:

there's no, there's no other alternative. But, there's such, and this is why, this is really why I think this stuff is important. It's one thing to go to the ER with a broken bone, cause then everyone's oh my God, yeah, look, I can see your broken bone. That's gotta be, oh, that's gotta be terrible. And no one feels ashamed, no one feels like breaking a bone is some kind of character flaw or defect or something that makes them weird, right? I broke my arm, I had to go to the ER. I had to go get treated for this.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

unless you make your kid walk around with a broken arm for, don't know, five days. Cause you don't fucking leave them

Track 1:

the kid cries wolf all the time. your kid cries wolf all the time. But yeah,

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

and

Track 1:

of shame on it. And that's what I felt. Like when I walked in the ER, like I was ashamed. I'm like, and nobody feels like that when it's a concussion or. something that happened to you, right? no one feels bad that, oh yeah, you fell and broke your arm. Oh, that's got to hurt.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I think again, it comes from just not knowing just the unknown of everything. Like, why did you try to kill yourself? Why did you try to hurt yourself? Is there something going on at home? Is there something, there's so many different things that can cause it and just the unknown freaks, everybody the fuck out. why for so long, everybody just fucking ignored it. Yeah.

Track 1:

right. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, that's changing. if you compare your first panic attack. And what everyone around you wanted to talk about. And, your parents are awesome. They are just awesome, good people. But, I bet they were just a little bit like, Oh, I'm sure it wasn't a panic attack. you're I remember growing up and being like, Hey, I feel sad. And, stop feeling sad.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I'm dramatic too. in their defense, it's fine.

Track 1:

ha.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

whether they doubted or whatever was, really happened. Like I can't remember when we figured out what it was. I think I was in therapy maybe before we figured it out. But anyway, they, whether they doubted me or not, they still helped me.

Track 1:

Yeah. what are we going to do?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

yeah. And I think another thing that has helped me as far as your parents are concerned is. Daddy, regardless of he's, he'll admit it, but he would never get help for it. Just the struggles that he's gone through in his life, being a Vietnam vet and depression that he's dealt with his entire life. and he's never seeked any help for it, but he can relate. And I've had conversations with him about it that make me feel bad that he's had to deal with it. makes me amazed that he is where he is now, because I'm not sure where I would be if I didn't have him. If I didn't have you, if I didn't have mommy and daddy, if I didn't have my friends, like to see where I would be. so it just, I want to make sure that my kid and the same thing that you want that it's okay to talk about it we need to talk about it. we as parents just have to keep checking in. with a 14 year old sucks. was asked the other day, how's Ellen doing? I don't know. I think he's okay. Like I tried to talk to him as much as I can, whatever. But yeah, being a parent and dealing with it is a whole new ball game.

Track 1:

It was, I mean. those first couple of, those first couple of hours, it is literally, I don't even know what's happening, and they, at least at Washington Hospital, they put you, in this back room, and everything is locked down, they take all the phones, no one has a phone, no one's doing anything on the internet, you're in there with a TV and a bed, and Olivia and I are just staring at each other, like, how do you feel? And at least three or four times, I was like, I'm just gonna take you home. This is fine. We'll figure this out. This, I'm just gonna take you home. at least three or four times. We were probably there, I think we got to the ER at two ish, three ish in the morning, and we got her checked in to Western Psych at maybe nine o'clock the following night. So it was a good, it was a good long time where I had to sit there and be like, okay, I'm just gonna go tell the lady we can leave.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

We're going to go.

Track 1:

We're gonna go. I can't handle, I can't process what's going on right now. I know you need help, but I can't do it.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

But you've done a really good job and to say because I don't and I might be wrong but

Track 1:

I'll correct you.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

you've done a really good job considering that you haven't had the battles that she has.

Track 1:

Yeah, I don't know, I'm sad sometimes, but not, yeah, not the level. not even close. Not even close. Yeah, that, that's, that, and I think that's why I was like, I'm just gonna take you home, because we'll just pretend that you're not sad, and, I don't get sad, so obviously we'll just be able to work through this. I'll make cookies.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Oh, I love cookies.

Track 1:

Me too.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Cookies. Love cookies.

Track 1:

the other hard part with Olivia was, she does her ten days, and Through that 10 days, David and I are running back and forth between Western Psych and here, and you're allowed in to see them, but she doesn't really feel like talking. And you, by the time visiting hours open up and David and I get there, we have an hour and 10 minutes maybe to spend with her. And when you go visit them, you're in their prison cell, essentially, with them, because that's what a Western Psych looks like. It's just, you're in this cinder block room, they've got one single bed, they've got a bottom sheet but no top sheet because they're not allowed to have that. Everything I would bring for her.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

like a dorm room in the nineties

Track 1:

only worse, there are less things, because there are some things in your dorm room that you could have used to hurt your roommate.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

for

Track 1:

not that you would have wanted to hurt Jocelyn, but you could have. there's not a lot of drawers. you just have, a closet. everything we brought her had to go through, six other people. I would bring a bag for her, and it would have to go through, an x ray machine in order for me to get it in the building. And then it would have to get searched to make sure I'm not bringing her, a steak knife.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

He was right.

Track 1:

exactly like it should, but it's still a little disconcerting. I brought her underwear because she ran out and she didn't even get them before it was time to get out. it was just a very inefficient kind of way to do things. But that's whatever. But she does her 10 days there, which is exactly right. So that's like March 13th, 2020, she gets out and comes home and

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

the work. The shit.

Track 1:

I don't even, I don't even remember, thinking anything about COVID. I, and I was really into watching, the Johns Hopkins map light up all over the world. I was like, look at it!

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

We met that Friday. That was March something. It was right before, it was right for the first case was in our area. we went to the Mexican place? I have a picture of you licking the table or acting like you were going to lick the table. And I was like, fuck COVID.

Track 1:

And then we were like, I should probably have hung off, right?

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Never leaving the house again.

Track 1:

And at the same time, Olivia gets out of the facility. And now I want to like, which is harder than going in, I think, because when you're going in, you're like, yeah, this is perfect. This is exactly what I need coming out. You're like, now I have to go home with this stranger.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Yeah.

Track 1:

I'm like, I don't know what she likes. I feel like everything up until the time when she was real with us about how sad she was, like, and not that trying to take your own life is a way to be real with the people around you, but that was essentially what it was. Like, I don't think you understand how sad I am, so I'm going to show you in a very real and physical way. everything up until that was a pretend kind of Olivia. And then to have to deal with, hey, this is the real Olivia. And then immediately, there's no aftercare, there's no nothing, there's just me and Olivia and her dad for the next four months.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

Yeah.

Track 1:

It was nuts. Nuts. Anyway, I'm sure I'm not going to unpack all that forever and ever.

sarah_1_04-01-2024_160906:

I was just going to say, I think that does a good job at introducing our initial bouts of mental health issues, maybe. So it gives everybody a little bit of an idea why we wanted to go this way with our podcast. We originally were just going to be funny, which is awesome because we're funny and we love being funny. And we were just originally going to tell gastro stories because why not? And we have a bunch of them that we need to be recorded in some manner. but we also decided to go this route because it means something a little bit more to both of us.

I also took a little stroll down memory lane while we were talking about the Growing Up Gaster story of the week. And I don't know if you guys remember making, mixtapes. people who, people who are younger will not remember. Making mix tapes, but back in the day, you could get a blank tape and you could get a tape with your favorite songs on it, and you could pick and choose just like making a playlist today, only with a lot more effort. so we would use these, mix tapes for all kinds of things. if you liked somebody, you would make them a mix tape so you could put all of your favorite songs on it. And then they would know how much you liked them because you, you gave them a mixtape with, Modern English, I Melt With You on it. any number of songs by Depeche Mode would be included on all of mine. so I went back, And made a playlist, which isn't nearly as much fun as making a mixtape. the mechanics of it are just so simple. I don't know why you guys don't make playlists for everything. Ugh. We had to actually buy a tape. You had to buy a tape. I had to ask my mom for money. Could I get some blank tapes? so I can make some mixtapes. mine were epic though. even when, we started doing playlists back when iTunes was a new thing, I pulled out a lot of my old mixtapes and would listen to them and then put the playlist together on iTunes based on the songs that were on the mixtape, epic, it was wonderful. but this week I went back and made a, a playlist called 1990 soccer bus playlist. And these are songs that I would have put on a mix tape if it had this much room. You also had to limit yourself to, 90 minutes. It couldn't be over 90 minutes. so that has a lot of. Alternate, rock songs from the eighties. they are fantastic and I don't understand why this music isn't popular today or it wasn't more popular then. And I don't understand why I don't listen to it more. probably because I live in a house with people who like hair metal. And that's what we listen to. so there is the joy of the mixtape. Like I was the queen of making the mixtapes, but every time somebody gave me a mixtape and I think this lasted well into college. it was just one of the most special things, the joy of receiving a mixtape. Hey, here's 90 minutes of music that I thought you would like. so touching. I don't think we do this enough today. I don't know if kids exchange playlists. But, freakin awesome. Alright, so let's skip ahead to a little bit about mental health. so I had a therapy appointment today, which I was really looking forward to telling Sarah about. and since she's not here, I'll just have to tell you guys. It was it was interesting, so I finished up my therapy appointment and I got out to the car and, talked to Olivia, who is away at school now. in case any of you wanted a reason to be sad along with me, it's just that I miss Olivia when she's not here. but she called so I was sitting in the car and she asked me how therapy was and I was like, I feel more anxious after therapy because I'm pretty sure I did it wrong. so this intake appointment where they ask you a bunch of questions about, how homicidal you feel and I, you guys have listened to the podcast, so I just made a joke and then had to explain that I made a joke. So we finished my intake appointment. We talk all about my attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and talk about how the medication's working, but it would be nice to talk through some things that I'm also seeing. And see if we can maybe get some strategies in place to make sure that the medicine and the therapy kind of work together to do what they're supposed to do. And at the end she was like, great, we put together a little plan for how we were going to do that. And at the end she was like, is there anything else you wanted to talk about? And then I brought up like, and she's I think that's why you're really here. we'll still talk about the ADHD stuff, but we'll dig into these two things too. And I was like, Oh, dad. And then I felt like I had done the whole thing wrong. Like we could have talked about those two things in the beginning. so that is something that maybe I will get better at as I continue to go through to therapy. yeah, we'll see. We'll see. I'm sure I didn't do it wrong. And I'm sure if I went back in and talked to her, she would be like, you did not do it wrong. We'll get there. We can't talk about everything in one day anyway. all So my yoga habit is coming along. I did yoga in my Airbnb while I was dropping Olivia off, just like Sarah suggested that I could, I got an app for that. What's it called? Down, down dog, down dog app, something like that, where you could, you could, the lady will just do yoga with you on your phone, or you could stream it to the TV, so just do it in the living room. and that kind of brought me back a little bit to the atomic habits. So we talked about, lining up your. your habits, your life improvement with your values and deciding that this is the person that I want to be. I don't want to, I don't want to be, I don't want to have a yoga habit. I want to be the person that goes to yoga. I want to be the person that likes yoga and is good at yoga. That's lines up with what I want to be. I want to be a little bit healthier and that'll help. I want to keep being stretchy, as I get older. And I think moving and doing yoga is going to be an important part of that. Also not weighing 200 pounds is an important part of that. So looking at getting into the yoga and making sure that I do it, I think we talked about the cue. So making it obvious, yeah, of course I have yoga class tomorrow morning. So tonight before I go to bed, I'm just going to put my clothes up on the top of the dresser. So they're there and they're easy. The craving, so making it attractive, going into it with the attitude that I'm going to be able to get up, get in my car, listen to my podcast, the whole way there, just start at the beginning of 10 percent happier and stream it all the way through. that's nice. I like doing that and, being able to Get, get a coffee, when I'm done. So there's a little bit of a little bit of a thing there for me to do. so we talked about those things, making it attractive and making it obvious. And then the next one is making it easy. So yeah, it is a pain in the ass to get up at five 30 in the morning. It's a pain in the ass to rush around here to get everything, To get everything the way that it should be and then head off to class and as Sarah was pointing out that You don't need to go to class. Like you don't need to find a yoga studio. this, down dog app should make it pretty easy to do yoga. I don't have to do anything except turn on the app and do 45 minutes worth of yoga. So that's going to be my atomic habit, this week, to do, making it easy. Finding easy ways to keep up with my yoga habit. and we'll see where we get. again, no excuses. It is a tough week. I did leave Olivia. She is having some challenges. and I'm not there. And that's okay. Cause I'm not always going to be there. a let nerd. Take care of it. Jumping in when I have to. but I'm not going to use that as an excuse to not do the thing that will improve my life. So there we go. next week when Sarah's back, we'll talk a little bit about reward. make it satisfying. So providing immediate rewards for completing the habit. So again, getting that coffee at the end. So if I want to get a Dunkin Donuts coffee after I'm done with my yoga, it's right there. If I remember to take my wallet, I can do that. So that's fun. And, we'll dig into, we'll dig into that. I'll let you guys know how, how it went making it easy this week. So I've already done two yoga classes, one where I went to the studio and one where I just did it here. Yeah, we'll keep on we'll keep on changing our lives one tiny little atomic habit up at a time yeah, I hope you guys are reading along with the book and getting something out of that I can tell you we're probably going to do atomic habits for two three more weeks And then we're going to get into ten percent happier and you can watch sarah and I try to meditate Which should be? should be fun. apparently it's really important and it really works. And, yeah, I guess that would be cool if we all did that together. I will tell you guys that this isn't very fun without, without Sarah. and I hope that she feels better and that she comes back stronger than ever next week. so if you want to send her a get well message, It's gastrogirls at gmail. com and you can You know wish her a speedy recovery from the death cold that she has i'm sure she would appreciate that She would probably pee her pants. She would be so excited. All right, you guys i'm going to tell you that I love you because sarah's not here. love you guys we'll catch up with you again next week. I hope you enjoyed this little mini boner with just me. All right guys, we'll talk to you soon. Bye!

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Christine Kanalis

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Sarah Leibhart

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